Rory Gibson: My brother’s terminal diagnosis brought him back to us

Rory Gibson’s brother’s terminal cancer diagnosis was a shock to his family, but it meant he wouldn’t die from a policeman’s bullet, hypothermia on a park bench or an overdose.

If you accumulate enough years, life will eventually roll out its full palette of joys and sorrows for you to savour or suffer through.

I guess that’s why we try to shield our kids from reality for so long – we know what’s coming.

My brother has not had a good life. He almost did. All the elements for a fulfilling and happy existence were in place, but he just couldn’t break away from drugs, and in the end they took everything.

Well, not everything. Not his last breath. Cancer is going to do that, and strange as it sounds that’s a comfort to those who love him.

Columnist Rory Gibson with his brother Danie.

Anyone who has had dealings with the mental health system in Australia will know how limited it is, and how families are too often left flailing trying to get help that doesn’t exist for a loved one teetering on the edge of despair, destitution or suicide.

My brother was the sweetest kid. On his fourth birthday (I was six) he was given a one-dollar note by a grandparent. I begged him to share it with me, so he tore it in half. I still feel ashamed about my greedy request to this day, but smile at his unhesitating generosity.

It’s the story I told the crowd when I was Best Man at his wedding, and it’s the memory to which I clung as he slipped into a narcotic hell.

His diagnosis just before Christmas of terminal lung cancer was a shock of course, but also a relief. Now we know he won’t die from a policeman’s bullet, hypothermia on a park bench or an overdose, all of which have at some time been scarily possible.

His pain will be managed by a great health system geared up for this type of illness, just not the one that has plagued him for the past 20 years.

The news has brought his children and grandchildren back to him, which is good for him … and great for them.

And if I could, I would take my remaining years, rip them in half and give some to my brother.

Love you mate.

Insta: officialrorygibson