Hot ways to hook up: welcome to the new era of dating apps

When swipe fatigue hits

The new era of dating apps.

With swipe fatigue at an all-time high, a refreshing line-up of downloads is set to revolutionise how we connect. B+S investigates the future of online love.

There’s something so magical about having a meet-cute moment with someone. It’s that catching of eyes in the coffee queue, or the smile as you both realise you’re reading the same book on the train. The encounter might spark something more or be as fleeting as the foam on your flat white, but it’s real. And that, explains techpreneur Marina Anderson, is exactly the feeling she’s trying to capture.

Anderson is the co-founder of a new dating app called Raw. Its premise is simple, really: at a spontaneous time that changes daily, you’re prompted to upload just two real-time photos through the platform’s double camera – one selfie and one of your immediate surroundings – before you can start swiping. No filters; no decades-old snaps; no catfishing. (There’s even an anti-ghosting feature that encourages users to unmatch people if they’ve left too many chats on ‘read’.)

“It guarantees authenticity [by showing] the real you, today,” asserts Anderson, who counts digital dating giants, Badoo and Bumble, on her past resume. “We wanted to recreate that first-sight chemistry so that you can tell if there’s a spark just by looking at each other. It makes it easier to fall in love with someone at first sight online because it feels more like real life.”

Raw is just one of a refreshing new wave of apps trying to put the heart and soul back into online dating. So the big question is: what’s behind the growth of this intriguing trend? In short, these downloads are aimed at people who are tired of sifting through an endless pool of hit-and-miss profiles where the only common denominator is a postcode. They’re on a quest to offer more genuine and meaningful connections with like-minded daters, whatever your specific interests, ideals, values, and relationship goals might be.

A few more examples for your radar? Personal-growth fans can now join the waitlist for Ready – a soon-to-launch ‘evolved dating’ app by meditator and New York Times bestseller, Yung Pueblo, where ‘serious relationships and personal growth intersect’. Or, if you’re seeking a soulmate to share your love of lifting/yoga/trail running, Perth-born Fitafy connects singles who enjoy breaking a sweat. Buzzy ‘open-minded’ platform, Feeld, offers a space for the curious to explore gender, sexuality, and desire, while members-only Beyond Dating is all about self-discovery and fluidity. 

There’s no denying that a few juggernauts still dominate our online soulmate search; Tinder was reportedly the most downloaded dating app in 2023 at 58 million, with Bumble coming in at 31 million and Hinge at 14 million. 

But, in an online dating market tipped to reach $35 billion by 2032 – and with 349 million of us currently using apps – the exciting alternatives are carving out a candlelit corner of their own. Fitafy, for example, reportedly had 11 million swipes in its first nine months, while Raw reached 300,000 monthly active users in its first five.

Shuktika Bose, a clinical psychologist at The Indigo Project, says the social isolation of the pandemic heightened the value of meaningful connection. “[That time] also led many people to reflect on their values and needs within relationships,” she tells Body+Soul. “I’ve noticed a greater desire for authenticity and depth in romantic and platonic connections, a yearning to seek out and spend time with those who align with our values and goals and provide a sense of belonging.”

So, what does the future hold for this revolutionary new age of digital matchmaking? And, with so many of us currently wrangling with swipe fatigue, how can you find a sweeter spot for your love life and mind?

Give your love life the shock it needs.

Swipe, sleep, repeat

Project manager Brenda Van, 30, decided to dial back on dating apps about two years ago, after using them on and off for almost a decade. 

“I was so burnt out from the matching, the talking, the dating, that I was no longer approaching it with a ‘dating is fun’ mindset,” she recalls. “You’d have such a random selection [of profiles] and, beyond whatever filters the apps gave, you wouldn’t actually get a chance to delve deeper into interests or values. And that’s the stuff that matters most to me.”

Chances are this sentiment rings a weary bell. According to a recent Forbes Health survey, an overwhelming 78 per cent of dating app users reported feeling mentally, emotionally, or even physically exhausted by them sometimes, often, or always. What’s more, joint research by Western Sydney University and the University of Sydney revealed that, although 40 per cent of people using swipe-based apps felt a positive impact on their self-esteem, it was also linked with lower mental well-being in other areas.

“Users are constantly met with decisions: swipe left or right, message or not, meet up or pass,” shares Bose. “This can exhaust cognitive resources; I’ve heard it be described more like a chore than an enjoyable activity. The repetitive nature of swiping can also become monotonous, which reduces the novelty and excitement.”

A phenomenon known as ‘the paradox of choice’ often shows up as a third wheel, too. “Although having options can initially seem great, too many can lead to anxiety,” explains Bose. “When faced with an endless stream of potential partners, users may struggle to commit, always wondering if a better match is just another swipe away.” 

It was a vent with mates in the same disillusioned boat that inspired Van to start her side hustle, Dating Apps Suck, which hosts IRL speed dating and singles events in Melbourne, Sydney, and hopefully soon Brisbane. Since launching in 2022, she’s noticed a rise in demand for mixers curated around specific passions, from salsa dancing and fitness to creativity, culture, and business – much like what’s on offer with the new alternative dating apps. 

“People are looking for a connection point as well as more like-minded people,” says Van. “If you have something in common or your values are aligned in some way from the outset, you feel it might be easier to find a romantic connection.” 

