Brisbane couple open up on long IVF battle

The infertility journey is one that is known all too well by many women. It can be a lonely ride, so this couple wants to share their experience, with all its heartaches, in order to give others hope.

Kelly Riediger had blind faith that one day she would be a mum. She didn’t need to be a supermum – just an average, everyday mum who would take her bub for a walk in the pram, go on picnics and snuggle up on the couch.

“Surely it wasn’t too much to want? Everywhere I looked there were babies,” the Carindale dietitian says.

“Tunnel vision made me see only babies. My friends were giving birth all around and I won’t lie, I couldn’t bring myself to face more than one baby shower. My heart just couldn’t take it.”

The infertility journey is known to many Queensland women.

Mum Kelly had to inject herself with 300 needles to conceive Max. Picture: Mark Cranitch

It is a lonely ride and Kelly wants to share her three-and-a-half year conception experience with all its heartaches, in order to give other women hope.

Miscarriages, failed embryo transfers, a family death, quarantine and a pandemic were all part of Kelly and Chris’ journey that miraculously ended with the birth of their beautiful baby boy, Max.

Kelly, who is now 41, said she once wasn’t sure that she wanted to have kids but when the desire hit it was relentless and all consuming.

“We loved to travel each year and had an amazing life together,” she says.

“At one time I thought that a baby would upset that lovely life.

“But when I was 37 and Chris 39 something shifted. It felt that we had enjoyed everything and the yearning to have a baby hit.”

The couple got pregnant quickly but Kelly suffered a miscarriage. Three months later another pregnancy and another tragic miscarriage.

It then dawned on the pair that having a baby may not come easily. After a year of trying, Kelly did not get pregnant. They then began the long and arduous journey into IVF.

Although she was in her late 30s then, Kelly had a good number of eggs and there was high hopes of a baby.

But nine rounds of IVF followed and a lifetime’s worth of tears.

Kelly and Chris with their darling baby Max. Picture: Mark Cranitch

The first round of IVF produced 13 eggs but none produced a day 5 embryo suitable for preimplantation genetic diagnosis (PGD) or transfer. Then the same thing happened with the second round of IVF.

Kelly had a reasonable number of eggs but they were poor quality. In total, 9 rounds of IVF gave Kelly a total of 4 PGD normal embryos. The first transfer was unsuccessful.

“When we were ready for our second embryo transfer Chris went to Sydney to see his dad for one last Father’s Day,” she recalls. “His dad was terminally ill with cancer but due to the emerging pandemic, I couldn’t go with him. Sadly, Chris’ father passed away when he was in NSW and then I had to break the news to him that the embryo transfer had failed.

“That must have been so hard for him – a real double blow.

“For the next transfer, Chris thought he would be out of hotel quarantine to be with me but my hormone levels hit the right levels two days earlier than expected so he wasn’t there.

“That embryo was little Max. Chris feels that his dad had something to do with that success.

“It was as if it was his first order of business once he had left this world,” Kelly said.

Chris raced out of hotel quarantine at 12.01am, the first second he was free to leave, to be at the side of Kelly “his soulmate”.

Baby Max.

Every miscarriage and every failed transfer was like a stab to the heart for Kelly.

“At the beginning of the infertility journey I only told a few close friends and family members about the IVF rounds, I felt it was personal,” she says. “As time went on though I came to realise that it is such a lonely journey for a woman, even when she has fantastic support from her partner. I found great solace in online groups sharing the highs and lows with other women going through the same,” the new mum said.

Chris works in health IT and Kelly is based at a hospital with her work.

“IVF is not cheap and we have been incredibly lucky that we both worked and had the money available,” she says.

“While I had a blind faith that one day I would have a baby we did draw a line at 10 rounds of IVF – that just seemed to be the right number. We ended up having nine.

“Looking at it now I’m not sure if we would actually have stopped at 10. The yearning is so bad and you keep saying to yourself, the next one will be the one.”

Max in mum’s arms. Picture: Mark Cranitch

The couple has two more embryos that have been tested for chromosome problems and they have been given the all clear.

“Even though I am now in my 40s it is consoling that science has allowed the embryos to be tested and I know that they have a good chance of success,” she says.

“We hope to try for a sibling for Max when he is one, he is three months old now,” she said.

“There are no guarantees of it being successful but chances are better. “Failed embryo transfers are heartbreaking. I don’t think I will go into the next one with the same fear and anxiousness as in the past.

“We already have Max and that is a gift and we will be forever grateful but of course a brother or sister for Max would be the ultimate.”

As the couple adjusts to life with a bub they are keeping their focus on enjoying every moment with Max, watching him discover the world and looking forward to when he is old enough to enjoy the outdoors and a sporty life.

Holding Max in his arms is like a dream come true for dad Chris.

“Much like the conception journey there are many emotions,” he says.

“Overwhelmingly I’m happy, proud and content but also nervous and worried I’ll mess something up and be downright clueless when Max is having a ‘first’ or just having a newborn moment.

“The genes are strong though. I see my dad, my mum, Kelly’s parents, Kelly and myself in his mannerisms, movements and face so often that I can’t help but smile and be amazed at how lucky we are to have him and how much I want for him in his life.

Chris admits he was in awe of how his wife handled the relentless heartache over the years. He feels proud of her resilience and ability to pick herself up and keep trying.

“There aren’t too many emotions I didn’t feel on the journey,” he recalls.

Kelly and Chris with baby Max at home. Picture: Mark Cranitch

“It was such a rollercoaster. The main things I remember was sadness and frustration at watching Kelly struggle in the tough times knowing how little I could actually do in a practical sense about our infertility issues.

“It was very difficult to watch Kelly go through the toughest of our times, heartbreaking actually. Our already very strong relationship got even stronger.’’

As life came full circle with the birth of baby Max and the loss of his father, Chris has one regret – that his dad did not get the chance to meet his new son.

“I was fortunate to get the time with my dad that I did,” he says.

“It was a privilege to be there to help care for him in his final weeks and to reflect on his amazing life with him, his second wife Maggie, her family, my family and all his friends both here and overseas.

“It was sad to lose him before he had a chance to meet Max but he was satisfied with his life and I’ll always cherish the time we had. I’m sure he had a hand in Max.’’

Dr Shane Higgins from Queensland Fertility Group, who helped Kelly and Chris.

To conceive Max, Kelly estimates she had to undergo about 300 injections of specialised medications to stimulate the development of eggs or prevent ovulation.

The Riedigers’ IVF specialist Dr Shane Higgins from Queensland Fertility Group, based in inner-Brisbane’s Spring Hill, said the couple had experienced a very difficult journey to parenthood.

“Few women perform this many rounds due to the emotional toll that IVF can have,’’ he said.

“Kelly and Chris’ journey was longer than average as sadly the couple has experienced two miscarriages, but this is a testament to her resilience and the supportive care she received.’’

Dr Higgins said that pre-implantation genetic testing (PGT) had a hand in helping the couple deliver their dream baby. The test allows only chromosomally healthy embryos to be selected for transfer during an IVF cycle, maximising the chance of a healthy baby. The test can double the chances of a successful pregnancy.

More than 80 per cent of miscarriages happen when the baby gets too many, or not enough, chromosomes.

“This test has been a game-changer for women like Kelly, who have gone through miscarriages,” he says.

“After the embryos are tested and frozen, the time clock has been stopped so even though Kelly might be getting older, the embryos remain the same. Our embryologists look after these embryos with such care, checking on them every day. Our team backs up the couples like Kelly and Chris every step of the way.

“Little Max came into our rooms this week and I got to hold him. What a great job.”

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