Queensland health experts on worrying trend of under 12s with suicidal thoughts

Australia’s parents are being met with scary new threats as our youth try to navigate fresh challenges.

Suicide is the leading cause of death for Queensland children aged 10 to 14 for the first time over a five-year period

One night not so long ago, Jenny was sitting around the dinner table with her husband and two children in their inner-Brisbane home.

It had been an emotional day at school for her son William*, eight, and she could tell he was tired.

When she asked him to finish eating his dinner and put his plate in the sink, he unravelled and told her he wanted to die.

On the other end of the phone, recalling that painful night, Jenny starts to cry.

“The first instinct that came to me was to kind of discount it, or attribute it to something really simple, like you just don’t want to do what I’m asking you to do. My first response was, ‘Don’t say that, don’t speak like that,’” she says.

It would be the first of many times William would say the words that strike fear into the hearts of parents the world over. “They vary between ‘I want to die’, ‘I don’t want to be here anymore’, ‘I just want to kill myself’. It’s so scary to hear your child say those words,” Jenny says.

William, who has Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), is one of the growing number of young children in Australia experiencing suicidal thoughts.

At last count, in 2015, the Australian Child and Adolescent Survey of Mental Health and Wellbeing found one in every seven children in Australia aged four to 11 experienced a mental health condition, with ADHD and anxiety disorders the most common.

Mental health professionals and organisations across the country, however, have noticed a marked increase in the number of young children needing help since then.

Rebecca started having suicidal thought at the age of eight.

Rebecca*, 21, can remember feeling a lot of distress from around the age of four or five both at home and at school.

Growing up in Brisbane in a wealthy household with a nuclear family and going to a private school did little to protect her from the mental health struggles she would endure. On the outside Rebecca’s life looked good, but on the inside she was in turmoil.

“I was one of those fortunate people who did really well at school,” she says.

“I had the capacity to retain information and I was a goody-two-shoes. I did everything by the book. But even at the age of four I’d be crying and hitting myself because I couldn’t get myself changed and ready in the car in time and other things like that. I struggled with a lot of executive functioning, managing emotions and socially in how I thought others thought of me. It all increased over the years.

“I felt like I couldn’t speak to anyone about what was going on. No one would listen to what was going on, so I internalised a lot of it.”

At age eight, Rebecca started having suicidal thoughts. When she turned 10, they started ramping up. Between the ages of 12 and 18 she made several suicide attempts.

“All of my feelings, all of my thoughts, all of this negative thinking about how I view myself, I held it all in for way, way too long … I kept getting intrusive thoughts like ‘no one wants you here, you should do this’,” she says.

Rebecca says psychiatric care and a formal diagnosis have helped her to feel better.

Things are better these days. After being diagnosed with ADHD and obsessive-compulsive disorder as a teenager, experiencing an eating disorder, spending time in hospital and receiving psychiatric care, Rebecca has gained a better understanding of the thoughts, feelings, behaviours and conditions that have contributed to her suffering.

She is now studying a Bachelor of Psychology at university and has been able to speak more openly with her parents about growing up in a household where she often felt dismissed and unable to express her feelings. Had things been different, she can’t help but wonder if life might have been easier.

“At the time they didn’t know how to respond so they minimised the distress I was feeling,” she says.

“They didn’t really want to have it be this big scary thing because they didn’t know what to do about it. A lot of it was shut down.’’

In March, Wesley Mission Queensland launched a new campaign called Just Listen.

Aimed at raising awareness around how important it is for parents and caregivers to “listen, just listen” to young children under 12 when they are feeling distressed, it hopes to address a growing problem in this often overlooked age group.

In 2021, the National Children’s Mental Health and Wellbeing Strategy noted “The family environment is the single most important influence on a child’s development, with family relationships and interactions critical to positive mental health and wellbeing.”

Emma Ashe, general manager for Wesley Mission Queensland’s Mental Health Services.

Over the past 18 months, Emma Ashe, general manager for Wesley Mission Queensland’s Mental Health Services, says they’ve been focused on developing practical solutions to support parents, caregivers and children.

“Increasingly in our practice we’re hearing kids under 12 sharing really distressing thoughts like they wish they weren’t here, they wish they were dead ... we really wanted to understand what the problem is at the core and support our community to respond to this,” she says.

It is a common myth that mental health problems only affect children with troubled or traumatic pasts.

While the rates of mental illness in children from vulnerable groups, non-metropolitan areas and disadvantaged backgrounds are significantly higher, recent findings in the United States, including the 2019 report Vibrant and Healthy Kids by the National Academies of Sciences, Engineering and Medicine, have also identified strong links between youth mental illness and high-achieving schools that pressure children to excel.

“Mental health problems affect children from all socio-economic backgrounds,” Ashe says.

“Parents in 2024 have got a lot going on and their attention is being pulled in a million different directions.

Parents need to take their child’s distress seriously and listen to and validate their concerns.

“What we’re trying to say to parents is it’s not that you’re doing the wrong thing, but there is an opportunity here. The distress your child is expressing is real and it is important to pause, listen, validate and support them. If we can intervene early it’s not going to build to something that ends up at the hospital.”

