'I work in daycare and this kid's name is literally a crime'

Lock her up! (The mum, not the child - who we hope never has to give the cops her name.) 

A daycare worker has shared a child's name that she says is so bad, the girl's grandma won't use it.

Posting in a Facebook group, she writes about her workplace:

"Honestly most the kids had pretty normal names," but then notes a name that is literally and metaphorically a crime.

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"Was the mum binging Breaking Bad?"

The carer explains, "The grandma called her by her middle name because the baby’s legal first name is... Phelonie."

Phelonie... pronounced FELONY.

We would love to know what the inspiration was.  Was her dad's name FELON, and they just added a Y to make it sound girl?

Was the mum binging Breaking Bad in her last trimester?

Were the parents inspired by the 2024 male Presidential candidate?

We will never know, which is a shame.

In any case, obviously the name is highly problematic for a number of reasons, as commenters on the post gleefully noted.

What a way to guarantee future trouble. Image: iStock

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"Why would you do that to your kid?"

The overwhelming sense from the comments on the post was... utter confusion.

One read, "Why would you do that to your kid?" which sums up the entire situation.

In general, people were concerned about her passport and birth certificate bearing the name, her school enrollment, and anything she ever did to earn a living.

My concern is what her nickname will be, and I pray no first-grader thinks of 'Phallic Phelonie'. Because that shit will stick.

But the story gets better.

One teacher actually claimed she also had a student with that name.

"When I subbed had a Phelony," she commented on the post.

"I purposely mispronounced it because I could not imagine anyone would name their kid felony. The entire class corrected my pronunciation. I felt so bad for the adorable little girl."

So it seems that Phelonie may have ripped off Phelony, which sounds about right.

The mum explains how this most Aussiest of baby names came to be. Source: TikTok

Mum calls her baby boy the Aussiest name ever

We'd even go so far as to say that Phelonie makes other hilarious/dreadful baby names look sweet by comparison.

A couple of years ago, an Aussie mum wanted to give her baby a strong male name - so came up with "Holden Commodore."

Mum Isabella Veronica Hayes posted a clip in response to a call out for people who have 'baby name regret'.

However, Isabella took the chance to tell her followers that she did not NOT have ANY baby name regret, even though the approach she took with her son was not common.

"My son's name is Holden Commodore," she began in a since-deleted clip.

"Originally we wanted to call him Commodore, but that's illegal in Australia." (FYI, it's a banned name because Commodore in this country refers to a very high-ranking Navy official.)

"So, we called him Holden Commodore. He'll be one soon, and I do not regret it at all.

"People will begin copying me."

Indeed, they may have... but we're not sure the same can be said for Phelonie.

Originally published as 'I work in daycare and this kid's name is literally a crime'