My parents don't consider my adopted daughter their granddaughter

"She doesn't count," her mum said, when discussing handing down family heirlooms. 

In a now-viral forum post, a mum vented about her family not accepting her daughter - her adopted niece. 

After she announced her recent pregnancy, her mum's feelings in regard to her adopted child were brought to the surface.

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Image: IStock

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"They said she doesn't count"

The woman explained in a forum post, "I adopted my husband's niece, Sarah, nine years ago. While it was hard for Sarah to adapt at first, she loves us and is our daughter."

Now, the joy of expecting another girl is marred by her parents' reaction.

She shared, "When we told my parents, they were excited about their 'first granddaughter'. It bothered me but I tried to ignore it."

The situation escalated when her mum started talking about handing down heirlooms to the unborn child.

"Mum was mentioning things to pass down and I reacted stronger than I probably should have, but I was pretty mad. I said Sarah has been their granddaughter since she was two. Luckily they didn't say it around Sarah but I was not happy," she said.

"We had a fight over it, with them claiming Sarah doesn't count and trying to justify it by saying she's from my husband's family, not ours. But she's my daughter, their granddaughter. She calls them her grandparents. My sister is her aunt and my nephew is her cousin. If they don't accept Sarah then there's no way I want them around either daughter."

In the aftermath of the confrontation, the mum stood her ground, despite her husband telling her to 'let it go' and saying it wasn't meant the way she thinks. 

"I don't want Sarah hearing any of this, and if I can't trust them to treat our girls equally then I can't trust them with them. Everyone else thinks I'm overreacting, but I don't agree," she concludes. 

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"Please protect her"

The community showed overwhelming support for the mum. One comment read, "NTA. Family is about love, not blood. Sarah is your daughter, and your parents should treat her as such."

Another commenter adds, "NTA. They don't deserve to be around Sarah. Your husband also needs a reality check."

Then a particularly poignant comment said, "I’m an adoptee, I knew when my extended family didn’t really see me as their own, even if they didn’t say it, their actions sure did. Good on you for standing up for this girl." 

Echoing this sentiment, someone else reinforced, "NTA- as an adoptee. I’m so sorry that you were treated like that. Kids pick up on so much and are much more aware than adults think."

Another user advised, "Please, please protect her. Tell your parents and husband that comments like that are unacceptable." 

Finally, one comment summarised the situation like this, "YOU have adopted his child. She is LEGALLY your daughter. You are not overreacting... Your daughter is yours. She will witness this favouritism once the baby is born."

Originally published as My parents don't consider my adopted daughter their granddaughter