Why I’m having a hot girl summer: Frances Whiting

Want to know how to have a #hotgirlsummer? Frances Whiting has all the tips.

Columnist Frances Whiting at her desk. Picture: Tara Croser

I’m having a Hot Girl Summer!

Now, if you don’t know what this means, this is because you are not across what’s hot in the same way I am.

If you were, you would know that Hot Girl Summer is a term originally coined by Megan Thee Stallion, who is an American singer and rapper and not, as my friend Roxanne mistakenly thought, a horse. She had misheard the name as Megan the Stallion, and was subsequently laughed out of her own house by her teenaged children.

But back to Hot Girl Summer, which was the title of a hit song Megan Thee Stallion released with Nikki Minaj in 2019. It became an anthem for Hot Girls everywhere, and is still going strong five summers later.

Megan Thee Stallion. Picture: Rich Fury/Getty Images for Billboard

Basically to have a Hot Girl Summer, you have to feel confident in your own body, wear whatever the hell you want to wear, party all night, sleep all day, and post lots of selfies of you looking like a hot girl with all your hot girl friends.

You also have to go on Hot Girl Walks with these friends and post pictures of these outings, along with several hashtags, including #Hotgirlwalk #Hotgirlsummer #Hotties.

Now as it turns out, I am once again ahead of my time because I have been having my own Hot Girl Summer for about ten years now, and not only that, mine is all year around! And it’s completely contained in my own body!

That’s right, isn’t it my perimenopausal and menopausal lady friends? We are all permanently having a Hot Girl Summer, aren’t we? Because our body temperatures hover around the 40 degree mark all of the time. We are hot and we are flustered, aren’t we girls?

In fact, we also quite regularly break out into Hot Girl Sweats, which is when our body temperatures spike, our faces turn bright red, and very attractive beads of perspiration appear on our upper lips.

We are not just hot, we are smokin’ - in fact some of us are so hot we are in very real danger of spontaneous combustion.

And don’t talk to us about Hot Girl Walks, you will see we Menopausal Hot Girls strolling around every neighbourhood, often dragging our equally exhausted dogs behind us.

This is because these dogs are old, like us, we got them as a present for our children years ago, and we are still the only ones walking them.

These young girls could learn a lot from us, Fran Whiting writes.

We will be also be walking in clothes that are the embodiment of the Hot Girl code of wearing whatever the hell we want to - mostly this translates as us wearing oversize Tshirts and a pair of shorts we just dug out of the laundry basket, a pair of old sneakers and our hair in some sort of bun arrangement.

Will we look hot? How can you even ask? My friend Patricia is so hot she even has to carry a little hand held fan with her wherever she goes. Honestly, these young girls could learn a lot from us - mostly what their future is going to look like.

In the meantime, I hope they all really do enjoy this summer, I hope they frolic in bikinis while they can and don’t even know what control panel swimwear is.

Fran Loves: I was recently sent a gift pack of a new, Australian made product Sunset Daze, best described as liquid drops of bronzer you mix with your moisturiser. You know that Golden Hour glow? Well, this product gives it to you - people kept asking if I’d been on holiday!