My husband's 18yo colleague calls him 'work dad' - that's just the beginning

"Can I just share a few things he does to hear your thoughts?" the mum asked, before listing some seriously questionable behaviour. 

A mum has been left questioning whether her husband's relationship with his work colleague is crossing a line or not. 

Taking to a parenting forum for advice, the woman explains that her husband started a new job six months ago and quickly adopted the name 'work dad' from one of his colleagues — an 18-year-old woman.

"It seemed quite cute and innocent at first," she says, "because our daughter is 16, so my partner can have this caring, dad nature which I get. He always comes across as eager to help out."

But their friendship has grown deeper and now the dad "won't stop talking about her."

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"Innocent, not grooming"

"It's making me uncomfortable," the mum admits. "He is also giving her frequent lifts, although through no fault of her own. She does live quite far from the office and recently failed her driving test, so it appears she is desperate to drive, and maybe he is just doing it temporarily. I just don't know what to think. Is 'work dad' an innocent name/gesture?"

She's now starting to wonder if the woman is interested in her husband or vice versa, but she says there are a few reassuring signs that things are just friendly between them.

"He is planning for our daughter to work in the businesses after she finishes high school, alongside this current 'work daughter', and he has been encouraging their friendship and gone with our daughter to help her out once. I took this as a good sign that he purposely brought our daughter with him, as it made it look quite innocent," she reasoned.

"I just don't know if I'm overreacting or if this is him displaying a liking to her, which, in my eyes, is pretty disgusting. Also, she doesn't have a dad... her father died a few years ago."

Commenters were equally as torn as the mum, not sure how to read the friendship either.

"It sounds like your husband feels sorry for her, sees her in the same way that he would his own daughter, and feels bad that her dad passed away. He is trying to be helpful in a dad way and is looking out for her," the top comment read.

Someone else agreed, saying, "It is uncommon these days but not entirely crazy and in the context, I would see it as innocent, not grooming-type behaviour."

A third said, "I’d find it a bit weird, but then I’ve seen many strange relationships begin at work, mostly between younger girls and older men. This could be for a variety of reasons: an ego boost, someone trying to climb the ladder, or a midlife crisis. I have never seen a genuine friendship that has lasted the distance in the circumstances you describe."

"I could see my husband doing something like this for very innocent reasons. But I would still feel uncomfortable," another mum wrote. "If it were my husband, I would have a conversation along the lines of what it looks like from the outside and why that might lead to hurtful speculation or gossip, so as much as I appreciate he is trying to be helpful, could he reign it in a bit."

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Some much-needed extra info...

While commenters kept replying, the OP dropped a major update with some much-needed extra detail.

She wrote: "Can I just list a few things he does and see if this changes people's perception?

"He talks about sexual stuff with her, just like office sex talk, but still isn't that inappropriate?

"Texts her after work hours. Has helped her on a weekend with something but did bring our daughter with him and stayed just under an hour. He has gone out of his way to give her lifts... meaning he could finish work earlier and get home, but he chooses to give her a lift, which is the completely opposite way. He has added her on social media although she isn't active on it. Does lunch with her but says he does this with other colleagues as well."

Image: iStock

"It's creepy, she's a teenager"

Safe to say, these details changed the minds of most people.

"Ummm, he's talking about sexual stuff with her? She's 18? That's not right, it's creepy, she's a teenager," said one.

"Most men with female colleagues would run a mile from sexual topics because they make their boundaries very clear," another pointed out.

And then this parent shared, "If my 18yo were talking like that with an older male colleague, I would tell her to run a mile away and go straight to HR!"

"He needs to be careful. Even if it is innocent, she could accuse him of anything, and he's the one who is older and in a position of power," someone else warned.

Originally published as My husband's 18yo colleague calls him 'work dad' - that's just the beginning