'She told me to stop saying it, so I did': Mum's regret after daughter's murder

Brianna Ghey was murdered at 16. Her mum now shares a heartbreaking warning for other parents.

In February 2023, Esther Ghey’s daughter, Brianna, was lured to a park and murdered in an “exceptionally brutal” killing. 

Only 16 years old, Brianna was stabbed to death by two 15-year-olds who were motivated by transphobia and torturous obsessions. 

Since that fateful day, Esther has been living every mother’s worst nightmare. She says she has a deep regret that she wants all parents to know: never stop telling your kids you love them. 

Because she made that very mistake when her daughter was alive.

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"Don't say that anymore"

“There was a point where Brianna was like, 'Don’t say that anymore,' and she said it that much that I just stopped saying it. So that’s why I say, ‘Hold your children tight and never stop telling them that you love them,’” Esther recalls in a an ITV documentary, A Mother’s Story. 

She explained their relationship had become strained, as she became increasingly concerned about the content Brianna had been watching online, particularly pro-anorexia and self-harm videos.

“The more I tried to protect her, the more she pushed me away so I hope that bringing mindfulness into families might improve relationships and no parent will be in the same situation as I was with Brianna."

Brianna and Esther Ghey. Image: ITV/Facebook

In the months before her murder, Brianna had been dealing with anxiety and an eating disorder. She struggled so much that she couldn’t attend normal school lessons but had been befriended by Scarlett Jenkinson, one of the teens who would go on to take her life. 

On the day she was tragically stabbed 28 times, Brianna got on a bus and believed she would be meeting Jenkinson. Esther recalled receiving a text from Brianna saying she felt anxious, but her mother thought the social meet up was a step in the right direction. 

“I was hoping that Brianna would go out and have a nice time re-entering society. I responded to say how good it was. I don’t know whether she ever saw how proud I was of her.”

Instead, Brianna met Jenkinson and her accomplice, Eddie Ratcliffe. The two had been meticulously planning Brianna’s murder - how, when, and where, as well as a code word - “gay” - to indicate for the stabbing to begin.

They followed their murderous blueprint, and when they were disturbed by dog walkers, they left Brianna to die in a park. 

Image: ITV

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Brianna's killers were "obsessed” with killing

A year after slaying Brianna, Jenkinson and Ratcliffe were sentenced to life in jail, the judge describing their actions as “sadistic”.

“You both took part in a brutal and planned murder which was sadistic in nature and where a secondary motive was hostility towards Brianna because of her transgender identity,” Justice Yip told the teens in their sentencing. 

Jenkinson was labelled as the “driving force” behind the attack and had become captivated with watching murder and torture videos on the dark web. 

According to The Guardian, she told a psychiatrist that she had found the killing “exciting” and had wanted to take Brianna’s body as a souvenir (no evidence suggests that this occurred). 

Esther told the court of her devastation that Brianna was killed by someone she thought she was her friend.

“Someone that we trusted. Someone that I was so happy that she had, fearing that my child had been lonely.”

An unlikely friendship between two heartbroken mothers

In the documentary Esther shares that she has since met with Jenkinson’s mother, Emma, as part of their ongoing healing.

"I know that people blame the parents when a teenager does something but they have their own minds. I can’t imagine that any parent would ever go out of their way to make their child become what Scarlett and Eddie are. I have a lot of sympathy for the parents.

“The initial meeting with Scarlett’s mum was really emotional. It wasn’t a difficult meeting, I think it was just something we both really wanted.” 

She said that the two continue to chat at least once a week. 

“It isn’t Emma who committed the crime. As a parent, I went through such a difficult time trying to monitor Brianna and to keep on top of what she was accessing online,” she told The Guardian.

“Brianna was harming herself, and Emma’s daughter was harming herself and went on to harm someone else as well… she’s just a normal woman who was doing her best.”

Now, Esther is a strong advocate for social media regulation, including banning kids under 16 years old from the platforms. 

Originally published as 'She told me to stop saying it, so I did': Mum's regret after daughter's murder