‘You need to come to the gym’: How a tough love helped Ally Aoukar get her body and mind fit

Ally Aoukar was in a funk when a friend prompted her to make a change. Here, she tells how it kick started a full health transformation and feels in her prime at 45.

Ally Aoukar, Ray Dahdah, Katelyn Timmings and Craig Goodwin at the Pure Black Winter Ball. Picture: Supplied

Body positivity advocate Ally Aoukar, who with husband Ray Dahdah runs events, catering and styling business Out In The Paddock, shares moments that have shaped her life.

I was overweight at 10 – 90 kilos – and, by the time I finished school, I was 115 kilos.

Never your norm, but I never felt different.

I was always very confident.

When I look back, a really integral moment for me was when I was finishing Year 12 and my dad knew I was interested in marketing and PR.

He owned Marcellina pizzeria and he would push me in front of that camera to do little interviews with Jan Beasley on Channel 9 morning program Adelaide Today.

I had this moment, thinking, ‘If he’s putting me forward to represent his brand and everything he’s worked so hard for, then my value is far more than just the way I look’.

Dad saw something in me, and I really looked up to him. That propped me up and gave me this feeling of ‘I am who I am’.

Ally Aoukar and her father Brian in 1985. Picture: Supplied

Ally in 2020. Picture: Supplied

At 21, I was 140kg, and I found myself kind of lost; being overweight, I was feeling stuck in my body.

I was at Cafe Bravo on The Parade at Norwood on a Friday night.

It was buzzing and I saw a group of friends I went to school with sitting in tracksuits.

They looked so happy, like they were living like such a fun life. I remember thinking, ‘I don’t feel like that, I feel stuck’.

I went home and said to Mum, ‘I want to join a gym’ and she said: ‘If you can walk up and down the street every morning for 30 minutes, I will get you a membership’.

We lived in Beaumont, on a hill, and I’d go up and down the street five, six, seven times. Some days, I cheated and went for a wander, but eventually she got me my gym membership.

I totally transformed myself mentally from the inside out. I did the hard work.

Back then, there was no Ozempic, so I couldn’t just inject myself and get skinny.

But it was never about that, it was about feeling free.

Everyone’s journey is so different. You can pass judgment on someone’s body, but you don’t know where they’ve been or what they’re going through.

I lost more than 40kg on my own and it took me five years; I ate really well, went to the gym five or six days a week, walked at night …

Then I got married, had kids, and I would walk and do some pilates, but I didn’t have time for myself.

Ally in 2005. Picture: Supplied

Ally in 2024. Picture: Supplied

In 2021, just in the peak of that Covid s***storm, I was feeling horrible and a friend said to me, ‘You need to come to the gym’.

At first, I was a little bit insulted, because I was like, ‘Really?’.

I hadn’t got to my biggest, but I had gained weight again, and I thought, ‘I’m really scared. I don’t want to. I’m 41, I feel unfit”.

My friend said, ‘Let’s do it together” and we did; we started, and I haven’t looked back.

The minute I stepped into that gym, BFT Glen Osmond, I was introduced to one of the trainers, James. He said, ‘You’re really strong’ and I was like, ‘Yeah, I am strong’.

James said, ‘You can bench press a lot … this is your training’.

You walk into gyms where young girls are athletic and beautiful, and you’re 41, feeling unfit in a larger body, uncomfortable …

To feel strong in that environment gets you through. I was there for my mental health.

I don’t think there’s anything else better (than exercise) that you can do for yourself; It’s even better than antidepressants.

If you’re in a little bit of a funk, you just need to move your body, with a walk, yoga, pilates …

Ally and her husband Ray in 2024. Picture: Supplied

Ally in 2023. Picture: Supplied

I’ve found who I am again.

Ally is someone who wants to be centre of attention, has things she wants to accomplish …

I feel I’m in my prime at 45, turning 46 in a few weeks.

My kids are almost 18 and 13 and they’re great, amazing children. I’ve got a supportive husband.

My current trainer, Beau Williamson from V2Fit Kent Town, does the hybrid program, a combination of weights and cardio.

He makes every person feel seen, and he’ll adapt anything to make it fit for you.

Beau also works in the disability sector, so he has an empathy in the fitness world that you don’t often see.

He sees you. He doesn’t see what you can’t do, he sees what you can do.

A year ago, I said to him, ‘I want to run’ and he goes, ‘Yeah, let’s do it’ but I wasn’t ready.

This year, I was ready for it. I’m like, ‘I need the next step, and I won’t become a marathon runner, and I’m not going to become a size six doing it. I never will be’.

It’s just about being the fittest version of me that will allow me to be the best person I can be.

Now I want so much more for my life. I want my career in a different way.

I get so much feedback from my micro following on Instagram, from women who really enjoy seeing what I do.

I’m inspiring people on a really small scale, which for me, means everything.

If I can get one lady who’s feeling not herself back into the gym to then feel her best – that’s amazing!

Instagram @allyaoukar

Originally published as ‘You need to come to the gym’: How a tough love helped Ally Aoukar get her body and mind fit