Lisa Curry: I want to help all the other Jaimis out there ... I just have to work out how

Lisa Curry has opened up about her late daughter Jaimi’s “endless, frustrating merry-go-round” battle with an eating disorder.

Australia’s golden girl Lisa Curry has spoken about the death of her daughter Jaimi, calling for a debate on ways on improve the mental health system to better support people suffering eating disorders and complex mental health concerns.

Ms Curry said she would not allow Jaimi to have died in vain, and that her daughter had desperately wanted to help others struggling with the same illness that had consumed her.

Jaimi Kenny passed away in September 2020 at the age of 33 after spending years battling mental illness, eating disorders and alcohol abuse.

“I need to speak for Jaimi, and for all the other Jaimis out there,’’ Ms Curry said.

“You hear of people dying every day but you don’t hear the real, raw emotional feelings of the people that they leave behind.

Love and smiles despite the pain ... Lisa Curry and Jaimi in a moment of tenderness. Picture: Lisa Curry/Instagram

“Some people live their lives thinking no-one loves them. It’s so untrue. Everyone has someone who loves them. Everyone has someone who will miss them.

“For someone who might be on the escalator and heading towards the inevitable, if they hear the grief of their loved ones, it might make them realise that this is real. That death is real.

“I have found this extremely difficult to talk about, but I know that even the few things I have said have helped some people who are struggling, who have family members going through the same thing.’’

In a raw and honest memoir to be published this week, Ms Curry told how people like Jaimi fell through the cracks of a medical system which could help stabilise people with complex mental health concerns, but could not solve their underlying problems.

Happier days ... Lisa Curry posted this photo of herself with a young Jaimi on Instagram, on the first anniversary of her daughter’s passing. Picture: Lisa Curry/Instagram

“In her last few years, she wasn’t sick enough to stay in hospital, but … she was too sick for any rehab, so there was nowhere for her to go,’’ Ms Curry writes.

“It was just this endless frustrating merry-go-round.’’

Ms Curry said there needed to be improved funding for research and treatment into eating disorders, which affected so many mainly young people. A lack of dedicated facilities for people with such illnesses and the inability of the mainstream medical system to handle such complex cases also needed to be addressed.

A champion swimmer who won gold at two Commonwealth Games and represented Australia at three Olympics, Ms Curry said she was grateful swimming had given her a public profile she could use to campaign for improved services for other young people struggling like her daughter had done.

Family bond ... Lisa Curry with then-husband Grant Kenny and their children Jett, Morgan and Jaimi. Picture: Lisa Curry/Instagram

“Maybe the point of my swimming wasn’t to win medals, maybe it was to give me a voice and a public platform that I can use to help others, to help people like Jaimi,’’ she reflected.

“I have to work out how to do it.

“For my entire life, I didn’t always know what I was going to do, but I always found a way to do it.

“When I had (second daughter) Morgan on my lap as a two-month-old baby and I decided to go to the Olympics, I found a way to do it; it wasn’t a straight line, but I got there.

“No-one had ever swum at that level as a mother but I found a way.’’

Ms Curry has continued to struggle to speak publicly about Jaimi, finding it too painful and raw.

“Mark Forbes, who runs the End ED (End Eating Disorders) facility told me the more I talk about it, the easier it will become,’’ she said.

Advice ... Mark Forbes of the End Eating Disorders residential facility in Queensland.

“Maybe if I can talk about it more, I can start to think about it more clearly and logically. Then I can get to where I want to go, which is identifying the gaps in the system, and finding the solution to help all those Jaimis out there.

“We need to work out what we need to do with our medical institutions, as a society, because there has to be some way to prevent what happened to Jaimi happening to others.’’

Torn between protecting her daughter’s privacy, but wanting people to understand the pain and anguish her daughter was suffering, Ms Curry has shared some of the challenges faced by her eldest daughter with former husband, the ironman Grant Kenny.

She started developing an eating disorder from about the age of 14, suffering crippling anxiety and low self-esteem, and was involved in a devastating relationship breakdown in her mid-20s which saw her turn to alcohol.

She also experienced what Ms Curry describes as an “abuse of trust’’ which was yet another hurtful layer in Jaimi’s already deeply traumatic and painful life.

Sibling support ... Jaimi Kenny (middle), with brother Jett and sister Morgan and their mother Lisa Curry. Picture: Jett Kenny/Instagram

The Curry-Kenny family – mum Lisa, dad Grant, and siblings Jett Kenny and Morgan Gruell – tried for years to support Jaimi, who cycled in and out of hospital and rehabilitation.

Ms Curry said her book was a way of speaking to a wide audience, not just people with mental illness, about finding the courage and motivation to look after themselves more, to set goals, pursue their passions, and prioritise their health.

“I think overall the book is about my whole life, in context, and should be read as such’’ she said.’

‘A book about my whole life’ ... Lisa Curry’s memoir.

“From a little kid, all the ups and downs, all the successes, the failures, the challenges, the heartache, heartbreak, the really exciting things in my life.

“My decisions are my own decisions and rightly or wrongly, I made them at the time.

“There are some decisions that I regret now, but at the time it was what it was. Like my mum used to say ‘it is what it is.’ I own my decisions. That’s life.’’

Lisa: A memoir – 60 years of life, love & loss by Lisa Curry with Ellen Whinnett will be published by HarperCollins on 2 May 2022 and is available for pre-order from Booktopia now.