What your star sign would be if you were a dog: Nikki Osborne

Astrology can provide many pointers in life so I’m going to tell you what your star sign would be if you were a canine, writes Nikki Osborne

A corgi puppy

Astrology has been around for thousands of years, and yet it is something that is fast to provoke the naysayers. Usually men. Who fish.

I mention them in particular because out of anyone, they’re also the first people to track the moon and tides. Why? Because they affect the fish. It makes me laugh that they believe the planets affect fish yet have no bearing on humans who are 60 per cent water.

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Many royal families and political leaders have used astrologers to help plan ahead. Perhaps Japan could have used astrology for its Olympic timings, because on both occasions Uranus was in the sign of Taurus, and twice they had to cancel, due to World War II and Covid.

Enough of all this seriousness. Now I’m going to tell you what your star sign would be if you were a dog.

●AriesGerman shepherd: Fiercely loyal and protective, but tend to bark first and ask questions later, which gives them a bad rap. People also tend to cross the road to avoid an angry Aries.

German Shepherd

●TaurusBulldog: Taureans are the most stubborn of the zodiac and won’t budge – like, ever. Like a bulldog, they love their food.

● Gemini Corgi: You like the finer things in life. You’re always happy to sit down for a cup of tea and some good conversation. You like nice things and have a slight royalty complex. You’re a delegator.

●CancerGolden retriever: You’re all heart and feels and a massive sook. You love to come out for a play but what you love most is being surrounded by family and snacks at home.

Golden retrievers.

●LeoPomeranian: Just like a pom, you’re loyal and well groomed and walk around like you’re top shit.

●VirgoLabrador: You’re the carer. You’re always happy to see people and make them feel welcome. You’re quite bossy, though. If people try to go in a direction you don’t like, you’ll boof them with your bum.

●Libra Kelpie: Friends are like sheep to you, and you spend all hours collecting them, rounding them up and checking on them. However, you often find you’re so busy running around you don’t actually get to spend any quality time with them. And you’re exhausted. Settle down.

●ScorpioTerrier: You’re super social and very popular but everyone needs to watch their step, because if they catch you in a bad mood, you’ll grab them like a field mouse and savage them to death without thinking. Then you feel bad because it’s just your nature.

A beagle.

● Sagittarius Beagle You don’t get worried about much. So long as there’s good company and good food, you’ll show up. However, you do tend to go walkabout without any regard to the worry you might be causing. Why? You’re a beagle. You don’t give a shit.

●CapricornWolf: You don’t need anybody. You’re on a mission and you can do it on your own. If anyone gets in your way, you’ll probably eat them.

●AquariusHusky: Aquarians are usually quite attractive and they have a depth and magnetism that draws you in. However, once they’ve got you, you realise they’re from another planet and completely mental – in a fun way.

● Pisces Groodle: You’re a big softie but very good at being aloof. You win people over, but then you break free of your leash and run into the sunset, forgetting your name and how to cross traffic.