'A message to pregnant women: please give the baby your surname'

"When you're registering the baby ask yourself: why is the father's surname more important than yours?"

Image: iStock

A woman has sparked an international online debate after encouraging pregnant mums to give their babies their surname instead of the father's, as traditionally happens.

 

 

"Why is the father's surname more important than yours?" Barrister Dr Charlotte Proudman asked in a now-viral tweet.

And it has everyone very fired up about how they name their children.

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"When registering your baby, ask this question"

The full tweetreads:  "A message to pregnant women — please give the baby your surname. You carried a baby for nine months, gave birth, and will be responsible for that child for the rest of your life. When you're registering the baby ask yourself: why is the father's surname more important than yours?"

With nearly five million views, and more than 34,000 likes, the tweet has attracted thousands of responses which demonstrate just how polarising the issue is.

Some noted that everyone inherits a surname, so it doesn't matter if it's the mum's or dad's: "The mother’s surname isn't actually hers, it's her father's but the father's surname is his. Everyone inherits their surname."

And there was this balanced response: "Every situation/relationship is different and there should be no need for any hard and fast rule, but perhaps it's often the case that children are given their father's name for the very reason Dr Proudman describes.

"A man can never truly hope to enjoy the same bond as a mother has with the child she birthed. Perhaps giving your child their father's surname is a gesture of connection.

"Why do battle lines always need to be drawn? Parents can decide for themselves. Whatever works for them."

Image: iStock

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"I don't feel an obligation for my maiden name"

Many other parents said they wished they'd done exactly as suggested, while others didn't like the implication that they could have been more thoughtful.

An example of one angry response is: "I think it's my choice what surname I give, rather than feeling some obligation for my maiden surname."

While another noted, "Fathers are also responsible for their children for the rest of their lives."

And this person interjected: "Just because she inherited it from a man, doesn't mean it's not hers. It's been her name for her entire life!"

Image: Twitter

"Coerced into the father's surname"

Dr Proudman says she wrote the tweet as she represents many women in the family courts who feel they were coerced into giving their babies the father's surname.

"It made me think, 'why aren't women giving their babies their surnames?'

"After all, we've grown a baby for nine months, gone through the pain of giving life to the baby and then we arrive at a registration office and give the baby the father's surname. Why?

"For centuries children have been given the man's surname, it's time to redress gender inequality - rebalance - and give babies our names."

Originally published as 'A message to pregnant women: please give the baby your surname'