No-launch dating: should you keep your relationship offline?

Dating off the grid

Is it time to take your relationship offline? Image: Getty

No-launch dating is a refreshing approach whereby some people opt to keep their relationships totally offline. More and more couples (celebrities and normies) are opting in – dating coach Sera Bozza explains why. 

In a world where everything is content, "no-launch" dating is gaining momentum. And honestly, it makes a lot of sense.

This approach keeps your love life off social media for greater privacy and authenticity. Take Timothée Chalamet and Kylie Jenner, or Sabrina Carpenter and Barry Keoghan, whose private moments mostly remain off the grid, and just that—private.

While everyone else is curating the perfect online relationship timeline, couples who adopt no-launch dating find strength and intimacy in keeping things offline. Plus, there's strength in not having to nag your partner to smile like a human or pry their phone out of their hands actually to enjoy your time together.

Why no-launch dating works

Keeping your relationship private eliminated the (internal) argument over whether to post, how to post, or whether to soft launch or hard launch. By removing the decision, you mute your headnoise and allow yourself to focus solely on each other.

Posting anything online involves curation, whether you realise it or not – it’s performative.  Now you can just take the snaps you want without arranging them for anyone else. You avoid seeking external opinions.

Sure, people might spot you in the wild, but when you flatten your genuine relationship into a 2D image, you expose it and all of its details to external opinions, shares, and comments. And any form of external evaluation, or even the fear of it, can cause undue stress in a relationship.

Any form of external evaluation, or even the fear of it, can cause undue stress in a relationship. Image: Pexels

Avoiding the comparison trap

As we all know now, social media can become a toxic comparison game. You see other couples posting their seemingly perfect lives, and it’s easy to compare your relationship to theirs. Spoiler alert: no relationship is perfect.

Opting out of this game saves you a lot of unnecessary stress and self-doubt. You can focus on your own connection without the constant distraction of what everyone else is doing.

You also ensure your relationship is based on genuine connection rather than how good it looks in photos or clips. And you can snap genuine photos, not just trying to recreate the last one that raked in all those likes.

No one wants to think about the end of a relationship, but no launch also means no mess at the end. Image: Pexels

Handling breaks ups with grace

No one wants to think about the end of a relationship, but no launch also means no mess at the end. Breakups suck, especially when they’re unexpected – but you know what makes them even worse? Having to go through them publicly. Not only are you dealing with your own feelings, but you’re also dodging questions and comments from everyone following along at home.

I learned this the hard way, in a bygone era, and it’s changed how I’ve posted – or haven’t posted – about my love life ever since. I plastered my ex on my grid. We moved overseas together, and it was a part of keeping my friends and family in the loop.

But following the breakup, I wasn’t just coping with the fallout; I also had to figure out what to do with my Facebook display pic, which featured both of us. And as my birthday approached and my Facebook wall was going to get eyeballs (I know, I said it was in a bygone era, ok?)

Thankfully, technology has caught up since then. You can archive, untag, and leave everything loud and proud – but keeping things private means you can navigate the end of your relationship on your own terms, and on your own timeline. It’s like a breakup prenup, protecting you from the inevitable social media fallout.

The most meaningful moments shared away from the lens. Image: Getty

How to embrace digital discretion

Whether you’re currently in a relationship or ready to be in one, there’s still time to choose your social strategy. Want to embrace digital discretion? Here’s how.

Communicate with your partner

Make sure you're both on the same page, including what you want to share online and why. Discuss your boundaries and respect each other's wishes. Try to do this as you become official because knowing each other’s comfort levels from the start can prevent future misunderstandings. Resentment grows when they’re pinned to your grid and you’re nowhere to be seen, or the opposite. 

Create offline rituals

Celebrating meaningful moments without feeling compelled to share them with the world keeps you in them, without distraction. Make a conscious effort to limit your social media use when spending time together. Have a rule to only post the day after, and if your phone is too tempting, take a film or digital camera so you have friction when uploading them to your socials. 

Be mindful of your posts

If you decide to post something or have a weak moment and forget your digital manifesto, make it subtle and avoid disclosing too much. A subtle photo or a simple mention can still include your partner without giving away every detail. Consider using private channels like close friends lists or group chats to share moments with a select group instead of your entire follower base. But remember, once it’s online, it lives on the internet forever.

Originally published as No-launch dating: should you keep your relationship offline?