I discovered my little girl has no friends in one heartbreaking instant at a party

"I saw it with my own eyes, and it just crushed me."

The love a parent has for their child is like no other.

Despite the midnight poonamis, grocery store tantrums and the amount of food they manage to throw on the floor during each meal, they really are the bee’s knees.

But when one mum discovered kids didn’t think the same about her daughter, her heart broke a little.

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“Nobody wants to play with me”

A mum took to a parenting forum on Reddit to recount a heartbreaking conversation she had with her daughter.

“I have a 6-year-old daughter [who] is currently in grade 1,” she started. 

“Ever since she started the school year, she has been telling me that the girls in her class leave her out and don’t really play with her. 

“She also tells me that she spends recess alone because they don’t include her.”

She went on to add, “In the beginning…I always just thought it was partly made-up stories and that she was exaggerating everything, but I listened to her and tried to find ways to help her out in dealing with these kids”. 

However, months into the school year, the little girl’s stories continued, “Months pass, and she still tells me almost nightly that she’s always alone during recess and has cried over it to me several times."

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“I saw it with my own eyes”

The mum went on to detail a recent experience where she saw first-hand the bullying her daughter had told her about.

“The other day, I took her to a birthday party, and all the girls were there. 

“The girls were running around playing, and I saw my daughter ask one of them if she could play with them. 

“The girl looked at her straight in the face, turned around and walked away. I then saw my daughter’s eyes turn very watery, and it just crushed me.” 

The mum approached her daughter and asked if perhaps her friends didn’t hear her, “She said, 'No mommy, she looked right at me and ignored me’ and I now know what she tells me about them is true. 

“I saw it happen with my own eyes.”

The aftermath

The mum went on to describe the tears her daughter cries each night: “She told me she was alone during recess today, and she started to cry. [And] she asked me if I could get her some crayons and a colouring book for recess so she could sit at the table alone and just colour.

“I don’t understand why none of these girls include her. 

“My daughter is so sweet and loveable, and I’m not just saying that because I’m her mother. It’s just so hard for me to understand why none of these kids include her,” she wrote.

She ended the post with a pleading question, “What can I do to help her? I'm heartbroken for her, and I’m at a loss here.”

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A heartbreaking situation for any parent. Source: iStock

Parents share their support

Hundreds of parents were quick to share words of support or shared in the experience with their own child.

“I’d first request a meeting with the teacher and try to get more insight about what’s going on,” said one parent. 

“Does she interact with peers during class? During lunch? Is it just recess? Recess can be hard. It’s overwhelming in a big group to find a friend to play with,” they added.

Another said, “As a parent, this is one of your nightmares for your child. I would honestly even consider a school change if it's reasonable. If the problem persists, you can go from there”

One parent suggested, “Can you sign her up for an after-school program where she can make some friends? Soccer or drama, maybe?”

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Advice from the experts

According to the Child Mind Institute, helping a child who struggles to make friends can be challenging for a parent or carer. 

Still, there are several strategies that can be employed to support a child's social development.

Encourage socialising by teaching them basic social skills such as how to initiate conversations, share toys, and join group activities. 

Role-play scenarios at home to help them practice these skills in a safe environment.

Arrange playdates with classmates or neighbours to facilitate friendships and give your child opportunities to interact with peers outside of school. 

Encourage them to invite classmates over or join clubs or extracurricular activities where they can meet like-minded children.

Focus on your child's strengths and accomplishments to build confidence. 

Encourage them to pursue hobbies or interests they enjoy, which can boost their self-esteem and make them more approachable to others.

Teach resilience by helping your child cope with rejection and disappointment in healthy ways. 

Remind them that it's normal to experience setbacks in friendships and that they can always turn to you for support and guidance.

If your child continues to struggle despite your efforts, consider guidance from a school counsellor, therapist, or child psychologist. 

These professionals can provide personalised strategies and support to help your child navigate social challenges more effectively.

As parents, all we can really do is give our kids the tools they need and leave them to navigate the world using them.

Originally published as I discovered my little girl has no friends in one heartbreaking instant at a party