From throwing diesel onto bonfires to sinking my teeth into worms, here's everything that blew my mind in remote Indonesia.
I just got back from the land of Bintangs and Pocari Sweat (read: Indonesia). In the process I had my mind hewn open like a coconut.
Here are the things that impressed me most - plus one big mistake a lot of Aussies make when visiting Indonesia (down at no.24).
There was no seat back entertainment on my AirAsia flight to Padang (a city in Western Sumatra, which is the gateway to the Mentawai Islands, my final destination and Indonesia's surfing mecca). Though this ruined my chances of watching the person-next-to-me's movie (my usual ritual), it was surprisingly peaceful.
The proliferation of inward curving roofs was evident within a second of touching down in Padang. This was a quirky surprise, and apparently stems from the horns of water buffalo which are part of the area's mythology.
In this globalised world we live in, I thought you could get nut milk anywhere. But not in Padang. Initially this shook me to my core, but after drinking straight espresso with a nice little biccy, I got my head around it.
In Australia, there are two ways of drinking your tap water: cold or... tepid. In Indonesia, however, drinking a glass of hot water is actually quite normal.
You don't get this at Circular Quay in Sydney...
Not saying they're all like this, but this tap in my Padang hotel room made me chuckle. Weird, but effective.
"Do not throw trash or other magical objects into the closet."
Indonesia in general is still pretty gentle on the Aussie dollar compared to places like Europe or America.
Picture via Instagram (@thefarmhostel)
Back at home I break maybe one leg rope every 10 years. In Indo? I broke two in two days, and snapped a board in half while surfing a particularly chunky wave called Bank Vaults.
When a Mentawai shaman rips off the head of a sago worm (a creature foraged from trees) and thrusts it towards your mouth, it's hard to say no. Though I'm still torn about whether it was in a good or bad way, chomping through the hairy skin of this puss-filled creature sure blew my mind. While it didn't taste bad, the texture did me in.
While I was able to walk onto the Mentawai ferry in Padang via a pier, at the other end when arriving at my resort I had to clamber onto a smaller boat as the ferry bobbed in the waves.
One minute it's so sunny you've got your whole face zinced up and a long sleeve rash vest (and a surf hat) on. The next it's bucketing and you can't see more than 2 metres in front of you.
Perhaps exposing the limits of my own ignorance here, but I always thought it was a noodle dish.
Australia could never...
Perhaps it was the volcanic ash, perhaps it was my Bintang-altered mood; whatever the case, sunsets here hit different.
See also: ‘Your captain might be drunk’: 17 things you learn on a Mentawai boat trip
Note to self: when surfing in Indonesia, put zinc on your lips.
I wasn't sure if Western music tastes would have reached remote Sumatra. But then I heard Pac's Life blasting from the restaurant at Kandui Resort.
Picture: Kandui Resort
Adorning the doorway of the communal kitchen at Kandui Resort, I found this creepy but cool.
What is this, Brazil?
Back in Padang (after my 11 nights at a resort in the Mentawai Islands), I was confused as to why so many houses had their balconies covered by mesh wire. Until a local informed me it was to stop monkeys getting in and stealing bananas.
This gets me every time I go to Indo. People love their bikes here like Aussies love Flat Whites.
After visiting Bali (a Hindu island), I had forgotten that the rest of Indonesia is Muslim. But I was helpfully reminded of this fact five times a day while in Padang via the loudspeaker next to my hotel.
I'm not sure what it was (probably rubbish), but there were lots of random wafts of smoke all over Padang while I was there.
After getting invited into a cafe near Pondok market (the Chinatown of Padang) I managed to have a whole conversation using hand signals. We almost could have communicated via smoke signals too as half the cafe was smoking inside (including the barista).
Though my initial reaction to this was disgust, I had to pull myself up and remind myself: comparison is the thief of joy. And this is just different.
Though the smog wasn't ideal to breath in, unlike Aussie cafes, the entrance had no door, so the smoke wasn't as bad as you might imagine (and there were fans on the walls too to disperse it).
In the end, comparing everything on your travels back to your own country is just boring. If you want a special memory to look back on, sometimes you just have to be non fussy and live a little!
If we hadn't got over ourselves, and our shock that people smoke indoors, we would never have had what turned out to be a special experience, somehow chatting with the locals, despite not speaking much of the lingo.
So there you have it. Note to self (and a lot of other Aussies in Indo). Stop complaining about differences, and (within reason), embrace them!
I've been to Spain, the UK, France and Bali, but I've never been stared at in the street just for walking around like I was in Padang. And while it took some getting used to, it was a cool new experience.
It also blew my mind that, thanks to booking with AirAsia (the RyanAir of Oceania), on the return leg of my journey I had to spend more time in Kuala Lumpur airport than I did in the air to get home.
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