'Why should I leave them anything?' Estranged mum won't give kids a cent

OPINION: "After watching bitter 'Doormat Mum', I thought: would I do the same if my kids distanced themselves from me?"

There's this woman on TikTok called Doormat Mom, and she's stirring the pot with some pretty controversial stuff about her estranged kids.

Now, she's asking if it’s okay to leave them out of her will.

“Should I include, axe, or modify? What’s the deal with ungrateful adult children and inheritances?”

Want to join the family? Sign up to our Kidspot newsletter for more stories like this. 

RELATED: I told my kids they weren’t getting my inheritance, but their step-mum is

"What's the kids' side of the story?"

More than 1200 people answered her. Some viewers are like, “Heck yes, cut them out!” while others are saying, “What about the kids' side of the story?"

A few are even suggesting leaving money to the grandkids, but only if the parents don’t get a cent.

I find this all so interesting because it's apparently so common.  Anna Russell recently wrote an article for The New York Times about how more adult children are distancing themselves from their parents, and asks, "Is it empowerment or just a worrying trend in family dynamics?"

Image: TikTok/Supplied

"I left my bike to my cat"

The last will I drafted was when I was five, and I said I would leave my bike to my cat.

But now, as an adult with kids, I know it’s something I should probably tackle. I’ve heard so many horror stories about families falling apart over wills and siblings dragging each other to court—money just complicates everything. After watching Doormat Mom, I started thinking: what would I do if my kids decided they didn’t want to have anything to do with me?

It’s clear that Doormat Mom has a lot to say about her “ungrateful children,” but honestly, I can’t help but wonder what her kids’ side of the story is. It reminds me of the saying, “Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.”

Do we really want our legacy to be a final act of resentment?

I remember a time when I had a flatmate who basically kicked me out right before my wedding. Talk about stressful. I was super tempted just to leave her hanging without paying rent when it was due, but my husband convinced me to do the decent thing and pay her for a couple of weeks. 

Even when my emotions were running wild, doing the right thing made me feel so much better in the long run—it helped me let go of that resentment. 

Michelle Obama once said, “When they go low, we go high,” and maybe that’s a solid mantra when dealing with those “ungrateful children.”

Inheritance is such a tricky topic. Do you owe your kids anything? Should they expect anything? 

"I brought them into this world"

Honestly, I think about how I brought them into this world, and no matter how much resentment they might have, my instinct is still to care for them.

It’d be heartbreaking to face estrangement, but I would want my last act to be one of kindness rather than bitterness.

Instead of expressing my grievances on TikTok, I'd prefer to leave something positive behind. A final act of kindness might just resonate with them more than a parting shot of bitterness.

I totally get why a hurt parent might want to cut their estranged kids out of their will, but that feels like a low blow to me.

What do you think?

Originally published as 'Why should I leave them anything?' Estranged mum won't give kids a cent