My son refused to go to this Sydney school: thankfully I listened to his warning

"He was meant to attend an all-boys private school, which is now the centre of serious allegations... but he called it, years ago. He knew he wasn't meant to be there."

My son isn't academically brilliant - but at 16, he's more street-smart and perceptive than most adults I know, has an incredible read on people, and is super observant.

I know we're not supposed to do this as parents, but I actually go to him for his opinions sometimes, knowing he will offer me a solid perspective. He's always seen things in situations that I haven't.

So, when I enrolled him in Sydney's Cranbrook School a few years ago, I knew had to listen when he outright refused to go.

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"He really was right all this time"

My son had been at an equivalent school to Cranbrook - single sex, 'elite' - interstate until we moved to Sydney. In fact, I had a contact at our old school who made it possible for us to attend Cranbrook without being on a 20-year waitlist.

So when we came here, it seemed a natural thing that he'd be attending. But, much to my surprise, my son, who was 12 at the time, absolutely refused.

"I'm not going to that school," he told me. "The boys are horrible. And I don't want to be at an all-boys school anymore."

He eventually explained that he'd heard a lot about the students from some friends here. We actually live near the campus, and he reported that he also overheard them talking at the school bus stop.

"They say really mean things," he told me uncomfortably.

He was so adamant, I had to trust him. It's turned out to be the best thing I've ever done.

Not that I didn't keep trying. I was a strong believer in the 'best money can buy' kind of education; that's what I'd had, so surely it had to be the right thing to do as a parent. So the topic of going to Cranbrook has been a matter of debate in our home over the years.  

I bring it up at the end of every school year, just to see if he's changed his mind... and am absolutely shut down.

More recently, my son has told me that some Cranbrook boys have talked about wanting to rape a girl at a girls' school... they swear about the teachers... and their attitudes, in general, are obnoxious.

And this isn't gossip - he's heard these things himself at bus stops, in shopping malls where school kids hang out... and he's seen it in online chats.

So, he's happily stayed at his local public school... and this week, with Cranbrook making headline news, it's hit me like a bolt of lightning: he really was right all this time.

This Sydney student refused to attend Cranbrook School. Image: Supplied

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A breeding ground for elitism and toxic masculinity

This week, the ABC has aired and published its investigation into Cranbrook, and the results are damning.

One quote reads: "Teachers given fluffy handcuffs. Wolf-whistling and orgasm noises on playground duty. An attempted blackmail for nudes. Being told you can expect to be sexually harassed because you're good-looking. Victimisation, a toxic culture, a boys' club.

"These allegations by former female teachers and staff at Sydney's elite Cranbrook School for boys paint a devastating picture of their workplace."

The school is planning to go co-ed, to include girls, in 2026. It's alarming to think this is the culture.

As it stands, I wouldn't send my son there, let alone my daughter. So I hope very much the headlines this week become ancient history by then.

And by the way, if you think that just because the ABC has made allegations, it doesn't mean they are true - I agree with you.

But here's the thing: I will always believe the truth from my son.

Originally published as My son refused to go to this Sydney school: thankfully I listened to his warning