Why I didn't give out lolly bags at my daughter's birthday party
Isn’t there already enough sugar at kid’s birthday parties?
That seemingly innocent question stopped me in my tracks.
In that moment, I realised I had broken an unspoken rule of children's birthday parties. I had thrown a party for my four-year-old daughter without party bags, and the omission was noticed.
But, in my defence, I did have my reasons for not having them.
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“I thought party bags were optional”
When I was planning my daughter’s birthday party, I thought that party bags were nice to have, but not essential.
There was already so much else to organise – the cake, the food, the tableware, the napkins, the decorations and the games – and party bags just seemed like something I could omit.
It wasn’t until an older kid asked where the party bags were that I understood my mistake.
Party bags, after all, are one way to show gratitude to other kids for coming to the party.
In their language, I had basically sent them home without a proper “thank you”, and I could see the disappointed look on some of their faces.
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“I felt anxious about choosing what to put in the party bags”
I had briefly entertained the idea of having party bags but then I had felt too overwhelmed about what to put in them.
I hadn’t been to many kid’s birthday parties as an adult so I didn't know what other people usually put in party bags for 4-year-olds. When I was a kid, party bags were just filled with lollies and chocolate.
My first concern was about sugar. Isn’t there already enough sugar at kid’s birthday parties? My daughter’s friends could just take home some leftover cake if they wanted to.
I was also worried about including food that might trigger an allergic reaction or be unsafe to eat.
But food aside, I couldn’t bring myself to buy cheap plastic toys. They’d likely just break or be forgotten about soon after the party, then end up in landfill.
The thought of creating this unnecessary waste didn’t sit right for me.
I remember thinking some toys could also pose a choking risk to younger party guests or their siblings. My own daughter was still putting toys in her mouth.
In the end, I decided that the easiest and most responsible thing to do was to skip the party bags all together.
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“I’m not against having party bags”
After attending several kid’s birthday parties since my daughter’s party, I’ve seen that party bags are an expected part of the celebration, just like cake.
I’ve also seen some pretty cool party bags, which contain things like seeds for a flowering plant, drawings or cards, and chocolate cream biscuits instead of high sugar treats. The bags themselves can also be made from paper, instead of plastic.
It turns out that party bags can be both environmentally friendly and low in sugar. This was a comforting realisation for me, as I had thought that my only option was to fill each bag with high sugar treats and small plastic junk.
Thankfully, there's a way to have party bags without compromising on my own values.
I’m open to the idea of having party bags for my daughter’s future birthday parties. But if I do, they’ll be better for the planet and kid’s teeth, but hopefully still a fun surprise.
Ultimately, I want my daughter and her friends to enjoy the party, and then go home with a smile.
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Originally published as Why I didn't give out lolly bags at my daughter's birthday party
