Chantelle Otten on smashing taboos, navigating grief, and her exciting new role with Body+Soul

She's leading the sexual wellness revolution

She’s an author, podcaster, and has played a pivotal role in normalising discussion around sexual wellness. Now, Chantelle Otten has joined the Body+Soul team as our new resident sexologist for 2025, and she’s on a mission to make sure you have the best sex of your life. 

We can all probably remember a time when sex education was an awkward lesson in the classroom that may or may not have involved fruit and a form of contraception. This, for many, also may have been the sum parts of their sexual knowledge, with any further insights shared in whispers, behind closed doors or in the pages of sealed magazine sections. Thankfully, this is no longer the case, with insightful, shame-free and inclusive sex content now readily available everywhere – from booming social media accounts and hit podcasts, to bookshop shelves and regularly sold-out sexual wellness events. And it’s no exaggeration to say that Body+Soul’s new resident sexologist – award-winning sex therapist and relationship specialist Chantelle Otten – has played a pivotal role in shaping this monumental change. 

Willing to break taboos and put herself out there in the name of collective sex education and equality before it was trendy, Otten is an OG sex educator on social media. She’s taken her frank, fun and judgement-free approach to sharing information on everything from sex toys to self-acceptance and STIs, and turned it into stratospheric success. “For me, it’s all about educating without alienating,” Otten explains.

“I’ve worked hard to get to where I am in my career and I’m proud of everything I’ve achieved in Australia,” she says. “It’s very hard to make moves and to progress in this industry as it’s such a one-on-one environment. I work really well in that scenario, but in order to help lots of people, I need to look beyond the clinic [Otten founded her namesake clinic in the Melbourne suburb of Collingwood in 2018] and find ways to reach a wider audience.”

There aren’t many people who can speak passionately on subjects ranging from anal sex to the anatomy of the clitoris (including using a life-sized, 3D plastic model by way of demonstration) and make them sound endearing, but Otten, the trailblazer that she is, does just that on a daily basis. 

She has amassed a highly engaged 200,000 strong social media following in the process, along with a number-one spot on the ‘Most Listened To’ Audible Original 2023 charts for her intimate podcast, Sex Therapy – the second season of which dropped last September – and penned a groundbreaking book, The Sex Ed You Never Had, which challenges the outdated notion that discussing sex, our bodies and relationships is taboo. 

“I think a lot has changed,” Otten says, reflecting on the seismic shift in the way we talk about sex and relationships in Australia over the last few years. 

Improving sexual confidence starts with self-awareness and self-acceptance. Image: Tāne Coffin

“From a sexological and professional point of view, there has definitely been increased openness in conversations around sexuality. I think that because people are seeing more conversations – regardless of whether they’re comfortable with it or not – because the conversations are there, they’re automatically changing and learning about it. Media platforms, podcasts, accessible resources, talking about disability, talking about sexuality... We’ve become so motivated to move away from the stock standard way of thinking about things. 

“I definitely think we’re going towards a more empowered, open, unique way of discussing conversations that are challenging... There’s no one-size-fits-all when it comes to life, and we’ve started to realise that a lot more.”

Continuing her mission to smash taboos and normalise sex, Otten has also forged purposeful collaborations with sexual wellness brands, including Lovehoney (“I think it’s great that we’re now able to see pleasure products in pharmacies... and condom ranges and lubricants you can bring with you on a night out,” she freely quips) and also launched a new dating-focused podcast, Give Me A Buzz, with Bumble last year.

So, what could be next for Australia’s most recognisable sexologist? Well, we’re glad you asked... 

Otten has set her sights on a new career goal: conquering the sexual wellness industry in the United States. Image: Tāne Coffin

Making moves, from Australia to the Big Apple

When we chat to Otten for our Body+Soul cover story – ready to announce her exciting new residency as our sexologist for 2025 – she is sitting in the living room of the Manhattan apartment she currently calls home. It’s winter in New York and she’s battling a cold, but she’s cracked the window to let the icy air in anyway as she wistfully lists the experiences she hasn’t had a chance to do yet before she flies back to Australia for some quality time in the sunshine with family, friends and her long-term partner, Dylan Alcott.

As the country’s most highly sought-after sexologist, Otten has now become a high-profile personality in Australia and her power couple status with paralympian and media commentator Alcott has also increased interest in both her professional and personal life on a national level.

Navigating a public relationship while her profile has risen has been a learning curve for Otten to discover what she is – and isn’t – comfortable sharing about her own personal life and sex life. For example, she states, “I’d really like to see more talk about sex and disability where it’s not always related to my personal life. I’m happy to take one for the team once in a while but come on...”

Image: Tāne Coffin for Body+Soul

While she understands the interest in her relationship with Alcott, she tells Body+Soul why she’s become weary of being used as the example: “In the early days of our relationship, tabloid media would imply that we had ulterior motives for why we were dating. I was portrayed in a way that was really scary for me and made me feel uncomfortable. I’m a young woman who talks about sex for work, and my partner happens to be someone who has a disability, and there were people who didn’t understand that we just fell in love with each other. I’d like to think that six years later we have proven that we’re the real deal and we do actually love each other.” 

The pair are doing the long-distance thing for now, while Otten sets her sights on a new career goal: conquering the sexual wellness industry in the United States. “I feel like I’ve achieved a lot in Australia,” the 34-year-old tells Body+Soul of her move to New York. 

