Melbourne dad Paul Nelson on living with terminal cancer

A dad who has been diagnosed with cancer three times, with the latest graded stage four, has explained how he’s decided to tackle life following the grim news.

Father of two Paul Nelson, 64, with dog Maggie. Picture: Jason Edwards

When Paul Nelson received his third cancer diagnosis — this time terminal — the room started spinning.

The West Footscray dad was first dealt the blow of lung cancer in 2015 after a persistent cough.

He had half a lung and multiple lymph nodes removed, and underwent chemotherapy and radiation before being told he had entered remission.

In 2020 he was diagnosed with prostate cancer, detected via a routine blood test.

He had the organ removed, underwent radiation and took medication that had “terrible” side effects before entering remission again.

At a regular check-up in 2022, scans found an abnormality on his lungs.

Mr Nelson was diagnosed with stage four lung cancer and told to get his affairs in order.

The 64-year-old said while the news was confronting on the day, he went home, spoke to his wife and came to the conclusion “it’s not over yet”.

Since receiving the news he has been medicated, and said the cancer was “stable”.

“But eventually it’ll get me,” he conceded.

“You keep going from appointment to appointment is how I’ve got through most of it … you don’t look too far ahead,” he said.

Mr Nelson, who worked in construction but was forced to retire due to his health,said he experienced pain, wheezing, coughing and exhaustion.

“You could curl up in a ball and stay inside, or just get on with it,” he said.

Mr Nelson’s family — wife Debbie and kids Austin, 22, and Sasha, 19 — have been his motivation.

He’s relishing the everyday moments such as walking his dog Maggie, and enjoying time with family, like trips with his wife.

“I have lots of scans and try to eat well and continue to be active, running, riding the bike, whatever I can manage,” he said.

Mr Nelson has been supported by McGrath cancer care nurse Nicola Lanci.

They were connected following his most recent cancer diagnosis.

She helps patients in Melbourne’s west, and provide clinical, psychosocial and emotional support as an expert in navigating the healthcare system.

Ms Lanci became the first McGrath cancer care nurse in Australia dedicated to the support of people experiencing lung cancer.

Nicola Lanci and Paul Nelson. Picture: McGrath Foundation

During a family holiday in Ocean Grove over summer, Mr Nelson was transitioning from one medication to another and left unable to walk.

He was devastated, but from afar Ms Lanci was able to problem solve and ensure the holiday could continue.

She organised a blood test at a local clinic and a script for additional medication at a nearby pharmacy to get him back on track.

“The other alternative was to pack up and come home, but we didn’t have to,” Mr Nelson said.

“She took so much drama and time out of the experience.”

Mr Nelson said Ms Lanci helped co-ordinate his care and make his journey run smoothly.

“Your minutes are all precious,” he said.

“Since being connected with Nicola, she just took the reins.

“It meant that I didn’t have to tell my story to everyone (in the health system) over and over again.”

Ms Lanci said Mr Nelson was “an incredible example of living well with cancer”.

“He’s more active with lung cancer than most people with or without cancer, and that’s one of the things I’ve tried to support him through,” she said.

People can donate to the McGrath Foundation, which has more than 270 cancer care nurses around Australia, to improve access.

Originally published as Melbourne dad Paul Nelson on living with terminal cancer