‘I’ve given up now I’m 50’: Max Futcher on the trend older men should forget about

When it comes to getting older there’s one trend men should definitely steer clear of, writes Max Futcher.

I have reached the End of Fashion. To be honest, I probably arrived about a decade ago, but I’m only realising it now. Of course, I wear a suit and tie for my day job, but the talented staff in the wardrobe department choose them for me. When it comes to casual-wear, I’ve reached my destination.

There was a time in the ’90s when I kept up with the latest looks.

There were acid-wash jeans, then marble wash, followed by horrendous baggy things that looked like cowboy chaps.

There was a saggy, boot-cut jeans stage through the early noughties, and then skinny jeans that were as uncomfortable as they looked.

I avoided the whole low-rider thing, and about 10 years ago settled into some slimline, tailored pants and jeans that seem to allow me to disappear into the crowd without any controversy.

Since then, the latest styles are veering back towards baggy pants again, but I’m not budging.

Like most men eventually do, I think I’ve arrived at the style which I shall wear for the rest of my life, or until someone else is dressing me.

There’s no point trying to keep up anymore. No one wants to see a 50-year-old bloke in the latest looks.

A super-tight T-shirt will reveal things I don’t want seen, and the latest super-short shorts make me feel weird, like I need to start tanning my pale thighs.

So here I am, at the end of fashion, and it’s really not that bad.

Channel 7's Max Futcher on his questionable fashion choices. Picture: Tara Croser.

These days, I treat my clothes a bit like a uniform. At night or in cooler weather, there are the aforementioned slim jeans with RM Williams boots and button-up shirt.

In warmer weather there’s a polo shirt or T-shirt with mid-length shorts, sneakers or deck shoes. And that’s it! Functional. Conventional. Effective. Inoffensive.

I don’t have to think about what to wear; I just put on the uniform and get on with it. I no longer spend time wandering clothes stores, searching for a fresh look.

Now, I can simply order the pants, shorts and shirts online and they arrive ready to wear.

I know the size. I know the style. There are no big logos, no juvenile slogans, and unless I’m off to a themed party, no garish floral prints.

In younger days, my fashion pursuits were closely tied to the hope of impressing the opposite sex, but with a wife and two daughters, that campaign appears to have run its course.

I think they’re also comfortable with my reliable clothing choices. I’m not about to start embarrassing them by wearing some flamboyant pastel suit.

As someone with colour-blindness, I rely on them if I do transgress. A simple “that doesn’t work” and I quickly change.

Take a look at most men over 40, and you can tell when they decided to stop their fashion journey.

For my dad, it was that phase in the 1990s when Colorado was huge. He still loves that stuff, and he totally rocks it.

I’ve got a mate who found Crocs and wraparound sunglasses years ago and hasn’t looked back.

Sometimes, when I wear my summer uniform to the local surf club, I see fellows who are persisting with their fashion journey.

There are loud shirts, a checked blazer and scarf worn with skimpy shorts. Then there’s another bloke wearing dress shoes with no socks.

In my eyes, they seem a bit old for all that clobber, but they’re still searching for their destination, so carry on, I say. (Although maybe give that strange fedora hat a miss.)

Some will call my approach “Dad Fashion”, while others will say I’ve given up, but I say I’ve finally found what I was after, and it fits me just fine.