My friend asked me to pay $3.8k to attend her wedding, I refused

"You shouldn't have to fund someone else's big day," one commenter pointed out, before many jumped in agreeing. 

A maid of honour was left conflicted after her friend asked her to fork out nearly $4k to be part of her destination wedding in Spain. 

Taking to an advice forum on Mumsnet, the woman explained that she had been invited to stay at a villa with the bride's family and friends, the same villa where the couple would also tie the knot. 

As the ceremony would take place at the villa, the bride stipulated that the cost of the ceremony should be 'divided between the 14 rooms'. 

Say, what?!

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Image: IStock

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The total cost of the wedding per guest would be $3.8k

In addition to this, the bride also forced people to pay for the entire week, even if they couldn't stay the entire time.

The total cost was going to be around $3.8k. However, it wasn't just the eye-watering cost that was the issue for the OP.

She explained, "The thought of spending a week socialising in a villa feels overwhelming, particularly when I don't know anyone and everyone else is in a couple, so I was going to stay only four nights." But, the bride said she would still have to cover the cost of the entire week. 

The woman didn't want to forfeit her spot at the wedding, so she decided to try another approach. She asked the bride if she could share a room with another guest, in order to bring down costs. 

However, this also didn't go down well with the bride who began getting upset and crying when her friend suggested this compromise. 

The OP explained, "She said I've never been enthusiastic about her wedding plans (which is true, when she first asked for my villa deposit, I had asked a few times about other accommodation options)."

The bride ended up refusing to talk to her friend which eventually culminated in a "heated discussion."

The woman was told, "It's clear the time/cost/venue etc. is asking too much of you" and "if it had been the other way around" it "wouldn't have even crossed her mind to think about these things".

Eventually, the OP found other accommodation and her deposit for the villa was returned - but now she's wondering if she should even attend the wedding or not. 

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"The friendship is already over I'm afraid. I wouldn't go."

She then asked Mumsnet users if it would be possible to cancel without ruining the friendship. 

"Truth be told I'd rather go to a school friend's wedding on the same weekend who I feel like is a much better friend," she concluded. 

One user wrote, "The friendship is already over I'm afraid. I wouldn't go. I'm sorry."

A second added, "It sounds like the friendship isn't going to survive much longer anyway."

Then a third said, "You shouldn't have to fund someone else's wedding."

Originally published as My friend asked me to pay $3.8k to attend her wedding, I refused