I was on a second date recently with a guy who I’d first gone out with a year earlier. Except this time he revealed that he was in an open relationship. 

‘Huh,’ I thought to myself, ‘That’s new.’ Except it wasn’t because he’d been dating this girl for the past four years. He just hadn’t disclosed it to me, either in person or on Bumble – even when we slept together. 

But by this point, his deceit barely raised my eyebrow. 

Burnt out by boys’ lies, I’d lived through them all. From falling for the guy who didn’t tell me until a month in that he didn’t want marriage or kids (excuse me sir, there’s a box for that), to the older gentlemen (it’s only fair we bestow him this title) who waited until the third date to confess that he was actually three times the age gap his dating app stated, making him 12 years my senior. 

And how could I ever forget the not one, but two guys who left their parenting responsibilities off their profiles, preferring to reel me in before dropping the kid bombshell?

Well, it turns out that it’s not just my app matches that are telling fibs, because according to the number crunchers at dating website eHarmony, 41 per cent of all singles are not being ‘entirely honest on dating apps’.  

Results don’t lie 

Apart from the fact that almost half of us are apparently skipping over the truth, eHarmony’s study –  which involved more than 800 Aussie singletons – also uncovered the top reasons for telling porkies. And it's not good. 

Those looking to couple up said they misrepresent themselves online to ‘seem more interesting’ and ‘appear more confident’, while 31 per cent said they are afraid of being rejected and that it's their biggest emotional insecurity when on the apps. 

So, what are we lying about? 

Exaggerating height and using outdated photos are believed to be the most common untruths, while when it comes to disclosing family life, 12 per cent of men said they’d lied compared to 23 per cent of women.

For hobbies and interests, 22 per cent of men admitted to fibbing and 37 per cent of women professed to editing pictures on their profiles. 

But, here’s the catch. Plenty of us DON’T MIND. 

According to the study, Aussie singles find lying about interests (37 per cent), height (34 per cent) and having kids (18 per cent) to be among the most acceptable fibs on dating apps.

Why people fib

Sure, we might be in a new age of authenticity – where people value the real deal over the faux – but that’s not playing out in the dating pool or how we present ourselves to the world, according to Gery Karantaz, a professor of psychology at Deakin University and couples therapist.

“I think some of it has to do with people's own worries or concerns about how they're going to be judged by others,” he tells Body+Soul, which is nothing new. 

“The idea that people are judging people as to whether they may be a suitable mate or not is something that has always been around. If it wasn’t dating apps it was online dating, and before that it was people writing messages in newspapers in the dating column.”

So it’s no surprise then that people are engaging in some degree of “impression management”, Professor Karantaz says, describing it as “part of the human condition”. 

Which doesn’t necessarily make you a bad person, so long as the things you’re withholding “aren’t major deal breakers or really difficult skeletons that have bad outcomes for people”.

“It doesn't have to be nefarious reasons for why people may obscure the truth a little bit because what we know is that sometimes people's insecurities or self consciousness can be behind it,” the psychologist says. ‘

The detriment of lying 

While the stats show that we’re willing to tolerate some degree of deception, Professor Karantaz says people won’t put up with any kind of grave deceit. 

“If you’ve got someone who doesn't come across as kind, understanding, caring and trustworthy, then it’s essentially violating some of the major things we look for,” he explains.

“When we feel that some of those things that we hold dear are being violated – that is that people are not disclosing what we expect of them – then it brings those ideals or characteristics and that person into question.”

And that is no grounds to start a relationship on, according eHarmony’s relationship expert Sharon Draper.

“If you start a relationship or any kind of interaction with somebody that's based on inaccuracies, even if they are seemingly white lies, you're not setting the relationship up to have a base of trust,” she tells Body+Soul, adding that lying on your dating profile will have a detrimental impact in the long run.

Because while shaving a few years off your age might not sound like a biggie, it can affect how your date sees you. 

“A lot of people that I’ve spoken to, who did go on dates with people who lied about their age at first, did let that slide, but when other problems arose they would use that as ammunition,” Draper explains. “It’s like, ‘Well, actually that was a red flag, and the fact that the person can lie about their age from the start is not a good sign’.” 

While where you stand on kids and marriage can change the entire dynamic of your relationship. 

“A lot of people don't want to have difficult conversations but it's really important to have those kinds of conversations early on because it determines whether you're a good match or not,” Draper says. 

“Because otherwise that is the intention? You need to be clear on what it is that you want in your life.”

Honesty is still the best policy

So, when it comes to filling out your dating profile, Draper says it’s important to be as honest as possible, especially about the facts.

“Don’t lie about your age or even your interests,” she warns, but also don’t feel the need to reveal everything upfront. 

“Of course, there are some topics that are a little bit trickier that I understand you don't want to be judged on, so you don’t have to share vulnerabilities straight away.” 

While when it comes to photos, just be natural and don’t overdo it, “because that just sets you up for more anxiety when you actually do meet”. 

“You've got this opportunity to present yourself in a certain way and photographs can actually provide a lot of information,” Draper says, encouraging people to snap themselves while playing tennis, or wherever it is that they’re into. 

“I would just encourage people to use what they have, make the most with what they've got, and find natural lights. And no sunglasses. Make sure that your eyes are visible and just try to be as natural as possible. 

“But as long as you’re sticking to honesty, that really will go a long way. You're just setting yourself up for failure if you don’t.”