Golden Globe Awards: The 20 best one-liners from the past five years

WITH the 72nd annual Globes almost here we look at the most memorable zingers from the past five years. You won’t believe what they said.

GEORGE Clooney’s fondness for younger women, Meryl Streep’s incredible acting ability and drug addictions of the rich and famous — these are just some of the topics which have been crafted into hilarious one-liners at the Golden Globe Awards.

With the 72nd annual Globes almost upon us, we thought we’d take a look back at some of the most memorable zingers from the past few years, as delivered by hosts Ricky Gervais (2010 — 2012) and Tina Fey and Amy Poehler (2013 — 2014).

2014:

“A very good evening to everyone here in the room and to all the woman and gay men watching at home.”– Amy Poehler

“And now, like a supermodel’s vagina, let’s give a warm welcome to Leonardo DiCaprio.” – Tina Fey

“Gravity is nominated for Best Motion Picture. It’s the story of how George Clooney would rather float away into space and die than spend one more minute with a woman his own age.” – Tina Fey

“Meryl Streep, so brilliant in August: Osage County, proving that there are still great parts in Hollywood for Meryl Streeps over 60.” – Tina Fey

“Matthew McConaughey did amazing work this year. For his role in Dallas Buyers Club, he lost 45 pounds, or what actresses call being in a movie.” – Tina Fey

2013:

“Kathryn Bigelow is nominated tonight. I haven’t really been following the controversy over Zero Dark Thirty, but when it comes to torture, I trust the lady who spent three years married to James Cameron.” – Amy Poehler

“Ben’s (Affleck) two first films were in Boston, but he moved this one to Iran because he wanted to film somewhere that was friendlier to outsiders.” – Tina Fey

“Meryl Streep is not here tonight. She has the flu, and I hear she is amazing in it!” - Amy Poehler

“The Hunger Games was one of the biggest films of the year — and what I call the six weeks that took me to get into this dress.” – Tina Fey

2012:

“The Golden Globes are to the Oscars what Kim Kardashian is to Kate Middleton. Bit louder, bit trashier, bit drunker. And more easily bought. Allegedly.” – Ricky Gervais

“Our next presenter is the queen of pop — not you Elton, sit down. Please welcome Madonna.” – Ricky Gervais

“Who needs the Oscars? Not me, and not Eddie Murphy. He walked out on em, and good for him. But when the man who said yes to Norbit, says no, you know you’re in trouble.” – Ricky Gervais

“Justin Bieber nearly had to take a paternity test. What a waste of a test that would have been. No, he’s not the father. The only way he could have impregnated the girl was if he borrow one of Martha Stewart’s old turkey basters. Open wide.” – Ricky Gervais

2011:

“It’s going to be a night of partying and heaving drinking — or as Charlie Sheen calls it: breakfast.” – Ricky Gervais

“There were a lot of big films that didn’t get nominated. Nothing for Sex and the City 2. I was sure the Golden Globes for special effects would go to the team that airbrushed that poster.” – Ricky Gervais

“Also not nominated, I Love You Phillip Morris. Jim Carrey and Ewan McGregor. Two heterosexual actors pretending to be gay. So, the complete opposite of some famous Scientologist … My lawyers helped me with the wording of that joke.” - Ricky Gervais

“I love this next presenter; he’s so cool. He’s the star of Iron Man, Two Girls and a Guy, Wonderboys. I’m sorry are these porn films? Kiss Kiss Bang Bang. Bowfinger? Up the Academy. Come on! He has done all of those films, but many of you in this room probably know him best from such facilities as The Betty Ford Clinic and the Los Angeles County Jail. Robert Downey, Jr.” – Ricky Gervais

2010:

“I like a drink as much as the next man ... unless the next man is Mel Gibson.” – Ricky Gervais

“Looking at all the wonderful faces here today reminds me of the great work that’s been done this year … by cosmetic surgeons.” – Ricky Gervais

“Actors aren’t just loved here in Hollywood, they are loved the world over. You could be in the third world and get a glimpse of a Hollywood star and it could make you feel a little bit better. You could be a little Asian child with no possessions and no money. But you could see a picture of Angelina Jolie and you’d think, ‘Mummy!’” – Ricky Gervais

Originally published as Golden Globe Awards: The 20 best one-liners from the past five years