‘Never got to live a life’: Young Aussie faces we lost to social media bullying and harassment
These are just some of the faces of young Australians whose lives ended because of social media, which in some way contributed to their deaths.
Teens
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Tilly Rosewarne was “a ball of joy” with a “very big giggle”. Courtney Love enjoyed drawing and playing soccer. Allem Halkic was planning to travel during a gap year. Jessie Tolhurst wanted to be a zookeeper. James Boyd-Gergely loved riding his motorbike on the farm.
Rohan Cosgriff was a “skilled footballer” and a “kind and beautiful boy”. Esra Haynes was “one in a million” and an aerobics state champion. Cassidy Trevan was ”caring” and loved her five little dogs. Jessica Cleland was excited about a new job working with horses. Mac Holdsworth was the school captain who wanted to be an electrician.
And Dolly Everett was a “happy-go-lucky, carefree crazy-haired little girl”.
They lived in different parts of the country and had very different lives.
But they all had one thing in common – their lives ended because of social media, which in some way or another contributed to their deaths.
News Corp Australia, along with parents from across Australia, are calling on the federal government to raise the age limit at which children can access social media to 16 as part of a national campaign,Let Them Be Kids, to stop the scourge of social media.
Let Them Be Kids: SIGN THE PETITION
ALLEM HALKIC
Allem, from Melbourne, was one of the first well publicised deaths.
The sporty and popular 17-year-old was planning to take a gap year after his studies, but instead took his life in 2010 after being bullied for weeks on Facebook.
After his death Allem’s dad, Ali, 50, and wife Dina, 55, set up Bully Zero to educate people about the dangers of cyberbullying and social media.
He said they thought their only child was safe at home in his bedroom, but he wasn’t.
He blames himself for paying for Allem’s phone, his computer and the internet bills and said if he knew then what he knows now, he would never have allowed his son access to social media.
“They say with time it will get better, but for me it gets worse and worse,” Mr Halkic said. “I get more angry about it.
“Social media is a ‘cancer’ that has claimed too many kids’ lives.”
Despite their efforts, and the efforts of other bereaved parents who have tried to make a difference, the deaths keep happening.
COURTNEY LOVE
Two years after Allem, Courtney Love from Kiama, NSW, killed herself after being urged on by trolls. The depressed 15-year-old posted 500 pictures of herself self-harming on her social media. Others users commenting called for her to “cut deeper” and try harder to take her own life.
Her mum can’t believe social media giants still refuse to shoulder the blame for her daughter’s death but worse, are allowing online bullying to thrive.
“Courtney shouldn’t have been able to upload over 500 photos to her Instagram account, where the keyboard warriors were commenting on her self-harming photos, telling her to cut deeper; show more blood; go ahead and kill yourself; all of which affected her mental health,” Ness Love said.
“If Courtney didn’t have access to social media platforms and the internet in general, she wouldn’t have learnt how to (kill herself). It’s that brutal and that simple.”
There are still some of Courtney’s Facebook accounts that Ms Love has been unable to get removed.
CASSIDY TREVAN
Bullies allegedly orchestrated the gang rape of Melbourne teen Cassidy Trevan when she was just 13. She moved schools, moved house, changed her phone number and reduced her Facebook friends down to 30. But the bullying didn’t stop, with people she’d never met messaging her on Facebook calling her a slut. She took her life in 2015 aged 15.
Her mum Linda said her daughter was “loving, caring, intelligent, diplomatic and witty” and didn’t have a “mean bone in her body”. “She adored her boyfriend of 16 months and her five little dogs,” she said.
JESSICA CLELAND
Jessica Cleland, 19, from Victoria, was bombarded with nasty messages across social media platforms the night before she took her own life in 2015. Coroner Jacqui Hawkins said “The circumstances of Jessica’s death highlight the important role that social media and other communication technologies can play in young people’s lives.”
JESSIE TOLHURST
Social media meant Jessie Tolhurst, 14, from NSW’s south coast couldn’t escape bullies either, said her mum. Jessie killed herself just before Christmas in 2016.
DOLLY EVERETT
Some victims’ names like that of Dolly Everett, 14, are lasered into the nation’s memory.
She was being bullied at her Queensland boarding school, but it continued on social media even when she was back on the family cattle farm in the Northern Territory. She took her life in 2018.