People are looking for a connection point as well as more like-minded people. Image: iStock

A romantic refresh

For self-described online dating veteran and Muay Thai enthusiast, Helen Chik, 34, exercise is a strong shared foundation with her partner (who she met offline, FYI). But the author of memoir-handbook hybrid, Sex, Swipes & Other Stories, points out that patience is par for the course, no matter which type of app you use. 

“The likes of Tinder and Bumble have volume, and you just need to sift through it,” she says. “Whereas more niche apps whittle down the starting pool, so you might need to wait for the right profile to come along.”

Much like a strong sneaker selection, though, this smaller-yet-more-curated edit is what gives us space to focus on quality over quantity, notes Bose. “These apps minimise the overwhelming number of choices, plus they encourage users to be more intentional in their dating approach by focusing on what truly matters to them.” Knowing you’re in a like-minded space may also boost your enthusiasm and motivation for the process, she adds.

Whichever platform you pick, Bose recommends: a) setting time limits and boundaries (bye-bye, bedtime swiping); and b) checking in with yourself regularly. “Listen to your body and mind, and take a break if you don’t feel OK,” she advises. “If the overwhelm is starting to kick in, step away and engage in some self-care practices – like movement, meditation, and time with friends – to protect your mental health.”

As for the secret to maintaining dating momentum? Chik advocates moving a match into the real world within 10 days or so. “Otherwise, it can become a pen-pal sort of situation that never goes anywhere,” she says. “I got to the point where I didn’t want to chat too much on the apps; they were more of a way to gauge what the conversation was like and if a person seemed interesting, before trying to meet for a coffee.”

Van found reframing her goal also made a difference. “I used to get so frustrated because I was in the mindset of, ‘I need to find my husband,’” she shares. “But when I shifted to, ‘I just want to find a connection that I enjoy spending time with,’ and removed the focus on the outcome, it helped me release some of the pressure I was placing on dates.”

Intimacy grows from a solid relationship foundation. Image: iStock

The new Golden Age

In perhaps unsurprising news, a brief online search of dating app articles in 2024 doesn’t always paint the most romantic picture. “Dating apps are sheer hell” reads one headline; “Young women fall out of love with dating apps” proclaims another. In an ever-evolving digital landscape, there’s a clear desire for some sort of change. But, is it farewell for good? No way, says Anderson.

“I think it’s more of a rebirth. People don’t want the same tired formulas. They want something new that feels as authentic as they are,” she explains. “I predict dating apps are going to change radically, and soon. We’ll see more experimentation with features and 

more out-of-the-box ideas. We’re just scratching the surface of what dating apps can be if we’re ready to really listen to what users want. I’m excited, and can’t wait to see what happens.”

Bose believes the future is likely to “be more personalised, immersive and supportive”, as these new-age apps continue to grow. Above all, she hopes that privacy and security remain top priorities – a 2023 report* found 47 per cent of online daters in Australia have experienced a safety incident, from financial scams to sexual threats. Last month, the government announced the adoption of a new industry safety code by online dating companies, but it’s still worth digging into any app’s verification and security approach to see whether it feels right for you.

In this emerging era of fresh platforms meeting us where we’re at – whether that’s ready to share a long-term relationship, kink or even a sweaty run – it’s clear that taking time to consider what you’re truly looking for in a connection is the best first move of all. As Chik says, “Dating apps aren’t the solution to finding love; they’re just part of the toolbox.” And whatever you want to build, there’s about to be a community for that. Ready? It’s a date.

Meet the next-gen downloads here to spark more meaningful connections. Image: Getty

Find your new-age app match

Meet the next-gen downloads here to spark more meaningful connections

For personal growth fans: 

Ready

With bestselling author, poet, and meditator, Diego Perez – aka Yung Pueblo – at its helm, this ‘evolved dating’ platform is all about fostering growth in relationships and building strong, serious connections. 

For workout devotees: 

Fitafy

Looking for somebody to match your fitness freak? The Aussie-born Fitafy app lets you filter by workout preferences – like running, hiking – to find people with similar penchants. It even hosts events for a chance to sweat and mingle IRL. Very clever.

For the curious: 

Feeld

A community for exploring gender, sexuality, desire, and connection outside of existing blueprints. You’ll find identities and passions from kink, polyamory and asexuality to consensual non-monogamy. 

For super foodies: 

Timeleft

Free for dinner on Wednesday? Each week, this new loneliness-fighting app sets up groups of like-minded eaters for meals in 160 cities worldwide. And delicious news: it’s just arrived in Melbourne and Sydney. Bon appétit!

For overwhelmed swipers: 

Hello Darling

Tired of app chats that just fizzle out? It’s time to let your bestie do the hard work for you. Hello Darling asks them to pick a date for you before the platform arranges the venue. Consider it the techy version of a classic blind date.

For authentic snappers: 

Raw

In addition to its real-time, unfiltered photos (prompted daily)and anti-ghosting feature, this fake-free, flake-free app also boasts a Respect Meter where you can display your green, red, and beige flags in dating. 

For coupled-up folks: 

Paired

If you’re looking to deepen or refresh your existing relationship, this one’s for you. Paired draws on intel from top therapists and researchers to generate fun, intimacy-boosting conversation prompts and exercises. 

For new beginnings: 

Chapter 2

Founded by Nicky Wake – whose husband Andy passed away in 2020 – this new app and website is solely for widows and widowers. There’s a rigorous sign-up and vetting process to create a safe, dedicated, and compassionate space. 

Originally published as Hot ways to hook up: welcome to the new era of dating apps