Frances Whiting reveals the small things that annoy us way more than they should

“Often it’s not these big things that tip us over the edge, is it?,” writes Frances Whiting revealing the small things that annoy her the most.

Life’s pendulum has not swung my way lately. I’ve had a few health issues, nothing major, some friends are going through a particularly tough time, and someone I love dearly has just lost someone they love dearly.

But as Malcolm Fraser said all those years ago, “Life Wasn’t Meant to be Easy”. Also Ronan Keating when he said “Life is a Rollercoaster, Just Gotta Ride it”.

The thing is, often it’s not these big things that tip us over the edge, is it?

No, you’re going along quite well, handling all your troubles with some level of aplomb, and then your handbag strap gets caught on a door, and you completely lose your mind.

And may I take this opportunity to apologise to the woman walking her dog outside my house yesterday who had to witness me tangled up in my own handbag and repeatedly shouting
“F@$%k You” at my front door?

Frances Whiting shares the small things that annoy her the most.

It was the proverbial straw that broke the camel’s back, and later as I ruminated on my behaviour, I realised that life is full of little irritants, isn’t it?

Things that are, on balance, really nothing at all, but presented in the right – or more accurately wrong – moment make us disproportionately angry.

These are mine. Feel free to write and tell me yours.

● The very small writing on shampoo and conditioner bottles. The Directions for Use font on these bottles is almost impossible to see. I don’t know why. Is it a secret? No one can read them; it could say the aforementioned “F@$%k You” on there for all any of us know.

● The very long preamble some people feel compelled to give when sharing their recipes on the internet. “I was born in a small town in Croatia where my parents ran the local bakery and where every summer my cousins and I would play in the orchard, running through the trees barefoot and sometimes throwing fruit at each other” You know what? We don’t care, we just want your chocolate brownie recipe.

Frances Whiting’s checklist of mildly annoying things that annoy us but shouldn’t. Picture: Tara Croser.

● Stupid companies that don’t share their stupid telephone numbers any more in case they accidentally answer the phone and help you. I am so tired of filling out emails asking for all my details and what I am inquiring about. You know what I’m inquiring about? I’M INQUIRING ABOUT WHY YOU CAN’T JUST PICK UP THE PHONE, GOD DAMN YOU.

● I think we all know how I feel about the self-serve check-outs at supermarkets – please refer to my previous column devoted to this topic – but now they have put cameras on them, so the security detail can see how I feel about them too. It’s all getting a bit “Big Brother is watching you”, isn’t it? As my friend Miriam said: “You know I never have before, but those cameras are making me want to shoplift.”

● Get Ready With Me posts on Instagram. Look, I know many people love them, but I honestly cannot see the point. Also I do not believe the majority of these influencers are telling the truth at all. I believe that if they were telling the truth the posts would mostly just be people standing in front of their wardrobe shouting, “I hate everything I own.”

Right, that’s a good starter list, over to you if you feel like a moan.