The Cool Down: Chloé Hayden on the reality of being 'different, not less'

Plus, what drives her day-to-day

Chloe Hayden. Image: Steven Chee/DLM

We spoke to the effervescent actor, author and former competitive cowgirl, about what drives her. 

At the age of 25, Chloe Hayden has achieved more than most.

She won an AACTA and a legion of global fans for her breakthrough role in the reboot of Heartbreak High where she played an autistic high school student named Quinni. She's vocal advocate for ADHD and autistic people, as well as those living with chronic illness.

Oh, and did we mention she's an ex national competitive cowgirl?

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Before your Heartbreak High breakthrough, you came 11th at the Extreme Cowboy Association world finals. Can you explain what that sport is?

It’s like hectic-arse rodeo stuff. [The event challenges both horse and rider to manoeuvre through a series of obstacles demonstrating both horsemanship and speed.] I’ve been riding since I was four and live on a property in country Victoria, so before acting when I was competing full time, I’d ride every day.

My four horses are much more than exercise to me – they’re my family, my equals – so if my girls aren’t feeling training on any day, we’ll go out into the bush or to the beach or river for a swim instead. 

You’ve spoken at length about living with postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome (POTS). What is POTS and how does it impact your day-to-day? 

I’ve got endometriosis and adenomyosis, too, but POTS means my autonomic nervous system, which controls things like heart rate and body temperature, doesn't work properly. I get tired very easily, especially after horse riding, which is one of the most physically intense sports you can do. It’s only because I’m so passionate that I can forget my body is screaming at me. I also have pretty extreme tachycardia – my heart rate starts at about 100 beats per minute and goes up to 220 if I'm exercising. It’s intense.

For your Heartbreak role, the producers let you help shape autistic character. Does it surprise you that this kind of representation hasn’t happened before?

Quinni is so much fun and everything I wish I was at 16. Usually, when we see a character portrayed as autistic by a neurotypical actor, it’s the same projected stereotype that’s more like Chinese whispers [than accurate]. But as a neurodivergent actor, there are so many minuscule authentic elements I’m not even aware I’m adding until I see them on screen.

When I cover my ears to loud noises or stim [repetitive self-stimulating movements like finger drumming] in a scene, it’s just how my body is naturally reacting. I get hundreds of messages every day on Instagram from neurodivergent people all over the world saying how happy they are to finally see themselves represented, or that they’ve shown a scene to their mum or teacher or parent so they understand them better. 

Does your heightened sensitivity to sensory inputs help or hinder your acting? 

I speak very positively about being autistic, but I don’t have many positive things to say about the sensory thing. It really sucks. In fact, it was one of my biggest worries about acting.

This industry is probably the most sensory un-friendly workplace ever – lights everywhere, loud noises, people touching you all the time, but you still have to be on your A-game. I was really lucky everyone on Heartbreak took the time to ask how they could support me. I had noise-cancelling headphones on set and meetings with the costume designers to make sure outfits weren’t scratchy or going to cause me stress.

A lot of autistic people act their entire lives to survive and ADHD brains are wired for creativity, so if we’re working with people that take our needs into consideration as just needs rather than a problem, then we’ll thrive here.

You’re a lifelong animal lover and at age 18 you turned to veganism. What motivated you?

I’ve been pretty open about the fact I suffered a severe eating disorder my entire teenage years, and I still have days where it gets a bit funky. There are studies showing a very big correlation between autism and anorexia.

Before going vegan, I’d only eat plain, white food, but switching to a rainbow of colour that didn’t hurt animals changed everything for me. Mum felt the benefits, too. She used to suffer from severe eczema, which she hasn’t had since going vegan. Obviously, you have to make sure you get all your nutrients, but if you’re doing it right it can be amazing.

What can people who are neurotypical get from your book Different, Not Less?

Obviously, a very large part of my story is that I am autistic and ADHD and had to navigate that growing up. But if your story is very different from mine, I want you to understand that whatever dragons you’re fighting and however society [judges], you can still choose your own path. It can still be a fairytale.

When I was diagnosed at age 13, I thought it was a death sentence. All I found when I went home and googled was articles by doctors and parents making out my brain was this horrendous mistake. So I started blogging as a teenager because I was desperate to find just one other person like me. I ended up finding millions.

With all the projects you’re juggling how do you let off steam and recharge your batteries?

Honestly, I’m still figuring that out. Other people my age might hang out with friends on weekends to fill their cup, but being autistic and chronically ill, I’d rather hang out with my horses all day or cuddle up in my room with no noise and watch Bluey. The most important thing is to understand what you need then respecting yourself enough to say that’s OK.

Rapid fire round

• I’m currently listening to: Matilda the Musical soundtrack
• I can’t start the morning without: Taking my meds
• I’d absolutely kill to meet: Louis Tomlinson
• My dream holiday destination: Japan
• New fave podcast: Any True Crime podcast
• How I let off steam: Riding my horses

Originally published as The Cool Down: Chloé Hayden on the reality of being 'different, not less'