‘Finally back in my life’: Mel Buttle on the must-have for all Queenslanders

I’ve relied on airconditioning, ceiling fans, cold showers and Frosty Fruits to get through summer but there’s one thing that trumps them all.

There’s a saying that you’ll never regret a swim, and on the whole that rings true. Apart from a once-off, during a childhood swimming lesson, where I went full show pony mode and dived in too deeply and scraped my nose on the bottom of the pool. That tale aside, I’d have to agree that a swim, much like a cup of tea, is good for what ails you.

For those wondering, yes, the nose scrape hurt, it bled. However, I wasn’t about to be humiliated in front of the big kids at swimming club, some of them owned Tamagotchis and even Reebok Pumps, so I had to keep it very cool.

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The coach bent down to me poolside and said: “Did you hit your nose on the bottom of the pool?” I decided that denial and distraction were the best ways to solve this issue.

“No, I wasn’t anywhere near the bottom, but I’m just going to get out and go to the toilet now,” I replied. Problem solved. Well done, nine-year-old logic, you’ve won that round.

I grew up with a pool. On hot summer days, pool-less family members would drop by to catch up, or call to see if we happened to be home and before you knew it, a pool party would break out.

Eating in the pool was strictly forbidden, unless, of course, people were over, then Mum would serve watermelon out of a Tupperware container to the swimmers and poolside loungers.

It blew my tiny mind, this must be how the rich and famous live. Being handed watermelon and icy poles in between rounds of marco polo. I wonder if the celebs also threw their watermelon rinds into the garden to rot, covered in ants over the coming weeks?

However, my duck diving days ended when I was 13 and we moved to a house that wasn’t blessed, or some might say burdened, with a pool. Since then, I’ve relied on airconditioning, ceiling fans, cold showers and Frosty Fruits to survive summer. That was until now.

I’m lucky enough to be back in the pool party hosting game. A pool is a great centrepiece for a summer gathering. However, in winter, it’s a big, useless hole in your back yard full of leaves, that gives you nothing back.

Summer pool action

Back to the good times though, something happens to me when I’m in the pool and others are still undecided if they’re going to come in. I get super persuasive, I make it my mission to convert landlubbers into water adorers.

Maybe it’s too much chlorine to the brain, but once I’m in the pool, I’ve got an answer to the common objections non-swimmers put up.

Let’s start off with the most obvious one your average non-swimmer might throw out: “It’s too cold for me today.” This statement often comes after a half-hearted toe dip.

Don’t worry though, fellow pool fanatics, I’ve got the perfect retort: “Once you’re in, it’s actually quite nice. You’re right, it’s a bit cold at first, but then it’s lovely,” I reply from my post at the shallow end.

You’ll note that I didn’t totally dismiss their feeling that the pool is cold because, let’s be honest, it is cold, but shhh, let’s keep that between us. Sometimes the aforementioned, plus dropping a few enthusiastic “come in, it’s fun, just get in, it’s really refreshing” is enough, to convert a chair dweller to a swimmer.

Mel Buttle

You’ll know they’re softening when they start saying things like: “I can’t get my hair wet.” That’s a simple one, swimming cap, genuine promises to not splash them. Easy, done.

If the debate moves to swimwear, then you’re done for, that’s very hard to overcome, pending on your wardrobe and if that’s a match, size wise, for your reluctant guest. That’s when you might just have to accept, they’re not getting in the pool, and it’s time to woo them into being the classic catches judge.

Owning a pool comes with a lot of responsibilities, emptying the skimmer box, checking the chemicals and, of course, having chilled, sliced watermelon ready to go. I’m glad that I’ve finally got a pool back in my life after all these years. Only a few items are now outstanding on my list for me to feel complete. I just need a Tamagotchi and a pair of Reebok Pumps.