Why Jessica Origliasso wants people to be more open minded about being ‘sexually fluid’
JESSICA Origliasso of the Veronicas wants to open minds about being sexually fluid and now has more personal reason to promote marriage equality.
Music
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JESSICA Origliasso of chart-topping duo The Veronicas made a highly passionate speech at a marriage equality rally in Sydney in July.
At the time she was in a long-term relationship with musician Josh Katz. Last month she romantically reconnected with actor/DJ/model Ruby Rose, who she’d previously dated eight years ago.
The 31-year-old singer is now personally motivated to push the issue of marriage equality to the forefront of Australia’s social and political agenda.
“When I did the speech for the last marriage-equality rally I was dating a boy,” Origliasso says. “I remember writing the speech thinking that I’m treated as a fully equal citizen. Now purely because of the gender of the person I am in love with, I have those rights taken away.
“It’s a really confronting feeling. We cannot get married.”
At this week’s ARIA Awards, the hot topic of marriage equality was tackled by several artists.
Sia sent Equality Campaign Ambassador Angie Greene to accept her Best Female Artist award, who stated: “This is for every single non-hetero and gender diverse person who can currently not marry the person that they love in this country.”
Kylie Minogue and fiance Joshua Sasse introduced Troye Sivan, the openly gay musician who dedicated his award to “every gay Australian kid who wants to make music”.
Sasse has launched the Say I Do Down Under campaign to promote marriage equality and point out inequality. So far celebrities including Chris Martin, Darren Hayes, Sir Ian McKellan, Dolly Parton and Margot Robbie have worn the campaign’s T-shirt to highlight the Australian government’s stance around the world — Robbie wore hers while hosting famed US TV show Saturday Night Live.
“He’s so adamant to fight for gay rights in Australia and it’s coming from the most genuine place,’’ Minogue said of her fiance.
‘He just can’t fathom that same-sex marriage hasn’t been legalised and of course I back him up on that.”
During the ARIAs, Sasse said, “This is more than just a movement. This is people’s lives, and we want to say to every single member of the LGBT community: you are not alone. You have a voice and if we all stand together we can bring Australia back on the right side of history, and make 2017 the year that we all say ‘I do Down Under’.”
Sasse and Minogue have vowed they will not say their own vows until all Australians can.
Origliasso has also taken that vow.
“I’m so glad Kylie and Josh are making that stand,’’ Origliasso says. “Even when I was dating a man I always said I’d never get married until marriage equality was passed in Australia. It wouldn’t feel right.
“I’m at an age now where I’d like to settle down, I want to have children. I like the romantic idea of that. All my closest friends are gay. All of them. None of my best friends can get married, not a single one. It was already personal, but now I’m dating Ruby it’s obviously now incredibly personal.
“We’re seeing marriage equality dropped off from being a priority, and it’s not even something that Malcolm Turnbull is considering, I feel emotional rage over it. It really feels like we’re taking a step backwards. It’s incredibly hard to comprehend. It’s only inspired us to want to speak out louder, campaign harder and be a bigger voice.”
During her July speech, Origliasso wanted everyone to comprehend what an important statement allowing marriage equality would make.
“Imagine living in fear every time you walk out of your home,” she told the crowd. “Imagine looking over your shoulder every time you hold your partner’s hand. Imagine waking up wondering if today is the day you’re going to be beaten for looking ‘too gay’, ‘too butch’, or ‘too transgender’. Imagine growing up being made to believe you have to hide who you really are. That being rejected by your family, friends, church is a part of reality. Imagine living in fear of losing your job if they find out you’re gay; or being unable to find employment because you’re trans. Imagine being told that because of who you love, you’re going to hell. That you have a mental illness. That you don’t deserve to be alive. For those that still fail to understand, imagine people struggling to treat you with basic human decency.”
Origliasso and Rose reconnected on the set of the Veronicas’ new video, On Your Side — ironically a song about the beauty in remaining friendly with ex lovers.
The script they wrote for the video is a love story between Rose and Origliasso.
“We wrote it, then we lived it,” Origliasso laughs. “People are literally seeing us fall in love on screen. It’s captured forever.”
