Pair involuntarily dismissed in a night of high MAFS drama

The MAFS experts took action against poo toothbrush couple David and Hayley, but the only experts you need are Sydney Confidential’s JMo and Mibenge. READ THEIR SHOW RECAP TEXTS HERE.

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JMo: Here we go, another commitment ceremony!!! Who do you think will leave? I can’t bear any more toothbrush poo talk FYI. John Aiken - this relationship is clearly beyond repair!!! Isn’t that true of all of them?

Mibenge: Yeah this show is a circus. David and Hayley have got to go after that putrid toothbrush stunt

J: Alex and Ivan talking - recapping everything - it’s like they are puppets with the producers hands up their arses telling them what to say - 6 minutes

M: What’s with Michael’s fake British accent? I’m confused.

J: Is he from Adelaide? No, Stacey is. So gross. He says he loves her. “I will not hold her in handcuffs”. I didn’t even notice Mikey and Natasha weren’t at the dinner party???

Stacey and Michael on Married At First Sight. Source: Channel 9

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M: She’s an alpha and will eat him alive. Yeah neither did I. Connie and Jonethen are arguing again, yawn. Another deliberately mismatched couple, courtesy of the producers

J: I still can’t get over the spelling of Jonethen’s name, and his high hairline. Cathy is emotionally detached from Josh - sad face emoji. Michael: “I love everything about Stacey - this isn’t a fling or short term relationship”. I call bullshit. I love everything about Stacey except when I’m lashing Hayley

M: Haha. Yep. In his defence, Stacey wasn’t interested until she saw dollar signs. This Game of Thrones music is intense lol

J: The raised eyebrows from Hayley

M: “It was fine” - how to describe intimacy with a man if you want to bruise his ego

J: I’ve had worse reviews. “I’m still turtling along” - what does that mean Alex???? Josh and Cathy - he seems like such a nice guy

JMo says Josh “seems like a nice guy” on MAFS. Source: Channel 9

M: Yeah really likeable guy. Cathy’s contouring!! It’s called blending girl

J: The judges are so sincere - not. Haha John Aiken looks half asleep. Let’s call him ‘no socks Mikey’ - what a metrosexual. Is it just me or are all the contestants not even pretending to stay solely for the fact they want to build their profiles

M: Lol yep. They’re such posers

J: Mikey and Natasha - gone!!!! Mishel is a teacher right? Wonder what her students think when she’s talking about having sex with Steve. Also, what is that shaved bit of hair like about an inch wide at the front of Steve’s hair

M: It’s so cringe and classless to discuss on national TV. Where do they find these people?

Natasha and Mikey are out of this year’s Married At First Sight. Source: Channel 9

J: Is John Aiken basically telling Mishel and Steve they have to have sex to stay on the show??? Cringe - John Aiken - this isn’t about sex. There are a lot of ways you can have non sexual touch

M: I’m nauseous

J: Stacey and Michael - game on! Michael Goonan still saying he didn’t kiss Hayley - give me strength

M: But also, her trying to convince Stacey is a bit desperate and embarrassing

J: Michael and Tracey - like wt? Why is he staying? Stacey - “if you hurt me, you’re getting crucified.” Hasnt he already? Run Stacey run

Hayley decided to stay on tonight’s episode of Married At First Sight. Source: Channel 9

M: Is she upset? There’s very little facial expression. Connie and Jonathen - did I mention he spells his name strange. Has Connie had a makeover? Her teeth are definitely whiter. Connie and Jonethen - go home!

M: I agree. Put us all out of our misery. Got to love the experts acting surprised at what was clearly an intended mismatch

J: David just said ‘arks’ instead of ask. I can’t deal. Nothing else he says makes sense. Hayley stays - she’s a psycho!!!! Go home if you can’t stand Dave so much. How can Hayley choose to stay - producers should just kick them off. This is where producers need to step in and think about contestants mental health rather than storylines, sensationalism and ratings. Quite frankly it’s reprehensible. Ok I take that back - finally common sense prevails, John Aiken sends them home regardless

M: Yeah this is plain wrong. The producers are torturing poor David for entertainment. Finally a respectful decision from the “experts”

J: There’s a lesson for hot headed me - watch before I react!!! Intruder alert - worst kept secret in Promo for tomorrow night announcing new couples and Lizzie returning

M: So they’re dragging her back to humiliate her on national Tv again? Fool me once...

J: I feel like I’ve been fooled thrice. Over and out!

Originally published as Pair involuntarily dismissed in a night of high MAFS drama