TILLY ROSEWARNE
Matilda ‘Tilly’ Rosewarne, 15, from Bathurst, NSW, was bullied from Year 5, but it escalated at high school after one kid faked a porn photo of her and shared it on Snapchat. Her alleged abusers urged her to take her life – she killed herself in 2022 – and then joked about her death online.
Meanwhile, new social media harms have emerged in the years since Allem passed away nearly 14 years ago.
Dangerous challenges or dares can go viral on social media quickly and have led to multiple tragedies.
JAMES BOYD-GERGELY
Just before his death in 2020 “happy teenager” James Boyd-Gergely, 14, from NSW, had been riding his beloved motorbike on the family farm. He was found dead on the veranda of his home by his father, who believes he died while attempting a viral TikTok blackout challenge. He was too young to understand the risks.
ESRA HAYNES
Esra Haynes, 13, from Melbourne, went into cardiac arrest and sustained irreparable brain damage after taking part in ‘chroming’ – inhaling chemicals from an aerosol to get a quick high – while at a friend’s sleepover in 2023. After switching off her life support, her parents called for a “lock down on the loopholes” which allow kids to get access to “adult content” on social media.
“All it takes is for one child to see it and share it and spread, it then they are all doing it,” Esra’s dad Paul said.
Although sites such as TikTok have since restricted access to such videos that received millions of hits worldwide, young teens are still sharing clips about the deadly practice.
The challenge has killed more than a dozen kids around the world, with an Italian investigation finding that TikTok’s algorithm was recommending it to kids.
Mr Haynes is fully supportive of the campaign.
Meanwhile, a new scam targeting mainly young boys has been claiming a whole new cohort of children, mainly young male teens.
ROHAN COSGRIFF
Rohan Cosgriff, 17, from Melbourne, thought he was talking to a girl on Instagram, but instead it was a ruthless Nigerian hoaxer who convinced him to send an explicit picture of himself. The trickster then demanded $1000 or he would make the photo public. In 2022, just hours after the threat, Rohan killed himself.
MAC HOLDSWORTH
Similarly, Mac Holdsworth, 17, took his life six months ago after he was blackmailed by a sextortion scammer, who turned out to be a 45-year-old man from NSW, who had created a fake account. Mac thought he was talking to a teenage girl on Instagram when he shared an explicit photo of himself.
After every death, each one of these parents have spoken out to warn others of the dangers.
Mr Halkic said it’s exhausting and he doesn’t know how much he has left in the tank to keep repeating the same message. He said this campaign has to succeed because it will save lives.
It’s been nearly 14 years since Allem’s death, but understandably he’s still grief stricken.
“The hollowness never leaves you,” Mr Halkic said.
“Every now and then I sit down and go through his schoolbooks and reconnect.
“But the one thing I miss more than anything is his smell.
“That sort of disappeared as the dust started collecting on his things.
“I miss the way that as he got older he would pat me and touch me when he walked past. I can’t tell you how much I crave his touch.
“Every birthday that passes, his 18th, 21st, Easter and Christmas we go to the cemetery.
“Those drives are the most horrific things we have to do as parents.
“Selfishly I grieve the loss of my only child, but the loss is bigger for Allem,” Mr Halkic said. “He never got to live a life. That is not fair.”
On its website Meta said it is committed to making sure teens have age-appropriate experiences that are “safe, supportive and consistent”, while a TikTok spokesperson said it has a “zero-tolerance policy for bullying, physical abuse, sexual exploitation, and endangerment of minors”.
The TikTok spokesperson said accounts for those aged under 16 are set to private by default, which limits who can follow and view their content, read their bio, and interact with their videos.
It also has a family pairing feature that allows adults to link their TikTok account with their teen’s account, and gives them control over their teen’s account settings.
A Snapchat spokeswoman said its app was intentionally designed to be different from traditional social media, with a focus on helping people communicate with their close friends. “Snapchatters can easily and confidentially report any abusive accounts, content or chats, and we take quick action to remove them. While content on Snapchat deletes after 24 hours by default, we preserve data when a concern is reported to us.” It also provides family tools to help parents monitor their child’s account.
X did not respond to our request for comment.
If this story has raised problems for you please contact:
Lifeline: 13 11 14
Suicide Call Back Service: 1300 659 467
Beyond Blue: 1300 224 636
MensLine Australia: 1300 789 978
Kids Helpline: 1800 551 800
13YARN: 13 92 7
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