Metro Arts review: The Bull, The Moon and The Coronet of Stars

When two people got up and left the theatre, it seemed they found the heady mix of sex and mythology a tad too much. But they were up to something far more inexcusable.

Memo to anyone attending the theatre – if you need to do a wee go before the play begins and not in the middle of it.

On opening night of Van Badham’s play The Bull, The Moon and The Coronet of Stars at Metro Arts on Friday night it was a case of play interruptus when a young couple down the front both took a loo break – one at a time.

In a small theatre, watching a play that it essentially a two hander (although there is a muso on stage too) it is pretty well unforgivable to disturb the proceedings in that way. Maybe don‘t drink a huge glass of beer during the play – how’s that for an idea?

The Hive Collective

I don‘t know, maybe they had weak whizzers, whatever, but this is a trend I have noticed recently. Many times at QPAC I have seen people get up, go for a pee and then return, clumping down the stairs. Not so bad in a full auditorium at QPAC, terrible at the funky New Benner Theatre at Metro Arts which has moved from the CBD to West Village at West End. Their new premises is amazing and has a nice little courtyard and a bar for pre and post drinks.

The new theatre is very compact and perfect for independent productions such as this one which is on until next weekend. It is presented by The Hive Collective in conjunction with Metro Arts and is the first of three plays this outfit is bringing us in quick succession – the first two delving into Greek mythology.

Sarah Ogden and Rob Pensalfini in The Bull, The Moon and The Coronet Of Stars: Picture: Stephen Henry

This first one was good in parts but basically I would have cut it in half and ditched most of the second half. I think most things I see at the theatre nowadays could do with some radical and judicious trimming.

Having said that I was certainly intrigued by this intelligent and at times racy play about love and sex and gender and mythology.

The mythology creeps into it which is appropriate since the opening scenes are set in a museum where Marion (an artist), played by Sarah Ogden and Michael (a PR guy), played by Rob Pensalfini, both work and are stalked by a beast of some sort. Turns out to be a Minotaur (well it is a museum) and for her sins Marion is ravaged by it at one stage although she does seem to enjoy that. That may be a bridge too far for some folks and I must admit I was glad when it was over. But I did enjoy the mythological references and imaginative leaps.

This is independent theatre and it’s meant to be risky. Picture: Stephen Henry

There is musical accompaniment to all this supplied by Shenzo Gregorio whose original music is a real treat in this rather racy piece directed by Heidi Manche.

The performances are excellent and, as I said, I loved the first half but once Marion leaves the museum and holes up at a seaside village in Wales, regretting her fling with the married Michael, it loses me.

Michael turns into Mark, a loathsome Lothario and ockerish Australian waiter who seeks to seduce Marion and anything else that moves. Mark is such a creep that he’s quite funny at times in the same way that Sir Les Patterson is.

This is independent theatre and it’s meant to be risky but the riskiness just went on for too long in the end.

You might want to make up your own mind about that and check out the new Metro Arts in the process.

But please, if you’re going, empty your bladder before the show, not during it.