From airing cupboards to ale, these are all the things England does better than Australia.
If you thought Fred Again's Boiler Room set was steamy, wait until you step inside an average English house. Unlike Aussie dwellings, which are designed for heat, and so become freezing in winter, English houses are lovely and warm at all times thanks to the metal radiators on every wall.
For my money, the best thing about England is the airing cupboards. This is a room that houses the boiler (which is usually located outside the house in Australia), which typically has a bunch of shelves in it you can put your clothes on so they dry.
Did you know you can buy a can of Peroni alongside your Powerade in an English train station? Even better: you can pick up a £15 ($29.50) pack of Madrí Excepcional (cheap Spanish beer) in the supermarket (along with a bottle of wine and a bottle of vodka), no questions asked.
In England, showers have buttons. This means you can have it permanently set to the perfect temperature and turn it on with one push of a button. Bliss.
Coming from Sydney, a city plagued by lockout laws and Early Risers, London's nightlife was a revelation. I even managed to find a club that played my favourite rock and metal hits from yonks ago (#what'smyageagain?).
I wish I could say Woolies was Waitrose by another name. But it's not. The variety and quality of English supermarkets is top tier. And don't get me started on Marks & Spencers.
When I think of trains in Australia I think of graffitied seats, the abomination that is the Central to Green Square journey (think: sardines in a can), sweaty armpits and menacing 12-year-olds strutting around with bum bags and Nike Tns. It's either that or a fantastically expensive cross-country journey on the Ghan.
England has enough people, however, to justify a lovely middle ground, where you can catch trains between cities for a hundred dollars or so, while feeling like a character in a Harry Potter movie. My favourite part about it is the spacious seats, the peace and quiet, and the food trolley.
While we have poorly draining rubbish dumps with cricket pitches in the middle and artificial grass pitches that leave you with carpet burns and weird rashes, in England they have grass.
Call me a traiter, but I prefer the selection of beer in England. If you want Great Northern, Tooheys or VB style lager you've got heaps of cheap Spanish beer on supermarket shelves or in pubs. Then you've got a similar style IPA and craft beer section and on top of that you've got traditional warm ales and guiness. Basically: they've got everything we have, and more.
From Greggs and Nandos to Pret a Manger, England has way more fast food options than Australia.
Along with humour and sarcasm, England also beats Australia at free-to-air TV. I don't know what aired in Australia on Christmas Day, but I doubt it beats back to back Wallace and Gromit followed by a Gavin and Stacey Christmas special.
The latest nicotine product targeted at young people
A distraught wife is seeking guidance after learning her husband has visited a brothel 20 times in the last 12 months, adding that he blames her for his extramarital activities.