Mel Buttle’s winter cold remedy tips for busy mums with toddlers

Chomping down zinc tablets, putting onions in your socks and eating Frosty – Mel Buttle on the weirdest and wackiest cold remedies.

Mel Buttle knows how to shake off a cold.

‘Have you rubbed Vicks on your feet?”, I hadn’t, and the sceptic in me did wonder how the nostril clearing, unmistakeable scent of Vicks would waft up to my face from down there.

However, when a mum tells you to do something to fix your cold, you do it.

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I’ve heard it all this week, from zinc tablets to steaming it out, but perhaps the most wild suggestion was half an onion on my bedside table.

I don’t know if it worked, but I woke up to find that my room smelled like the early stages of a risotto.

Not entirely unpleasant to be honest. Another mum friend took that a step further and suggested I put the onion in my socks overnight.

I’ve had this cold for ages, so I of course gave it a go. I’m still not better, but I’ve got a new-found respect for onions.

I’m not new to being sick, it felt like I was constantly dealing with an ailment as a child.

I had a blocked tear duct which meant instead of the tears draining away under the eye, my excess tears would roll down my cheek almost non stop.

Which meant I had a barrage of teachers asking me if I was OK all day long. I could tell they didn’t quite believe my answer either as they’d walk away confused about if I was actually upset, or if I wasn’t sad, how on earth a six-year-old knew what a tear duct was.

Of course, my weepy eye drew the attention of my far less tactful classmates who’d say, “are you crying?”

It’s very hard to deny that you’re crying when in fact one of your eyes is leaking tears down your face all day long.

Mel Buttle.

This tear duct issue, was eventually fixed up via an operation, I don’t remember much of the procedure, apart from that I was treated to a cheeseburger on the way home and it was the first time I’d heard an Irish accent. It belonged to a nurse who looked after me, she asked me if I’d done a poo that day, and I couldn’t believe what was happening.

Firstly that she sounded like her voice was running up and down a hill as she spoke, and secondly that something as top secret as what happens in the toilet would be up for discussion.

Speaking of sympathy cheeseburgers, when I’m sick there’s a few foods that I just have to have, it can be the depths of winter and I’ll still want a Frosty Fruit to soothe what ails me.

Respiratory infection. Frosty Fruit. Broken arm. Frosty Fruit. Wisdom teeth removed, melted Frosty Fruit and a straw.

The other is also not going to blow you away either, it’s a baked potato with baked beans and grated cheese.

The recipe is simple, put a potato in the oven, while you nap, have a hot bath, or lay on the floor and tell yourself when you’re better you’ll clean under the couch.

Once time has passed, heat up baked beans, cut the potato into quarters, and chuck on enough shredded cheese and butter to make the Heart Foundation wince.

Kids are sharing lots of germs this winter season.

Eat from a bowl, horizontally, watching something from the 1990s – may I recommend All Saints. You might even pick up some self care tips.

It’s no wonder that so many mums have cold remedies, as it’s hard yakka being sick with a toddler.

They have no interest at all in watching The Golden Girls with you on the couch, and what’s worse, they don’t care that the banging of their monster truck on a saucepan is making your headache worse.

Also, if you interrupt the banging, then they’ll stop and you’ll have to entertain them. Although noisy, it’s technically independent play. Toddlers can be asleep, or a handful, those are the two settings they come with.

I’ve been unwell for a while now, but I won’t be bothering a doctor, why would I when I’ve got a perfectly good bag of onions in the fridge.