‘I was duped by a sugar daddy’

A Melbourne woman has relied on sugar daddies to fund her lifestyle but now has been shafted by one.

Twenty-five-year-old Rani from Melbourne yearns for the celebrity lifestyles she follows on Instagram. To fund this, she relies on arrangements with wealthy sugar daddies. Unfortunately, not all sugar daddies are what, or who they seem.

I work in an industry that allows me a comfortable lifestyle but not the lifestyle I desire. My dream would be like Anna Delvey from Inventing Anna (except the money would be real.)

I would have designer clothes and bags, stay at the most luxurious establishments, eat at the finest restaurants, drink only the best wine or French Champagne and I’d definitely never fly economy.

Some of my friends find this desire superficial and something I shouldn’t be aiming for but for me, this is exactly how I envision my life. The only issue being, I can’t afford it myself.

So, for a year or so I have been actively on the hunt for a sugar daddy. I have joined various sites specifically created for this desire and have had some short term success in securing a man to fulfil my needs but nothing longer-term.

The woman says that her experiences with sugar daddies has been positive up until now. Picture: iStock

Despite this, my experiences had been overwhelmingly positive. The men I had been in arrangements with were kind, generous, sophisticated and some quite handsome. The relationships were all easy and when things ended it was always amicable.

But my positive experiences with sugar daddies changed recently when I met *Dave.

From the very beginning Dave seemed different to the other men I had met or spoken with through these sites. I had hoped that this difference would be positive but later I’d come to realise that they were red flags.

For those who aren’t familiar, the term a salt daddy is a man who fakes being a sugar daddy to meet girls and usually to try and get them into bed.

While I’d heard of salt daddies, I had never met one myself or known any other women who had been conned by one. It almost seemed like an urban legend in the arrangement world, a caution to keep your eyes open.

Unfortunately for me this warning didn’t work, and not only did I meet a salt daddy, I was well and truly fooled by him.

The term ‘salt daddy’ is a man who fakes being a sugar daddy to meet girls and have sex with them. Picture: Supplied

For around two months Dave and I only spoke online or on the phone. From this and the information he shared I knew that in his late 30s, he was younger than the other sugar daddies I had had before.

The other thing that set Dave apart from the other men was that he spoke a lot more about his money.

He would mention big purchases he was making and places he’d holidayed in the past but none of these things were in any of his profile images.

When I asked him how he became wealthy he told me he was a lawyer. Usually sugar daddies come from wealth, their work may add to it, but it isn’t their only stream. So, while hearing that Dave was a lawyer was believable, I did wonder how he could afford some of these expensive cars, boats and investments he told me he had purchased.

He also asked me a lot about sex. More than any of the other men. Questions about my sexual experience, fantasies and quite often other topics would somehow morph into something to do with sex.

After a handful of failed attempts to meet, Dave and I finally had dinner at a hatted restaurant that I had suggested in the city.

When I arrived, he was already waiting at the table. When I approached him, I could tell straight away that something seemed off.

The woman later discovered that ‘Dave’ was not even ‘Dave’. Picture: ThinkStock/Getty Images

His shirt and pants were cheap and not really suitable for the venue we were in. Then throughout the dinner it became even more clear that he was out of his comfort zone because he didn’t know how to order the style of menu and was unfamiliar with the wine and food offerings. Then at the end, he even asked to split the bill.

Despite all of this, I dismissed my instincts and put Dave’s behaviour down to nerves.

After dinner, Dave asked to come back to my house because his place was having renovations. I said yes and we had sex together.

A few days later I called Dave and suggested we confirm our arrangement (when an agreement is made regarding payment and the relationship terms), something I usually do before having sex with my sugar daddy. But instead of working out specifics, Dave told me that he didn’t have time to see me anymore, that this was the end.

This is when I realised that I had been duped. He wasn’t a sugar daddy at all, he was a fake.

After some digging, I found out that Dave was not a lawyer, he wasn’t wealthy, and his name wasn’t even Dave.

While the experience left me feeling used and angry, I haven’t stopped looking for my perfect sugar daddy, I just make sure to take care of business first.

Shona Hendley is a freelance writer and ex-secondary school teacher. You can follow her on Instagram here.

This article originally appeared in Body + Soul and has been reproduced with permission.

Originally published as ‘I was duped by a sugar daddy’