Parent trap: Gen Z’s great lifestyle paid for by mum and dad
Gen Z – those born between 1997 and 2012 – are often accused of expecting everything to be handed to them on a silver platter. But is this really true? Vote in our poll.
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There’s FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) and now there’s FOMO parenting, which is so much worse; it’s a fear your child is missing out.
And it could be the reason why Gen X continue to fund their adult children’s flashy lifestyles, with some paying for their first car, their gap year and even overseas holidays.
“Gen Z are living a great lifestyle, one they couldn’t afford without their parents,” demographer and futurist Mark McCrindle said.
“Gen Xers are happy to keep the family together later. They’re extending their parental role. It used to end at 17 or 18, now it’s going on into their 20s.
“Gen X sees it as about the journey of life, it’s about investing in experiences, but it comes at a price. It can create a little bit of a dependency and a false sense of expectation.”
He said unlike previous generations, Gen Zeds are reluctant to move to a unit in the outer suburbs, when they can live in comfort in the family home in a desirable suburb.
Mr McCrindle said Gen X parents have always invested heavily in their kids, from watching over their homework and shepherding them from one extra-curricular activity to the next.
The term “helicopter parents” – where parents have excessive involvement in a child’s life – became a mainstream term during the Gen X parenting era.
He said Gen X is the last of the generations – like the Boomers – to “sneak in and buy a home” and they see how tough the housing market is and so they want to help their kids where they can.
Mr McCrindle said there are pros to keeping the kids closer.
“We have 20-somethings still connected to their parents and siblings which is phenomenal for social integration,” he said. “It’s keeping Gen X younger for longer, but they’re also working for longer. Gen X cannot contemplate retirement as they’re spending $20k on overseas trips and still funding a larger home. But they’re having a richer life for it.”
Claire Madden, social researcher and author of Hello Gen Z: Engaging The Generation Of Post-Millennials, said Gen X parents have been in a uniquely difficult place and faced unexpected challenges, especially with technology.
“The parents of Gen Z have not been able to keep up with the rules of online engagement,” Ms Madden said.
“There’s a global community of kids and the peer pressure that goes with that.
“Parents have been enabling their kids so they have not got FOMO, but it can be to their detriment.”
She said as a result Gen Z has “a degree of entitlement” and admit “they have been given everything on a silver platter”.
“I think there is a bit of overindulgence because they have been given a lot at a young age, I mean, just take into account the cost of the devices they’ve got in their back pockets and the streaming, they think it is part of life.”
Ms Madden said Gen X parents feel they have to provide everything for their children, but questioned that by giving them the car or the gap year are they equipping them to grow into independent people?
She said there are a lot of good things about Gen Z. They feel deeply about social issues and want to make the world a better place. And, they believe they do work hard.
Meanwhile, Millennials are also becoming parents and along with that a new parenting style has been born, “gentle parenting”. The next generation of parents will discuss their child’s bad behaviour with them rather than telling them not to do something.
Supporters say it creates happy, confident children, while detractors say it could be storing up issues for when the child steps out into the real world where there are real consequences to their actions.
Raising Children Network Director Derek McCormack heads an independent government-funded online resource for parents and said parenting has always had its challenges and rewards, so in that respect nothing has changed.
He said today’s parents are more open and aware of their children’s mental health and disabilities such as neurodivergence.
While some parents follow a particular parenting style, Mr McCormack said Raising Children Network does not advocate for any particular style over another because it can be divisive.
Instead, he said the website gives parents evidence-based advice on a range of topics.
Mr McCormack said ultimately, the biggest factor for creating a happy, healthy and resilient child was “having at least one adult that has their back”.
‘$40k FAMILY HOLIDAY FOR THE ADULT KIDS’
Renae Kunda is still savouring the memories of her $40k family trip to the US with her kids 28 and 31 and seven-year-old grandson.
The dream holiday in December was paid for by herself, 52, and her husband Roy, 61.
There was something for everyone, a white Christmas for her, Mavericks Beach for her daughter Emmy, 31, Las Vegas for Roy and son Jordan, 28, and Disneyland for grandson Eli.
Mrs Kunda has precious photos of them all at the Grand Canyon next to the helicopter they flew in on, the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco and Hollywood.
“This is our third big family trip that we’ve paid for,” Mrs Kunda said. “We took the kids to Europe and New Zealand when they were in their late teens. They have been really spoilt with travel. I promised myself this is the last one, but you never know. Maybe I’ll get them to save up for the next one.
“For us, it is all about making these lifetime memories while we still can, and when we get too old to travel we’ll have the photos.”
The Kundas from North Queensland, run a business Cape York Motorcycle Adventures, and they get families signing up for trips all the time – but it’s always the parents paying.
“When one of the kids gets their credit card out it’s really strange,” Mrs Kunda said. “I always say, ‘Wow, I’m so proud of you’, as it only happens once or twice a year.
“Sometimes we see the 40-year-old paying for their dads as well.”
‘A FEW OF MY FRIENDS’ PARENTS ASSISTED THEM’
While some of Hanna Lynzaat’s friends got some significant financial help to buy their first car, she bought her beloved Holden Cruise at the age of 18 the old school way – by working part-time at Bunnings.
The now university student saved enough in just over six months to buy a $5500 car, and pay for tax, insurance and registration.
“My parents told me after I turned 18 that if I wanted things I had to work part-time,” Ms Lynzaat, now 22.
“A few of my friends’ parents assisted them.”
She said she knew people who got a new BMW when they turned 18.
“Their parents had the means. I went down a different path,” Ms Lynzaat said.
Ms Lynzaat, who is studying law, said she was lucky to be able to save for a car quite quickly because she had no expenses living at home with her parents.
She said when she graduates, she hopes to move out and eventually start saving for her own home.
She said having achieved one savings goal, she feels confident she can do it again.
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