Cancer to miracle baby: Inside story of Ofa’s baby Bronco
After a terrifying cancer battle at the age of 23, Sofi Leota opens up about her miracle baby Mila with Broncos Joe Ofahengaue, and reveals what she learnt about Ofa when they became parents.
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Sofi Leota had resigned herself to the idea that she wouldn’t be able to have children naturally.
Two years ago, at the age of 23, Sofi was delivered the shocking news that she had Grade 3 breast cancer.
What followed were months and months of an arduous battle, including a mastectomy of her right breast, the removal of lymph nodes, multiple rounds of chemotherapy and radiation, and two rounds of IVF with her long-time partner and now-fiancé, Brisbane Broncos forward Joe Ofahengaue, to preserve her eggs.
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Even though doctors at the time told her the IVF was a “just in case” measure, a part of Sofi secretly believed it would be the only way she and Joe would ever be able to have kids.
It didn’t bother her too much. But it was a thought she had stored away. Until, on September 18 last year, two lines on a store-bought test told her otherwise. And a second test confirmed it. Sofi was pregnant, naturally, with her own little miracle.
“It wasn’t planned, it was very unexpected. I was very shocked,” a now 25-year-old Sofi says.
“Not only were we not expecting or actively aiming for that, but in the back of my mind I had a thought that it couldn’t happen for me anyway. It was too soon. I had only finished chemotherapy a year before that. I just did think it wasn’t possible. But I can and have fallen pregnant naturally. It was incredible … It took me a good day or so to come around and get over that shock and realise the blessing that it was. It was so special.”
On May 15, 2020, at 4.37pm, Mila Louise Ofahengaue arrived in the world, starting the family that Sofi and Joe had always dreamed of.
The pair met when they were practically babies themselves, falling in love as teenagers at Ipswich’s St Peter Claver College.
She was 16, he was 15 and, in the near-decade since, they have been through various ups and downs, including learning to deal with the harsh spotlight that comes with Joe being an elite athlete. He endured grand final heartbreak in 2015, has been under intense scrutiny for off-field misdemeanours and, most recently, felt the heat for Brisbane’s poor 2020 form.
Sofi has been by his side through it all – the wins, the losses, the State of Origin debut for Queensland and Tonga’s stunning victory over Australia on the international stage last year.
But nothing that they’ve witnessed or experienced in the rugby league world has been harder than Sofi’s breast cancer battle in 2018.
It’s a chapter in their story that has made their relationship what it is today.
“I’m playing for something more than just footy,” Joe said at the time. “I’m playing for my future and Sofi’s future as well.”
Sofi says Joe’s support and attitude have been constant throughout the past two years but have also helped their relationship develop in ways she could not have imagined.
“We were just thinking the other day about 15- and 16-year-old Sofi and Joe who met nine years ago,” she says. “The leaps and bounds our relationship has made in the last two years, it’s been incredible. We’re so close, so open.
“The relationship has really matured and we have a special bond. He’s definitely shown me his soft side in the last couple of years with everything we’ve gone through.”
In January, the couple became engaged, with Joe popping the question in front of their closest loved ones while they did their baby gender reveal. As pink smoke wafted down around them, he pulled the ring out of his back pocket and got down on one knee.
Getting married was something they had discussed many times before, but just two months prior they had agreed that they were in no hurry to get engaged.
Little did Sofi know, it was all part of Joe’s plan to pull off the ultimate surprise.
“We spoke about it while we were in the Cook Islands in November last year. We agreed that we were perfectly happy the way we were. I told him there was no pressure, I wasn’t waiting for a ring,” she says.
“At that time we had been together for eight and a half years so weren’t in a rush. Then he proposed in January. “It was such a beautiful moment. We’ve always watched proposals on YouTube and I would bawl my eyes out for every single one.
“He did such a good job. He’s never done anything romantic. The fact that I didn’t catch on, I give him a 10 out of 10 for that. I thought I would catch on for sure.
“As for the wedding, we just need to get through a year of parenting first. It will be such a magical day whenever it comes.
“We love a good party and we love bringing family and friends together and I love celebrating love so it will be really special. It’s a day I’ve dreamed of since I met Joe nine years ago.”
When Sofi was in the midst of her cancer fight two years ago, she revealed at the time that Joe did not even hesitate in agreeing to the two rounds of IVF. So it was also no surprise that when she told him she was pregnant, he was immediately over the moon.
While her initial shock took a few days to wear off, Joe’s excitement was palpable and he even let the news slip to a few Brisbane and Tongan teammates, including Broncos playmaker Anthony Milford.
Sofi says Joe has taken to fatherhood very naturally.
“Having Mila, I’ve somehow grown more appreciative of him and our relationship. Somehow I’ve seen another side to him that I’ve never known,” she says. “He’s a natural. I knew he would be … We’ve spoken about having our own family for a very long time. Mila’s the 10th grandchild on his side of the family. There’s plenty of nieces and nephews so he’s had plenty of practice.
