SAHM shares her dire 'cautionary tale' of not working

"Don't make my mistakes. All of you ladies deserve so much more."

Almost 50 000 people have commented on a mother's controversial clip warning others with her "cautionary tale" about becoming a stay-at-home mum.

Samantha, who posts under @spettyjohn14, earlier this week filmed a "rant" about her SAHM frustrations - which have led to the destruction of her marriage.

The ensuing highly divided debate on relationships and parenthood has resulted in the video going viral with 4.2 million views.

Want to join the family? Sign up to our Kidspot newsletter for more stories like this.

RELATED: Husband on more than $1 million won’t let wife be a SAHM

"I've never hated another person more"

Samatha says, "Today is my three-year wedding anniversary. This has been the most depressing, miserable, three years of my life. I have literally never been so depressed; I've never hated another person more than I hate the person that I married.

"While I run my ass off and do everything for everybody, he goes to work. And works enough. That's it. That is all he does.

"I'm begging him for the bare minimum to watch our daughter. It's not even that much."

She continues, "Yeah, I don't work. But the amount of weight I carry...."

Image: TikTok

The distraught mum adds that she can understand why some women stay in bad marriages - for her, it's because of "money." And that 'payoff' is becoming increasingly difficult for her to endure.

"I shouldn't have to wake up a 32-year-old man for work. I shouldn't have to tell him how to dress the kids.

"He may make the money, but that's all. I carry the weight of the budgeting. I have to ensure we have food and clothes and the bills are paid."

Samantha ends her clip by telling viewers her plan is to leave - soon - and is searching for a job. But after being a SAHM for so long, it's impossible to leave immediately. 

"You gotta have a plan. You can't just walk away with nothing."

Her video is captioned: "I can’t wait for the day I get to look back at this and say 'look at what you survived'." 

RELATED:  Dad tells SAHM that she’s been ‘riding on my income’

The controversy about trad wives and SAHMs

Discussion about "trad wives" and SAHMs has been trending online all year, and has intensified in recent months.

There's one camp who firmly believe in being with their children by not working outside of the home, and fully relying on their partners/husbands to financially provide.

But then there are others, such as Samantha, who warn people that such dependence can sometimes not turn out to be the dream.

Many viewers of her clip felt enormous empathy for the mum, but were relieved that she has eventually realised the potential risks of her situation.

"As a fellow Samantha. Took me 12 years to put my foot down. If leaving isn’t an option to you. Leave without leaving. Don’t talk to him. Don’t do anything for him. Put yourself first- for real. Heal," one said.

Another suggested, "Manage the money in the household. Give him a cash allowance. Other than that, pretend he doesn’t exist. Do it for only you and the kids. Don’t expect or ask him to do anything. Lawyer up & make a plan."

But the saddest part of the responses was seeing that thousands and thousands of women have suffered in situations like Samantha's for decades.

As one viewer wrote, "Reading these comments breaks my heart. All of you ladies deserve so much more."

Originally published as SAHM shares her dire 'cautionary tale' of not working