'It's heartbreaking to see my 5yo never invited to parties'

"I think I know the reason - they're all something we're not."

A mum has shared her heartbreak after discovering that her daughter is constantly excluded from birthday parties despite being a 'friendly' girl.

She poured her heart out to a parenting forum, saying that she just can't seem to understand why she always misses out on the fun, despite all her other classmates being invited to the events.

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The sad reason the girl might not be invited

The mum said she invited 10 to 12 guests to her daughter's last three parties - but not a single one of them reciprocated with an invite to their own parties.

"My five-year-old child is very friendly, sometimes too friendly. We invited her friends to her last three birthday parties, and while they all show up at our parties and love it, they never invite us back," she wrote.

Image: iStock

"I always thought they don’t have a party with friends, but I just realised they all do, but don’t invite my child," she explained.

"The only reason that came to my mind is that those kids are all white, and we are not.

"Kiddo doesn’t seem to care for most of them, although she cried for one of them that she knew it was her birthday, but she wasn’t invited, and when I texted the birthday girl’s mum, she never responded.

"Anyway, I’m very upset and feel that it can be frustrating for her and me when she grows older."

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"Disgusting"

While most commenters expressed sympathy towards the situation, others said the mum should ask the other parents directly about their reasonings.

"I get it. My child invited his whole class to his party and hasn't gotten invited to other parties this year. One of the boys talked about his party in class and my son was so excited. He thought he was invited and kept asking me to check and double check my email for an invite. That broke his heart and mine.

"I don't have advice. I just feel your daughter's hurt," a fellow mum wrote.

"Disgusting. I’m so sorry," added a second.

"Honey, that sounds super hard. There is nothing that hurts a mama's heart more than hearing that her child is excluded. Have you considered talking to her teacher at school to find out why she might be excluded?" suggested a third.

"I straight up ask the other parents what happened," a fourth shared. "I also, throughout the year, set up play dates so they are friends outside of school. I needed to set them up for success for those key moments."

Then this person suggested: "She might be a bit too extra. I'm unsure what the racial environment is where you live, but some kids are friendly to the point they won't leave you alone. Does she understand boundaries?"

Finally, this person provided an alternative view: "I think you are possibly projecting your past experiences onto the situation, and you are also projecting way too far ahead. I'm guilty of doing that too!

"Your child is not even six, so I'm assuming she's either in preschool or kindergarten. The fact that she hasn't been invited to any parties has almost no bearing on her future social activities. If she's inviting 10 to 12 kids, I'm assuming she's still having 'invite the whole class' type of parties, while the other kids you mention might be having 'invite your three closest friends' parties.

"While it is sad to not have your daughter be picked, it's different than her being excluded."

Originally published as 'It's heartbreaking to see my 5yo never invited to parties'