“I’ve never been one to sit still for long, so I thought I better get to the US to meet people in my industry and see what the landscape is like over here. I’m a big believer in saying what I want to do in order to make it happen, so I told myself and the people in my life that I was moving to New York. I hadn’t even started my visa application when I made that bold statement. But I have always navigated my career with the motto that if you don’t say it, it’s not going to happen. And now, here I am, my application is in the final stages and I have built a foundation here.” 

“I’ve never been one to sit still for long, so I thought I better get to the US to meet people in my industry and see what the landscape is like over here." Image: Tāne Coffin

Breaking barriers and building boundaries

In the past year, Otten has learnt to set boundaries by taking a step back on social media and using it as a business tool, rather than posting updates about her personal life. “I’ve taken a lot of my life offline and that’s really helped with my peace,” she admits. “What I do in my personal time is my personal life. I’m trying to find a balance now.”  

She did, however, post an emotional and loving tribute to her mother, Veronica Otten, who passed away in October last year after battling leukaemia. One of four children, Chantelle was extremely close to her mother and is very honest about her grief as we talk now.

When asked if she’s okay, she replies candidly from her living room, “No. I’ve been crying all day today, to be honest. My dad is figuring out how to live life without my mum, I have an intellectually disabled sister, and I’ve got two brothers. It’s a lot of responsibility. I’m up to the challenge and I do feel my mum’s presence within me, but I struggle with being vulnerable. My best friend, who I live with here in New York, is the one helping me through my grief. She’s my community and I am so lucky to have her.” 

Otten is on a mission to make sure you have the best sex of your life. Image: Tāne Coffin

While the sexologist is ready to roll up her sleeves and get to work solving Australia’s problems, she jokingly admits that her move to New York after her mum’s death could also be “an attempt to run from my own”.

But while Otten might be looking at a change of location in 2025, her mission to break taboos, start important conversations and find ways to reach an audience beyond her clinic remains the same. “When people say I’ve helped them, or given them a new perspective or changed their sex life, and I’ve probably never met them, it’s just giving information that normalises [their experience] and makes them feel safe and not judged, that for me is a pleasure and the reason I do this work.”

So pull up a seat on the couch and settle in for a monthly dose of wisdom from Australia’s own Esther Perel. The sexologist will see you now…

Otten is an OG sex educator on social media. Image: Tāne Coffin

BOOST your sexual wellness with advice direct from Chantelle

As Body+Soul’s resident sexologist, the in-demand therapist answers some of the most common questions she sees in her Melbourne clinic. The goal? To help you have more satisfying sex

Mismatched libidos can be tricky to navigate. What’s your advice if one partner has a higher sex drive than the other? 

Mismatched libidos are incredibly common, but can be easily navigated with open, non-judgemental communication. Start by discussing your needs and desires in a safe space, focusing on understanding rather than blame. Intimacy doesn’t always have to mean sex – it can include shared moments, touch, or cuddling that help build connection. For the partner with a higher libido, self-pleasure can help bridge the gap, while the partner with a lower libido might explore what sparks their desire, like trying new experiences or focusing on emotional connection. Respect, compromise and seeking help from a sex therapist, if needed, can help create a satisfying balance.

If a couple’s sex life has gone MIA and they’re keen to rekindle the spark, how can they put intimacy firmly back on the menu?

Rekindling intimacy starts with recognising that it’s not just about the physical connection, it’s about that emotional closeness, too. Begin by having an honest, open conversation with your partner about your feelings. Next, focus on creating intentional time for each other. Try scheduling date nights or moments of undistracted time together. Rebuild connection through small gestures, like holding hands, sharing compliments, or even non-sexual touch like a back rub – it can help break down any walls and remind you both of the physical closeness you’ve shared. You can also try something new as a couple, whether it’s a class, a trip or exploring fantasies together. Novelty stimulates desire and keeps things exciting. Remember, it’s not about rushing to recreate what you had, it’s about building something new that reflects where you are now.

A sex therapist can provide tools to build self-esteem and navigate barriers. Image: Tāne Coffin

For women/femmes who rarely orgasm during partnered sex, what are some simple strategies couples can try to help close the pleasure gap?

The first step is to let go of pressure or performance. Orgasm doesn’t define sexual satisfaction, and focusing on connection and shared pleasure can create a much more relaxed, enjoyable dynamic. Open communication is key – talk about what feels good for you, whether it’s specific touch, pressure or rhythm, and explore ways to bring clitoral stimulation into partnered play, as it’s essential for many vulva owners. Self-exploration can also help you better understand your body and guide your partner with confidence. Couples can try mindfulness or tantric techniques to slow down, build intimacy and heighten sensation. If challenges persist, a sex therapist can offer tailored tools to enhance intimacy and address concerns together. Exploring pleasure should feel exciting, collaborative, and free of judgment.

If someone is struggling with sexual confidence, how can you go about cultivating more of it?

Improving sexual confidence starts with self-awareness and self-acceptance. Explore your body, discover what feels good, and let go of unrealistic expectations shaped by media or past experiences. Self-pleasure can be a helpful way to connect with your desires. Positive self-talk is also key – challenge critical thoughts with affirmations about your worth and attractiveness, and surround yourself with people who make you feel valued. If you’re in a relationship, communicate openly with your partner to foster closeness and create a safe space for expression. Confidence grows when you step outside your comfort zone, so consider trying something new, whether in or outside the bedroom. If needed, a sex therapist can provide tools to build self-esteem and navigate barriers.

Originally published as Chantelle Otten on smashing taboos, navigating grief, and her exciting new role with Body+Soul