Suicide is the leading cause of death for Queensland children aged 10 to 14 for the first time over a five-year period.

The Deaths of Children and Young People Queensland 2022-23 report found 9383 ambulance callouts occurred for suicidal behaviour and self-harm related incidents involving children aged five to 17.

Of these, 3963 were for children aged 10 to 14 and 162 were for children aged just five to nine. Tragically, 20 deaths by suicide occurred in Queensland children aged 17 and under in both 2021-2022 and 2022-2023.

Although lower than the high numbers recorded in 2018-19 (37) and 2020-2021 (30), over time there has been an increasing trend in youth suicide rates, up 1.9 per cent per year on average from 2004 to 2023.

No one knows for sure what has been driving the steady rise in childhood mental illness and suicide in the new millennium. Research in this area is curiously scarce.

James Scott, professor of child and youth psychiatry at the University of Queensland’s Child Health Research Centre. Picture: Liam Kidston

James Scott, professor of child and youth psychiatry at the University of Queensland’s Child Health Research Centre has a few hunches.

“The prevalence of mental illness and self-harm and suicide attempts was relatively stable until the turn of the century. In the past 20 years it’s taken off,” he says.

“You get back to thinking, what has changed in the population?

“Obviously there is the influence of screen-time and social media, and alongside that there has been a rise in consumerism and the need to achieve more and do more.

“Then there are issues around everyone being so busy.”

Having practised medicine since the 1990s, Scott says he’s never seen families as stressed as they are now.

“That has really changed,” he says.

“People just don’t have time to spend together and do things and every family I see is struggling with this. There is this confluence of social factors and I think the children are bearing the symptoms of this widespread societal stress.”

Scott recently completed three surveys into the prevalence of mental health disorders in
low and middle-income countries including Kenya, Indonesia and Vietnam, which will soon be published in leading scientific journal The Lancet.

The material offers some sobering findings.

“In terms of things like suicidality and depression, they’ve got a fraction of the prevalence to what we have here in Australia,” he says. “We’re seeing the same trend in high income countries across the world.

“There is something going on at a societal level that we haven’t come to terms with and I think children are paying a high price.

“When children shift to talking about being suicidal, they’ve got a high level of distress, they’re feeling overwhelmed and hopeless and possibly isolated as well.

“The best way to address suicidality is by providing emotional support and listening and helping little children problem solve.”

A lot of mental health focus is going to children under 12.

Where youth mental health services and campaigns previously focused primarily on adolescents, a lot of activity is now taking place across health departments and providers to help children under 12.

Following recommendations put forward in the National Children’s Mental Health and Wellbeing Strategy, two new Head to Health Kids Hubs funded by the federal government will officially open in Brisbane and the Gold Coast later this year.

Dr Stephen Stathis, child and youth clinical adviser at Queensland Health, has been closely involved in setting up the new hubs which will take a family-centred approach.

“For those who have kids who are struggling, we can organise a family session and from there we may organise assessments and brief interventions and provide warm referrals to other service providers within the community,” he says.

As part of the state government’s Better Care Together plan, Queensland’s first integrated peri-natal mental health centre, Catherine’s House, is now up and running to help mothers and babies from the get-go, while its Ed-LinQ program in schools and Evolve Therapeutic Services provide early interventions.

Meanwhile, the federal government is set to open a tender for a major new survey into the prevalence of child and youth mental illness in Australia. Industry leaders, however, say much more needs to be done.

Beyond Blue, Black Dog Institute and Smiling Mind are among the organisations that have called for the National Children’s Mental Health and Wellbeing Strategy to be fully funded and implemented.

The strategy highlights the need for a whole-of-community approach to improve children’s mental health including the service system, education settings, evidence and evaluation and most importantly, families.

After learning more about how to help William when he is feeling distressed, Jenny is feeling much more hopeful.

“We’ve definitely changed the way we operate at home to try and reduce anxiety and stress and make us all work better together, “ she says.
“The most important thing is to not shut down those emotions, be open to talking about it and to really just listen.”

It almost seems too simple. And yet the effect could save a beautiful life.
*Names changed for privacy

Health experts say put distractions aside and listen to your children without judgment.

Tips for listening

1. Put distractions aside

2. Make eye contact

3. Body language – avoid crossing your arms or legs

4. Listen to non-verbal cues

5. Listen without judgment or jumping to conclusions

6. Don’t start planning what to say next – just listen

7. Ask open-ended questions

8. Don’t push your ideas or solutions

9. Listening can happen anywhere

10. Avoid finishing sentences for your child

11. Ask your child what help they’d like

12. Check in with your child after your discussion

If you need help

For more info visit wmq.org.au/just-listen

If you or a loved one needs help, please contact one of the following support services: Kids Helpline, 1800 55 1800, kidshelpline.com.au; Lifeline, call 13 11 14 or text 0477 13 11 14, lifeline.org.au; Suicide Callback Service, 1300 659 467, suicidecallbackservice.org.au; Beyond Blue, 1300 224 636, beyondblue.com.au

Source: Wesley Mission Queensland