Multiple births can mean double trouble for marriage

IT’S a family profile that has become more common in recent years - and unfortunately it can make divorce more likely.

PARENTS of twins have a 50 per cent chance of divorcing before their kids start school.

Exhaustion, high depression rates, financial pressure and a breakdown in connection are all contributing to premature splits.

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The average Australian marriage lasts 12 years, and McCrindle Research reports that the divorce rate is one in three.

Kate Lucas from the Brisbane Multiple Births Association Northside, the largest of 12 support groups across Queensland, is the single mother of seven-year-old twin girls, a 10-year-old boy and a 21-year-old daughter. She split from her husband when the twins were four.

“Yes I am one of those statistics,” she said.

“We had three children under three and a teenager to cope with and my husband found it overwhelming. He is a loving father but we made mistakes.

“When the twins were babies and I was breastfeeding around the clock he moved into the spare room as he had to get up for work.

“I was exhausted and resentful and after that we struggled to reconnect. Many households end up in a sort of divide and conquer arrangement just to get through it.”

Financial strain often breaks an already struggling marriage. More than 60 per cent of multiple births in Queensland are less than 37 weeks’ gestation. With the threat of premature labour many women opt to leave the workforce half way through their pregnancy.

“Medical bills can be high — I had a five week inpatient stay and the babies were also in the special care unit for another month. Additional daycare for our son was an extra blow” she said.

The Australian Multiple Births Association confirmed that mothers of multiples had almost twice the average risk of postnatal depression. Fathers could also experience mental health issues.

“It is really hard for families who are expecting or who have multiples to hear this increased rate,” the association’s Ali Mountifield said.

“Not only are they dealing with more than one baby at a time and sleep deprivation, but they’re also conscious of the need to focus on their relationship when all their energy is taken up caring for the children.

“It is very stressful when you are waiting for the birth of multiples — unsure of when they will arrive, whether they will survive and that can take its toll.”

Originally published as Multiple births can mean double trouble for marriage