Broken glass, medical emergency: When a restaurant review goes wrong

The staff at this inner-city French restaurant were put to the ultimate test when almost everything that could go wrong, went wrong.

The market fish at Herve's in Albion.

As a restaurant reviewer who critiques venues anonymously, my goal is to always go unnoticed. I want to slink in and slink out undetected, treated like any other patron so the review is fair, honest and real.

But what I did at French restaurant Herve’s in Albion, in Brisbane’s inner north, embarrassingly drew the attention of every diner in the open, upstairs venue.

Herve's French restaurant in Albion.

Like a clumsy baboon, I knocked over my champagne flute – the bubbles becoming a puddle at my feet and the glass shattering into dozens of pieces that skate like Torvill and Dean across the wooden floorboards of the industrial, elegant space.

The racket my ineptness induces draws the eyes of every patron and ensures I turn redder than the capsicum sauce accompanying my octopus tentacle.

The kind staff immediately rush to my aid, with the whole mess cleaned up within seconds and a fresh flute of complimentary sparkling on the table before I can stop blushing. “I wasn’t sure how much you had left,” says the waiter as she places a full glass in front of me with a consoling smile.

The dining room and central open kitchen at Herve's in Albion.

My cover, thankfully, is not blown, but I’m almighty sheepish.

I am, however, incredibly impressed by how well the service team handle the situation. And even more so when their fortitude is tested again less than half an hour later when a medical situation arises at the next table over.

Again, they handle the incident with skill, professionalism and discretion, showing this is a team that cannot be rattled.

The chefs, who are on display in the open kitchen in the centre of the restaurant show equal prowess, catering to the influx of orders launched at them at once, with dishes hitting tables in a timely fashion.

The menu is classically French, running from hors d’oeuvres like chicken liver pate on toasted brioche and sweet potato beignets, to entrees including crab souffle and steak tartare, and mains such as Parisian gnocchi and fish with beurre noisette.

The scallop, bug and prawn ravioli at Herve's in Albion.

The aforementioned octopus ($29) delivers a knockout punch of flavour with deep smokiness from the capsicum puree working in harmony with the char on the tender tentacle, while pickled onions provide balance and the silken polenta generosity.

For seafood pasta lovers, there’s the salty as the sea scallop, bug and prawn ravioli entree ($26) with an intense bisque dotted with smoked roe for added opulence; while for main, it has to be the classic confit duck ($38).

Here, the version is executed to the letter – meat falling off the bone, mash potato laden with butter and creamier than a dairy, and the jus of expert consistency.

The confit duck at Herve's in Albion.

Equal skill has been applied to the roast chicken, with the meat brined first for at least six hours to ensure it is tender before the oven caramelises its skin to intense umaminess. It would be a treat with something bold from the French-leaning yet global wine list, which offers bottles from $65 for an Italian Trebbiano to $1780 for a 2013 Cristal; and just over a dozen by the glass options with some hefty mark-ups.

Desserts continue on the classic theme – creme brulee, passionfruit souffle, crepes suzette but with some twists like a croissant shaped into a cube brimming with caramelised white chocolate crémeux, or our delightfully deconstructed citron tart ($18) with lemon curd piped on to a coconut sable that’s topped with a coconut financier, alongside toasted Italian meringue, and a cucumber and shiso sorbet.

While the venue’s namesake Herve Dudognon may have departed the business earlier this year, he has well and truly left the restaurant in safe hands.

Certainly safer than my clumsy appendages, anyway.

Herve’s Restaurant and Bar

Level 1 Craft’d Grounds, 31-37 Collingwood St, Albion

3326 0894

hervesrestaurantbar.com.au

Open

Wed 5.30pm-late; Thursday-Sat midday-2pm and 5.30pm-late; Sun midday-2pm

Must try

Confit duck

Verdict

Food 4

Service 5

Ambience 4

Value 4

Overall 4