This selfish birthday party act blew my budget and left me seething

"There are so many entitled parents who will take advantage of people’s fear of confrontation."

Planning a kid's party can quickly become an unnecessarily painful experience for parents.

From lolly bags to catering and entertainment, creating a fun experience without requiring a small bank loan can be challenging.

One mum has vented about how the assumptions of many parents left her and her husband over budget and seething with anger and regret.

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Final numbers plus some

The mum took to parenting forum Reddit to share a recent experience from her youngest child’s birthday party.

“Yesterday we had a birthday party for our youngest [and] held it at a kids place,” she started.

“I had planned for the kids that RSVPd plus two extra in case some just showed up [and] at max, her party should have been 11 kids.”

The mum informed the venue and based the food, cake, party room, and lolly bags off that figure, too. 

However, on the day, the number blew out by nearly double, on “the day of several parents showed up with siblings, [and] the kids just all started joining in with the rest of everybody.” 

“Our total headcount ended up at 19, which threw off everything, especially the final price,” she added.

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"At a loss"

The mum revealed she and her husband were “at a loss” because they felt it wasn’t the kids’ fault their parents wrongly assumed they would be able to join the party but it left them out of pocket.

“The final price of the party was a lot more than we budgeted,” she wrote.

“I've never had this happen with so many siblings just showing up and parents expecting them to join in. Is this normal now?” she asked. 

“Does my head in”

The post, which has over 500 comments and counting, revealed hundreds of replies that pointed out how common (and rude) this practice is in people's experience.

“Does my head in that people have to have it spelled out to them when siblings are involved?” complained one parent. 

“If people want to parent their kids as a single unit then that's entirely their choice, just don't expect anyone else to feel the same.”

Another wrote, “No advice other than we stopped doing birthday parties because of this exact reason!

“Thankfully, my boys are older now and just want a “birthday experience,” which is more like a day at a theme park or go-kart place with a friend now. 

“But when they were 10 and under, the number of parents who would drop off all their children blew my mind. I couldn’t imagine doing that to someone."

This parent claimed, “There are many entitled parents that will take advantage of people’s fear of confrontation.”

They went on to suggest, “On the invitation, you can say something like, due to space limitations, additional siblings will not be provided for in the party package, but parents are welcome to pay for their attendance.”

Where did this sense of entitlement come from? Source: iStock

RELATED: I publicly shamed a child for wanting more cake

The pressure of kids’ parties

Celebrating your child’s birthday has morphed into a costly affair, largely influenced by the unwavering pressure of social media. 

From expensive personalised balls to balloon arches and entertainers, many parents feel the need to keep up with their children’s friends.

Despite all the noise (and saved Instagram stories), it's crucial to remember the reason for these celebrations: love, not lavishness.

Our kids' happiness doesn't hinge on the price tag of their celebration, and it’s silly to have to live on baked beans for the weeks leading up to a party to be able to afford it.

To parents who are gearing up to host a party for their child, don’t overstretch yourself. Be sure to be explicit about plus-ones (or threes!) on the invite. Don’t feel financially obligated or guilty about covering the costs of siblings who turn up ready to party.

And to the parents who assume it won’t be a problem to bring the whole family along, chances are the host family has put a lot of effort into organising and budgeting for the party. 

Reach out to the hosts before if you’d like your kids to join in, but don’t expect them to cover the costs.

Originally published as This selfish birthday party act blew my budget and left me seething