I went to an all-girls high school and I won’t be sending my daughter to one

"Teenage girls are just plain mean– I guess the movie isn’t called ‘Nice Girls’, right?"

Over the last couple of weeks, news that Newington College, a prestigious Sydney boys’ private school, is evolving to the 21st century and enrolling girls from 2026 has inundated my social media.

Parents and former students have taken to protesting at the school gates, distraught that the school is forgoing a rich 160-year strong history.

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It’s time to evolve

Well, I went to an all-girls high school, and it wasn’t fun.

The school itself was great, with dedicated teachers, good facilities, etc., but teenage girls are just plain mean– I guess the movie isn’t called ‘Nice Girls’, right?

Our grade was fraught with bullying, cattiness, competitiveness (not the good kind) and don’t even get me started on the stress that went into mufti day.

I'm not saying this behaviour wouldn't happen at a co-ed school, but I think I would have benefited from gender diversity to distance myself from the drama.

It wasn’t until I got to university that I found a wonderful group of friends (both guys and girls) and felt like I found my tribe.

In the real world

When my husband (who went to a public, co-ed high school) and I were discussing how we wanted our children to be educated, we both agreed co-ed was right for us. 

We decided it was more representative of the real world, and navigating the different personalities and characteristics of different genders was important.

I know for many parents, the argument that putting teenage girls and boys with their raging hormones together is a recipe for STDs, teen pregnancy and distractions, but I politely disagree. 

If teens want to sneak around with their crush and get up to mischief, it doesn’t matter if they are co-educated or homeschooled– they’re going to get it on.

While this movie is an extreme portrayal of my experience at an all girls high school, it wasn't too far off! Source: Paramount Pictures

Why do we have single-sex schools?

In the 1860s, Australia faced a debate over whether boys and girls should be educated separately, rooted in concerns about "moral well-being" and the fear of boys corrupting girls. 

Financial considerations led most government schools to adopt coeducation, except in New South Wales, where a few single-sex public high schools were established in the 1880s as an alternative to private schools. 

The 1950s saw a shift in the debate, with experts arguing that coeducation was better for social development. 

However, feminist critiques in the 1980s claimed girls were sidelined in co-ed classes, countered by the 1990s argument that boys were falling behind academically in co-ed environments.

The question of academic outcomes remains inconclusive, as school settings are complex, with numerous variables. 

Social outcomes are also debated, with some advocating for co-ed schools prepare students for the real world, while others argue that gender stereotypes may affect students' experiences. 

Ultimately, the persistent belief that boys and girls learn differently lacks strong support in educational research, leaving the pros and cons of co-educational high schools open to ongoing discussion.

I love learning and I want my daughter to get the most out of her education.

A point for single-sex schools

It wouldn’t be balanced if I didn’t award a point to a pro I believe single-sex schools offer, at least in my experience, to girls.

I never felt like I couldn’t do something; the only limitations would be the ones I put upon myself.

We all dreamed big and dared to reach as high as we wanted, all supported by our school’s encouragement and support.

It wasn’t until I got to uni I encountered my first instance of misogyny from a guy who said he wanted to marry a woman who had dinner on the table before he got home every night– cue eye roll.

“The measure of intelligence is the ability to change” Albert Einstein

Change is inevitable, and the parents protesting their beloved school need to embrace that.

Give your sons an opportunity to grow up alongside women and marvel at the fact there’s more to us than getting your dinner on the table.

Originally published as I went to an all-girls high school and I won’t be sending my daughter to one