“It’s really heartwarming to watch him with her … he’s so beautiful with her. The second he walks through the door, she stops crying. The minute he holds her, she’ll go to sleep. They have a real connection already. She really loves him. A real daddy’s girl.
“He’s so helpful, so supportive. He’s everything you could hope for in a dad. He’s been waiting for this day for a long time.”
Joe revealed this soft side in May, when he spoke about the birth of his daughter ahead of the NRL’s season relaunch. The season was postponed after two rounds in March due to the coronavirus pandemic. As he prepared to return to the field, he opened up on what his daughter meant to him.
“When my baby got here, I was just in shock (because) our lives changed at that moment,” Joe said. “I just feel like it’s my duty now to nurture her and be the best person I can. I’ll try and make her a better person than I was growing up. Someone a while ago said that you owe a great debt to your kids when you bring them into the world.
“It’s my duty to be the best person I can now because I’ve got a daughter who looks up to me. I have to do everything I can to be a good person for her.”
For Sofi, Mila’s arrival has been a dream.
She was told she was in remission in January 2019 and after everything her body went through in 2018 – the surgeries, the tests, the needles, the chemotherapy, the radiation and more – she spent 2019 giving back to herself.
Sofi lost over 15kg from April to August, started doing F45 fitness training, travelled, enjoyed time with friends and family, and worked hard to be healthy, physically and mentally.
While she still needs to see an oncologist every six months and have yearly scans, she says 2018 feels like a whole other lifetime and the arrival of Mila is the blessing for everything she endured.
“Cancer life seems distant now,” she says. “It’s not something I associate with daily anymore, which is an amazing thing. My body feels great and going through pregnancy is a whole different experience … a different journey to the cancer one. I had the dream pregnancy, I had the dream birth and the dream baby so far. The pregnancy was incredible.
“In the first trimester I probably had a week or so where I was a bit sick but otherwise there was no sickness, no nausea, no throwing up. I didn’t get heartburn and she came out with a full head of hair. I felt great physically. I didn’t even start showing until just after halfway. It definitely hasn’t scared me off having more. I have been told it’s Mother Nature’s way of tricking you into doing it again.
“But I like to think of it as my body’s way of thanking me and repaying me for everything I went through. It couldn’t have gone better.”
Sofi was induced on May 15 at 39 weeks after discovering two days beforehand that she was already 4cm dilated. The couple had planned for an induction the following week anyway, as Joe had faced the possibility of having to relocate elsewhere so the 2020 NRL season could continue in a world rocked by the coronavirus.
Sofi wanted him to spend time with Mila before he went away, but luckily the easing of restrictions and the NRL’s planning meant Joe was able to stay in Brisbane the whole time, only travelling for away games.
Mila arrived in a quick labour that had Sofi feeling like she had “won the lotto”. “I used to hear it all the time that kids are blessings and that the most rewarding thing you can do is be a parent and I truly feel that now,” she says.
“I really do understand why people say being a parent is the greatest job. As challenging as it’s been, all the happy moments and achievements, like starting to see her smile, it trumps the sleepless nights and the unproductive days where I stay in my pyjamas. It’s so worth it when you can just watch them.
“She’s such a blessing. Whether it’s good karma or the universe’s way of giving back, it’s hard to put into words what she means to me.”
And that is one of the biggest lessons Sofi has taken from her breast cancer battle – to count her blessings.
When asked in September 2018 what she had taken from her experience, Sofi was still searching for an answer. “When people go through something so crazy or difficult, they usually have a big epiphany,” she said at the time. “They say everything happens for a reason, so why was I chosen to go down this path? Maybe it is just me getting this story out there and raising awareness and telling chicks to feel their boobs … maybe I can help save someone’s life.”
Sofi has since done plenty of work to spread awareness of breast cancer.
From lending her voice to multiple campaigns, to using her social media profiles to remind women and men to check their breasts every month, Sofi is certainly doing her part.
She is currently an ambassador for ghd’s Take Control Now collection – with $20 from every limited edition hairdressing tool sold being donated to the National Breast Cancer Foundation – and is working to remind the world that cancer does not discriminate, no matter your age or gender.
“I want to put an emphasis on how important self-checking is for all women and all men of all ages,” she says. “That’s the main message and focus of my work.”
But outside of using her platform to spread awareness, the other important life lesson Sofi has taken from her experiences is to simply be grateful. From the roof over her head to her good health to her loving fiancé Joe and her beautiful daughter Mila, Sofi certainly knows she has much to be thankful for.
“I have 100 per cent taken lessons from everything I went through,” she says. “One of the main ones is being grateful for every day and what I have in my life in terms of friends, family, wealth, possessions, just everything I’ve got. It’s about appreciating it and not taking anything for granted. It’s about not dwelling on the shitty, boring, mundane things that life presents us with.
“I’ve made it such a priority to always have something good to focus on. It’s about counting the blessings I have around me already, not chasing more and just appreciating the good.”