‘There’s never been a more exhausting time to raise kids’: Kendall Gilding on book week madness

Just when you think you’ve got everything under control as a parent, this Book Week thing comes along and it’s a whole different beast.

Kendall Gilding with her daughter Olive. Picture: Jamie Hanson

There’s never been a more exhausting time to be raising kids! I mean no disrespect to my parents, their parents or any previous generation, and I’m not trying to pick a fight, it’s not a competition. There’s no leaderboard for “we had it harder”. It’s more like a race to the bottom, as parents struggle to survive.

I recently completed my first Book Week. Sure we’ve dabbled in costumes during our years at daycare, but it was as easy as pulling an Emma Wiggle costume out of the drawer and throwing it on. Once you hit school – it’s a totally different beast!

Whoever created this now institutionalised celebration across our country – I’ve got some feedback!

Kendall Gilding with her daughter Olive. Picture: Jamie Hanson

I’m not the kind of parent who can sew, do craft, or has any desire to spend late nights assembling an outfit that my child will wear for one day. I admire these people greatly! Instead, I have to throw money at the problem, in an attempt to fill my skills gap and still leave my child feeling like I care.

So I jump online to order a costume – the only one I can find is $75. What is this madness? Did capitalism dream up Book Week?

The big day arrives – my daughter is dressed, shoes on, hair done and armed with her book.

We’ve done it! We’ve successfully made her feel confident, and possibly sparked a love of the written word? (Lofty hopes, but a mum can dream!)

What I wasn’t prepared for was the way it would make me feel – because the joy she radiates is infectious! Maybe there’s something to this whole Book Week thing?

We get to school and the wind is quickly taken out of my sails.

The level of effort by other parents and children puts me to shame. After all these years, and despite being a mature adult – I still feel the sting of inadequacy.

Compounding my shame is the internet.

Kendall Gilding with son Moses. Picture: Tara Croser

Social media slaps me in the face for weeks with a constant stream of photos of kids dressed as their favourite character.

Full face paint, hair sculpted into quirky shapes, a 12-hour craft masterpiece, home-sewn costumes, a level of effort I could only dream of!

And so begins another guilt trip for parents who didn’t wake up at 4am to start an elaborate unicorn makeup job on their four-year-old’s face.

You used to only be able to brag to your friends about your hard work. Now you can brag to the whole world with a simple Instagram or Facebook post.

And while no one posts photos to make others feel bad, it inadvertently starts a competitive war, that none of us signed up to. It raises the stakes on what’s expected of every parent.

I don’t know about you – but the simple aspects of getting a child ready each day are already a big enough battle for me.

I spend hours every week making lunch boxes. Gone are the days when you could shove a sandwich and apple into a brown paper bag.

Now we have bento boxes – perfectly divided compartments to separate their food. The lunch must be healthy, or you risk a note home from their educator.

But you also want your child to actually eat it.

Kendall Gilding. Picture: Laz Smith

“I hate tomato, Mum!” Last week she said it was her favourite food. I can’t keep up!

Then there’s clean uniforms, a nutritious breakfast, hair tied up, and the never ending mystery of where all the socks disappear to?

When another theme or dress-up day turns up on the calendar it’s enough to break me!

My parent’s generation raised us with a “tough love” approach. I caught the bus to school from five years old and made my own lunch from grade 2.

We’d never dream of making a child do those things now. That’s because after “tough love” came “helicopter parents”. An approach that aims to hover close by and attempt to prevent kids from having any bad experiences.

Regardless of parenting style, most of us are trying our hardest to love our children and raise them into well-rounded, independent adults.

While I begrudge Book Week, I see its merit. It’s not lost on me that its aim is to encourage reading. If you’re seeing these words – you are in fact reading! As a journalist the beat of my heart is storytelling, in any and every form, which includes books!

What terrifies me is the realisation that my child is only five and I’m facing another 15 years of these antics! The secret, I’m told, is preparation.

So I’ll add ANOTHER reminder to my diary and try to do better next year.