Origliasso’s twin sister and bandmate Lisa adds: “They’re lucky. They can look back on this and go, ‘We were young and in love and hot!’”
Initially, the first shot of the video was the two women getting tattoos. The scene was edited out, but the tattoos are real — Origliasso has ‘Ruby’ tattooed on her wrist.
“It was just before we started filming, we’d just got to the point where we were starting to fall completely back in love with each other,” Origliasso says. “So we thought we’d get each others’ initials and Ruby said, ‘I’m getting your name, not your initials’. So I got her name too. We’re both crazy about each other.
“Our value systems and priorities in life have completely aligned in a healthy independence. We want the same things.”
As Origliasso’s feelings for Rose rekindled, she says, “I had the choice to either tell her or not. I thought I may have missed the opportunity. So I told her. I didn’t expect it to be reciprocated.
“But she was like, ‘I can’t believe you’re saying this because that’s how I feel’. I keep saying it was magical. Everything was waiting there for the right time for it to be discovered.”
Since the announcement, Origliasso has been labelled as ‘lesbian’ in the media and online — a situation she again wants to use to open minds.
The singer avoids putting any labels on her sexuality, insisting being in love is about “someone’s soul, not their body parts”.
She identifies as sexually fluid - not gender fluid — and hopes others might be helped from her openness.
“You shouldn’t feel you have to label yourself for someone else to understand you. You should be able to feel what you want to feel and that’s OK. You don’t have to figure out really quickly what you are, who you are, what you want. I’m very, very lucky — when I realised I was sexually attracted to females there wasn’t a struggle where I found that hard to accept. There was no conflict in my mind, it was most seamless understanding for me — Oh, I really love this person, I’m really attracted to this person. I know that’s not a lot of peoples’ experience.
“It’s important to tell people you don’t need to label anything. I remember seeing Missy Higgins and people were asking her about her sexuality and she said, ‘I don’t need to define myself for you. I love who I love, I feel what I feel and that’s all you need to know’. That really inspired me.
“We all transition through life. I want any person who might be struggling with their position to view this as an empowering thing for them. To take this on board and go, ‘She doesn’t feel like she has to fit into some idea’. Ruby is the same way, she’s been very open and explorative of her own self.”
The On Your Side video also includes a controversial plot line where Rose starts abusing pain medication and overdoses.
“The storyline is a fictional relationship drama,” says Origliasso. “(The song is) about standing by someone’s side, even at the lowest time when things are totally out of control. The best way for Ruby to express that through the story she wrote was through addiction. We depicted it as a circumstantial pharmaceutical addiction, but you deal with addiction all the time in relationships. She was taking a surreal aspect of that.
“As the Veronicas, we’re not trying to sugar-coat anything. (Rose) wanted it to feel very realistic and raw. It’s not based on our relationship, but the chemistry and emotions are real. All of the love scenes are very real for us. This was the storyline before we realised we’d reconnected. We were excited about playing these characters people could relate to that maybe weren’t always represented in the mainstream.”
Lisa is only seen in one brief scene in the video.
“It was me who pushed for that,” she says. “This is a love story between two people. I could be there but honestly it takes away from the love story. We’ve done so many music videos I didn’t feel like I was missing out.”
Lisa also clocked the reconnection coming well before Rose and her sister did.
“I could see it from the sidelines, I saw the whole picture. I knew it was something. It always has been something. The universe conspires to find the perfect time for two people to reconnect. It really was destiny; I don’t know how else to put it. Schedules match up, people reach out and you’re at a time in your lives where you want the same things.”
Lisa is baffled by the argument against marriage equality and the homophobia it can stir up.
“What can we do to get to a place of spiritual acceptance that love is love? That’s the concept people need to focus on. It’s not about religious beliefs or any of the rest of it. It has to just be a universal belief that love is love and that’s where it begins and ends. It doesn’t need to be about gender or labels or body parts or anything. People are getting caught up in details that are completely irrelevant to the bigger picture. It can’t be simpler: love is love.”
* Correction - the first version of this story stated Origliasso was ‘sexually-fluid or gender fluid’, rather than ‘sexually fluid not gender fluid’.
Originally published as Why Jessica Origliasso wants people to be more open minded about being ‘sexually fluid’
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