Red Rover, elastics, bullrush, brandings: The games our kids never seem to play
We risked broken arms in Red Rover and scalded thighs on metal slides and we loved every minute of it. Here’s to the banned, bruised and brilliant games of our childhood.
If you weren’t buried up to your neck in the sandpit, holding secret club meetings up a tree, or sliding down a hot metal slide that could double as a branding iron, you were probably playing one of the “character-building” schoolyard games that have since been banned, risk-assessed, or replaced with mindfulness corners.
For Gen X and Millennial kids, recess wasn’t about fidget toys or supervision, it was chaos, bruises and belly laughs. Somewhere between the hand-clap rhymes, grazed knees and questionable rules, we learned resilience, negotiation… and how to duck a flying tennis ball at 20km/h.
These are the games that made our childhoods and terrified our teachers.
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Red Rover
Two teams. One human chain. One kid belting across the oval with the speed of a greyhound and the courage of a stunt double. The aim? Smash through the line without dislocating a shoulder. Somehow, we thought this was fun. Many of us still have the scars, or the school photos with one arm in a sling, to prove it.
Bullrush
Imagine a cross between tag and a stampede. Everyone lined up at one end, one kid in the middle yelled “BULLRUSH!” and we’d charge like maniacs. Collisions were guaranteed. Concussions optional.
Cassidy remembers: “Can confirm that bullrush was banned by the time I finished primary school.” Probably for good reason.
Brandings
A game that involved hurling a ball at your friends as hard as possible. And somehow we were the generation told to toughen up. Jaclyn shared: “Brandings was banned at my primary school after an elderly teacher copped a ball to her varicose vein in her leg ... sooo much blood!”
We didn’t call it traumatic. We called it lunchtime.
Elastics
Three kids, one long elastic loop (cut from Mum’s best pair of tights), and endless chants. “England, Ireland, Scotland, Wales…” until the elastic hit your neck and you went home with perfect crisscross marks around your calves. Bonus points if your school socks were rolled down just right.
Kiss Chasey
Ah, the romantic chaos of primary school. One minute you’re sprinting to avoid a smooch, the next you’re planning your wedding behind the library bins.
Shane says: “Kiss chasey was big in primary school, not so much at my all-boys high school.” Fair.
Cowboys and Indians
Before we had conversations about cultural sensitivity, Maree remembers this being the game. “Not so politically correct cowboys and Indians was a big hit for us.” These days, it’d be swiftly replaced with a “respectful roleplay workshop.”
Piggy in the Middle
The name alone should’ve been a red flag. Two throwers, one poor soul stuck between them, endless humiliation.
Marti puts it best: “If that isn’t a bullying game, I don’t know what is!”
What’s the Time, Mr Wolf?
A seemingly harmless game… until Mr Wolf yelled “DINNER TIME!” and the playground turned into a stampede. Matt recalls: “We had one game of 'What's the time Mr Wolf' that ended with three kids with fractures and breaks!”
Flicks
Somehow, Marni’s school managed to up the ante with a game that “involved knives being thrown!” Probably best this one didn’t make the safety audit.
Hand-clap Games
Not all old games were dangerous. Before TikTok trends, we had “Miss Mary Mack” and “Down by the banks of the hanky panky.” A true test of rhythm, friendship, and coordination.
Jacks and Knuckles
No one got a sprained ankle from this one, just scraped fingers and fierce competition. Somehow, these quieter games vanished too - replaced by iPads and passive supervision.
The questionable chants
From the now insensitive “Eenie, meenie, minie, mo …” (yikes) to Gemma’s memory: “Dip dip dog shit, who trod in it? What colour was it?” it’s safe to say our rhymes wouldn’t pass a modern-day sensitivity check.
Brad summed it up perfectly: “Primary school was a bloodbath!”
And yet, we survived. We learned. And we laughed until the bell rang.
Maybe our kids don’t need to play brandings with cricket balls or run through lines of human defence, but there’s something to be said for the chaos, freedom and unfiltered fun of those playground days.
Originally published as Red Rover, elastics, bullrush, brandings: The games our kids never seem to play
