I don't want to spend another sh*t Christmas Day with my inlaws

"I want to cry at the thought of another Xmas in the atmosphere of a funeral parlour... am I stuck?"

Deciding how to split time amongst family and friends at Christmas, especially on the day, is a challenge for most people.

It very often results in no one having things go exactly as they would like; which is frustrating at a time that's meant to be joyous.

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"My kids won't be young forever"

Which is why one mum has had enough.

She explains that she and her husband have been together for 13 years, and have two girls aged eight and five.

"Every year since we met, we have spent Xmas with his family.

"The past few years have been awful; his brother is rude and arrogant, his sister spends the day sniping at everyone, her husband is the most pompous man I've ever met in my life and I'm sitting in a corner wishing I was anywhere but there.

"MIL is selling the house so it will be the last year in that house. But the thoughts of another Christmas wasted on arguments and backbiting and MIL ending up in tears makes me feel sick.

"My children aren't going to be young forever. I want to enjoy the magic with them.

"DH wants to go there, feels his mum will fall apart if we don't. I want to stay at home and possibly have my parents over. But I won't win this one. DH will put his foot down and say he's going with the kids and I can stay at home if I want.

"I honestly want to cry at the thoughts of another Xmas in the atmosphere of a funeral parlour. AIBU in not wanting to go even though it's the last Xmas in his childhood home?"

Image: iStock

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"Christmas is give and take. Nobody gets to dictate every year!"

Most people empathised with the mum's situation.

"Christmas is give and take. Nobody gets to dictate every year!" one wrote.

"Totally agree, a Christmas like that turns it into a farcical obligation as opposed to a happy time," another agreed.

Some were concerned with the husband's attitude, such as this woman who wrote, "I worry about your relationship if this is dictated to you with no discussion.

"Ask him if you can take it in turns to decide where to spend Christmas each year. One year he has the difficult conversation with his parents saying you're not going. The next year you suck it up and go.

"Not great but at least better than the dictatorship you seem to be in now."

Finally, this mum shared a similar situation.

"This is a husband problem. My in laws' house is grim at Christmas - they always expected the grandchild to be seen and not heard.

"No fun at all. Very little festivity and just adults scoffing piles of cheese and wine, and ignoring two excited children.

"Fortunately, my husband saw how unfair this was for them so we go away for Xmas now, every year. We'll see the in laws at some point but not the main days.

"My parents always made it fun. Why do you not get to see your parents on Christmas Day ever?"

Originally published as I don't want to spend another sh*t Christmas Day with my inlaws