'My MIL lost three children before birth - now she wants photos of them at our wedding'

“I was horrified. First of all, we are trying to have a fairly small wedding to start with, and I would like the places to be for our friends and family, not people who have never met either of us because they are dead.”

A soon-to-be bride has been stunned by her mother-in-law’s bizarre guest request for her wedding.

Kelly* and her fiance Josh* are planning a small wedding for 30-50 people, and went about asking both their families if they wanted any family or friends to be invited.

The bride-to-be said her fiance was a bit spoiled as a child due to circumstances out of his control.

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“A bit of background, Josh has a much older brother,” Kelly wrote on popular internet forum Reddit.

“While my future MIL was pregnant three times in between them, all of them resulted in late miscarriages and stillbirths. As a result, MIL put all of her motherly love and attention on Josh.

“He had never tried a fruit or vegetable before I met him because his parents never made him when he was young, and he had grown up assuming they were gross.”

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Kelly* was stunned when her MIL asked for pictures of her stillborn children to feature at her wedding. Picture: iStock

"He suggested we let MIL put up all three photos in one seat"

In spite of this, Kelly said her and Josh were going great and she loved his family for the most part.

However, her MIL’s request for the wedding horrified her.

“As we were planning our guest list, we consulted our families about which, and how many, relatives we should invite,” Kelly wrote.

“Future MIL asked that we ‘invite’ Josh’s dead brother and sisters. When we asked what she meant, she wanted us to put up a framed photo of the dead babies in the pews at the wedding ceremony, and then save them seats at our reception.

“I was horrified. First of all, we are trying to have a fairly small wedding to start with, and I would like the places to be for our friends and family, not people who have never met either of us because they are dead.”

Kelly is now torn, because although Josh agrees with her summation that the request is not on, he wants to compromise to keep the peace.

“He suggested we let MIL put up all three photos in one seat,” she wrote.

“Personally, I think it’s gross and weird to include any of them. We want to have a family and it almost seems like a bad omen, but it means a lot to her and it’s a fairly small ask.

“Josh’s parents are paying for 75 per cent of our wedding, and this is the only request she’s had.”

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"Your wedding is about you and your fiance"

People were quick to support Kelly, saying any decisions about the wedding should be between her and Josh.

“Your wedding is about you and your fiance. It’s not about anyone else or what they want,” one person wrote.

“I can’t even imagine going to someone’s wedding and there being photographs of dead babies in the pews. I can’t imagine how traumatic that could be for some people who have experienced a miscarriage or stillbirth.

“I’d be drawing a firm boundary. I don’t even understand your fiance trying to compromise and potentially choosing to have those photos at your wedding.”

Another person said it would be “so disturbing” to see the photos at the wedding.

“No one wants to see pictures of a dead baby at a wedding,” they wrote.

“My husband’s grandmother died shortly before our wedding, so we added an ‘in memory of’ line to our wedding program to acknowledge her.”

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Others pointed out how triggering such photos could be for other guests.

“Tell MIL the photos may be triggering to people who recently had miscarriages, and you don’t want your wedding to be a source of grief for the guests,” a commenter wrote.

“Maybe you could give her the opportunity during the reception speeches to say something about how she wishes her lost children could have been there.”

*Names have been changed.

Originally published as 'My MIL lost three children before birth - now she wants photos of them at our wedding'