10 ways to make new (and meaningful) friends in your 30s

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It can feel hard to make friends in your 30s. If you're struggling to make a start and put yourself out there, here are 10 tried and tested ways to build new lasting friendships this year.

There’s a quiet loneliness that creeps in as we hit our 30s. All of sudden — amidst juggling careers, relationships and self discovery — we find ourselves with fewer friends than we had in our 20s. While some friendships have faded, others have taken different paths or live in far away places, it’s all a natural part of growing up. But it can feel kind of isolating.

Making new friends isn’t as easy as it once was either. While you’d seemingly made friends on the daily when you were at uni or frequenting gigs and busy happy hour pubs, you find yourself with less time to meet new people and fussier about who comes into your orbit. 

In an era that prioritises self-care and self love, the art of building genuine friendships can feel like an afterthought. The truth? It’s not easy to make friends as an adult. We have fewer opportunities, different priorities, and the weight of past disappointments lingering in our minds. But just because it feels unattainable, doesn’t mean it isn’t worth it. Good friends are everything. 

Below are 10 tried and tested ways to make new — and meaningful — friends as you explore your 30s.

Go to a dinner full of strangers

Don’t worry, you don’t have to plan it yourself. There are so many young people going through the exact same thing as you, that people have created actual events that facilitate meeting strangers open to making friends. 

All you have to do is book a ticket at a Supper Club near you — try Club Sup, my fave — pop on a cute outfit and you’re ready to go. You’ll find yourself at a beautifully decorated table with deliciously curated food, wedged between strangers who are ready to be your new fave conversationalists. It’s like blind dating, but for friends.

Find a new local cafe 

Every time I move to a new city or suburb, I make it my mission to find a bunch of local places I love. I always find that going into a cafe by yourself — even if just for a takeaway coffee on your way to work — starts to implement you as part of the daily background and will almost always eventuate in a first-name basis relationship with the staff. 

Even if you’ve lived in the same place for a while, I challenge you to find a cafe or venue you’ve never been to and make it your new local. It’s all about vibe and consistency. When you find a place you like, just go there a few times a week. You never know, you might also find a new lover too (in my experience, baristas are great kissers).

There are so many young people going through the exact same thing as you, that people have created actual events that facilitate meeting strangers open to making friends. Image: Pexels

Take up salsa dancing

I’ve recently started salsa dancing and it’s now a staple in my week. Every Sunday night I go to the Night Cat in Melbourne, where they run classes from 7-9 pm and then there’s live music and social dancing until 1 am. Not only is it super fun to learn a new skill, but it’s actually a really social experience. They give you a name tag at the door and the classes are progressive, meaning you dance with a new partner every minute or so — going around in a circle so that you get to dance with everyone. It’s literally speed dating and a dance class, all wrapped up in one. But only if you want it to be! I have a boyfriend and I go mostly for the dancing vibes, but I’ve only been going for a few weeks and have already made some new friends.

DM someone you admire

Honestly, this works. Speaking from experience, reaching out to a person whose work, content, voice or even journey you feel inspired by or aligned with — can go a long way. Just send them a simple “hey, I love what you’re all about” message. You never know where it could go.

Speaking from experience, reaching out to a person who’s work, content, voice or even journey you feel inspired by or aligned with — can go a long way. Image: iStock

Join a book club

Reading is officially back in! TBH it was never ‘out’ for me, but I’ve definitely noticed the girlies upping their novel intake. That being said, this is the perfect time to start a book club! You could either join one that already exists or put a call-out on your IG, see who else is interested, and take the lead to start your own. Strangers welcome, of course.

Take yourself on a solo date

This is a no-brainer for me. You have to be prepared to feel a little lonelier at first, but taking yourself on a solo date can give you an appreciation for your own company while also opening you up to meet new people. I’ve always found that people are more likely to connect with you when you’re on your own. 

Whether it be sitting at a cocktail bar, reading a book and making friends with the bartender, or taking yourself to your favourite bookstore or to see a movie. This isn’t so much about making new friends as it is about being comfortable in your own presence. It’s a rewarding and fulfilling experience. Use it as an exercise to remind you just how precious alone time can be for reflection, creativity and gratitude.

Reading is officially back in! Image: Unsplash

Attend a class

People are really gearing up on hobbies right now. In our post-pandemic era, we’re rebuilding the community we lost in our extracurricular activities. 

What is something you’ve always wanted to try? Photography? Pottery? Knitting? Pilates? Have a brainstorming session and think about what you’d love to bring into your life. Then, search classes near you, ask friends if they know of anything good, and start putting it out into the universe until you find something that speaks to you.

A hobby you feel passionate about is one of the best places to make meaningful connections, as you already have your hobby in common. You’re much more likely to meet someone like-minded in an environment where you’re doing something you both love. 

Put a call-out on Instagram 

Okay so I love this one. Say you want to go out for a wine but none of your friends are free and you don’t want to go alone. Jump on your socials, take a photo of yourself and where you are and say something like “come meet me for a wine if you’re in the CBD!”. You’ll be surprised how many people respond! And who they are! 

I’ve made some unexpected and magical friendships this way.

Say you want to go out for a wine but none of your friends are free and you don’t want to go alone. Jump on your socials. Image: Pexels

Move into a sharehouse

If you want a break from living alone, jump online and find a cute sharehouse. It does feel a little early 20s, but shared houses are different in your 30s. There are cleaning rosters and plants that aren’t dead and cute ceramic mugs to drink your coffee in. If you find the right group of people, they can be like a chosen family. 

Say yes more often

I know this can be tough, but sometimes we get a little cynical when we’re not meeting anyone new that we like. Or perhaps we’re feeling a bit socially drained, and don’t think we’ll meet anyone that stands out. But you never know unless you try. It’s cliche but true. 

Simply by saying “yes!” more often — even in moments when you’re unsure — you’ll find yourself meeting way more people in environments you didn’t expect to be fruitful. 

Originally published as 10 ways to make new (and meaningful) friends in your 30s