'He's innocent!': My toddler chopped off a little girl's ponytail at daycare

"I exercised a rogue technicality and concluded that he won't be copping the full blame for this, thank you very much." 

I've found that the most dangerous kind of parent is one who never accepts their child has made a mistake, let alone deliberately done anything wrong.

If they tell you that, they're lying to you, their child and yes, themselves.

But that's not me. I readily accept when my son has been a menace to society. I'm a strong believer in accepting responsibility, apologising to the aggrieved party, and trying not to do it again. (You know, just generally avoiding a-holeish behaviour.)

But there was one time at daycare I was compelled to go full Elle Woods on my son's behalf in response to an unfair accusation.

And by Elle Woods I mean I got him off on a rogue technicality.

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"He chopped off Abby's ponytail"

My son, aged about three, was in the Toddler's room at the local daycare centre.

He generally played with a little cherub named Abby.

This was back in the day before daycare apps, so it was a surprise to me when I was spoken to quietly at one pick up about an 'incident'.

"He chopped off Abby's ponytail!" I was told by a carer, who gesture to the little angel, sitting there with a perfectly neat (in my opinion) bob.

The carer was taking it very seriously. And of course, it was serious. If I'd been Abby's mum, I would have genuinely mourned the loss of that curly mass. And been worried about what could have gone wrong with a sharp instrument.

So, scissor safety and personal boundaries needed to be reinforced, and I duly reassured the staff that would happen.

GUILTY... or is he? Image: Nama Winston

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"But whose fault was it really?"

As we packed up to go home, I began thinking... but how did he get ahold of scissors sharp enough to cut through Abby's thick hair? 

Aren't they using safety scissors with toddlers?

I casually eyed the craft table and confirmed they were using the kind that can barely cut paper.

Instinctively, I was impressed by my son's dexterity to be able to chop off an entire ponytail with those, but then I quickly pulled my thoughts back to my continuing deductions.

It was impossible, I concluded. He must have got ahold of some adult scissors.

Nonchalantly I asked, "Did he use these paper scissors? I can't believe he managed to cut through Abby's hair! And so quickly, without anyone noticing! Abby must have been sitting very still."

I was asking leading questions, and being very passive-aggressive about it. 

But when one of the centre's selling points was that they have one carer to four kids, I was genuinely curious to know how the incident, which didn't happen in a split second, had happened.

Butter wouldn't melt. Image: Nama Winston

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"He used the adult scissors"

Finally, one of the younger carers came over and semi-whispered, "He used the scissors left by the printer," in the corner of the room.

I knew it. ADULT SCISSORS.

On our way out, I stopped by the director's office to sign the incident report. I told her my safety/adult scissors theory, coupled with my (momentary lack of) supervision theory, and asserted that it if these factors hadn't been present,  Abby wouldn't now be a kilo lighter without her ponytail.

"He's innocent, your Honour," (I said in my head). 

But I did raise those safety concerns like a properly concerned parent, and the director had to concede it was an "oversight" to leave the scissors by the printer, and for the carer to miss the unceremonious cutting.

I mean, really, any older I wouldn't have made those observations - but at three? 

I called Abby's mum that night to apologise. She sounded disappointed about Abby's hair, but agreed it was concerning that it all happened in the first place.

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These days, my son has better things to do that chop off people's hair. Image: Instagram/Nama Winston

When I asked my son about why he was motivated to do what he did, he shrugged and wouldn't make eye contact.

I wish I could tell you he understood and took full responsibility for hacking at his friend's hair, and I was so proud of his maturity.

But that didn't happen. 

I was just glad he didn't commit a crime of opportunity like that again.

I rest my case.

Originally published as 'He's innocent!': My toddler chopped off a little girl's ponytail at daycare