My MIL makes me buy the kids all their gifts from her

"I know it's a First World problem, so I bite my tongue, then write anonymous articles about her behind her back."

When birthdays roll around or Christmas is on the horizon, every parent knows there is a LOT of work to be done.

Aside from organising birthday invitations, party decorations and cakes, or in the case of Christmas, tree decorating, preparing for the elf’s arrival, planning the food, and all the rest, there’s the biggie – buying the presents.

It's quite the mental load.

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But, in our household, we go overboard with gifts for the kids, happily. We figure they’re only little for a short period and we enjoy spoiling them. 

Every birthday, they wake up to a pile of gifts surrounded by balloons and decorations. At Christmas, Santa is always super generous, and there are presents from us under the tree, too.

All of this takes time and effort, and my husband and I are, of course, happy to do it. But what really gets on my nerves is when my mother-in-law asks us to purchase gifts for them on her behalf. 

Image: supplied

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"She slipped me $30"

The first time it happened, I thought she was being considerate and that she wanted us to choose something that the kids actually needed or liked.

“Oh, can you just buy something for the kids from me,” she said when our son was three, slipping me $30.

“Of course,” I replied. “No worries at all.”

Six years later and it’s become a habit. Frankly, it drives me up the figgin' wall for the extra work it creates for me, and part of me thinks it is sheer laziness.

But then, there's my mum.

One shouldn’t compare grannies, because it’s a cardinal sin and no two grannies are alike, but I’m going to go right ahead and do it. 

My mum takes a completely different approach. There, I said it.

She chats to our three kids about their interests and then she goes home and does her research.

She knows my husband and I are insanely busy with work and life admin, so she shops around for things that she thinks our kids will like, wraps them beautifully and presents them. Thought and effort are part of the deal.

My MIL, on the other hand, has already asked us to sort out her present for this coming Christmas.

“Sure,” I thought to myself when she asked. “In addition to the other 15 gifts I need to purchase for the children for Christmas, I’ll find something from you as well.

“Would you like anything else with your order today?”

"I know it's a First World Problem"

Of course, I don’t say any of this. I bite my tongue and feel irritated, then write anonymous articles about her behind her back. 

But it is just another added layer on the never-ending parenting to-do list to think about, and I’m over it.

I know that this is a First World problem – it’s trivial and slightly petty, and yet it still causes frustration.

I feel like my MIL's approach is a cop out, and I'm tempted just to tell her not to bother buying anything if she can't actually be bothered going and looking around for something. Problem solved.

Having the guts to do that is on my Christmas wish-list.

Originally published as My MIL makes me buy the kids all their gifts from her